A grand side Quest

I awoke on soft grass, with birds chirping and the sun shining on my face. Yet, I did not go to sleep on the ground, but in my bed at the hospice, and all the aches of my old age were gone. Am I dreaming? No, it feels too real. I feel great; my dreams are always shadows of ideas, never crisp images. The warm sun with the cool breeze was perfect.

I lifted my hand to my face and paused in shock. This was not my hand; it was too small. It was that of a young child. I looked closely at it and wiggled my fingers. They were adorable. I was mesmerized by them when I noticed a scar I had gotten when I was little. It looked fresh and not faded by time, but the ones I had gotten when I was older were gone.

I sat up and looked down at the rest of me. The body of a young, pristine child presented itself before me. The many unwanted wrinkles and blemishes from time were gone, along with my hair. Wait, “I’m naked!” I blurted out.

My face flush, and I cover myself as look around. No one was around, so I began to relax. Then I became anxious again when I realized I was in the middle of a small clearing in a forested area, by myself with no clothes or tools. “Where am I?”

[You are in the realm of Leladon]

I shook my head. Where did this text come from? The text moved with my head. It was in a font that felt like it was from a video game. I certainly did not sign up to have brain implants to play video games; messing with the body like that is unnatural. Yes, I became a tech boomer in my old age. I used to be great with that sort of thing, but you can’t keep up with that level of change at my age. I closed my eyes, and the text remained. I blinked and got angry at it, and then it went away. “I do not approve of being shoved into a virtual world. It goes against everything I believe in. I might be an invalid, but this country still has freedom of religion. You can’t do this to me!” I shouted.

Sure, I felt great. Whatever they did to shove my brain into this Leladon place did wonders for how I felt, better than the drugs I kept refusing to take. I am not long for this world and have made peace with going to sleep with my forefathers. I refuse to become one with a computer and have a piece of me left behind when my soul departs. Not to mention what a silly name they came up with for this place. Young people! I shook my head again. They probably made some law where they could do whatever they wanted to the old. I know freedom has to be earned; we lost it for a time when I was young, but we got it back for the most part. Who was I kidding it was only a short reprieve and it had been eroding for years. I’m old and often get angry at the news, so I have not paid attention for the last little bit and who knows what kind of tyranny has overtaken while I was not paying attention. We must have lost it again. How long has it been since I last checked? Who knows what they have done. Stupid young people.

I gave up on my ruminations. “Anyone there?” I asked. Nothing. Fine. I know how games work. “System, display status.” And just like that, it popped up. I am so in a game… “Sigh. Teenagers,” I said, drawing out the word laced with loathing. Sure, it was probably not a teenager this time, but it was my go-to for when I was especially unhappy with young people and did not know who was at fault.

---

Name: Undeclared

Age: 5 years

Health: Default (Good, fresh as a new baby)

Strength: Default (Wimp)

Agility: Default (Clumsy)

Endurance: Default (Decent)

Perception: Default (Okay, I guess)

Intelligence: Default (Amazing, true genius! A prodigy for a 5-year-old! … Just below average if you were an adult)

Will: Good (This should be Default, but since you are an old soul you get a pass)

Mana: None (You lived a full life without it, why would you want it now)

Race: Human (So vanilla, I know. But at least people are versatile, not like the stuffy Elves)

Sex: Male (Not genders here. You were a boy, you stay a boy. No changing)

Class: Child (You are too young to be useful to society, grow up quickly)

Traits: [a] Realmwalker

Skill: Default (You are adorable, I am sure your mother would think that counts, but it does not)

Languages: Error incompatible language found. (This will be fun, I can’t wait to see how this plays out)

[a] A Hidden trait. Ask me about it. You know you want to.

---

Cheeky developers. Well, I guess this is not a numbers game. As for the name, I have one. “Hey, my name is Orin Blackwood. It says it right on the outside of my door. Can’t you children get anything right?”

[Unable to change name at this time. It must be assigned by a parent.]

“My parents gave me this name.”

[No detected parent in realm]

“Well duh, they died many years ago!”

[Reincarnate Isika detected, expanding name criteria to adoptive parents.]

“Great,” I said, laced with sarcasm. “They went all out on this one to make sure I did not think this was a video game,” I said as I rolled my eyes.

[You died. This is not a game. Your soul was borrowed from your realm. It will be returned once you finish your life here. There will be plenty of time for you to sleep with your forefathers when you return, awaiting what comes after with them at that time.]

This has to be a computer, perhaps some sort of LLM. I dislike AI; no matter how good it gets, it is nothing more than rehashed things it got off the internet. It lacks a soul. I know just the test. I smirked. “If I’m dead and you’re some great and powerful being, prove it by talking to me in rhyming sentences and tell me why you brought me here to this world.”

[Don’t be cheeky, I am not going to rhyme for you. I’m the cheeky one in this relationship. Have you read your status sheet? I could give you stats and numbers, but this felt better. You were brought to Leladon — a perfectly good name for a realm, I assure you. I like the word realm better than world, but you have indeed gone to another world. You have left that snowglobe and landed here. This is where I should give you some glorious speech about how you are the chosen one and blah, blah, blah, but that’s boring and not entirely correct. It was more so that you were convenient. I snuck you out the back door when no one was looking.]

I gave the screen a pointed look at this point.

[Fine, nothing gets past your creator. I made a deal with him. I get you for one little lifetime. You get another full life and the chance to go on adventures, have a family, something I know you wanted. I do have to motivate you somehow. In return, you have to unite the races and defeat the dragon lord. Simple.]

“Oh, so simple, and the catch? I failed at political things as I was always too blunt and my beliefs contradicted society. Why would I be good at uniting? Not to mention, I am not a fighter. There is no way I am going anywhere near a dragon lord. Does this game have a difficulty setting I can change?”

[Not a game, real life, your life. You won't get another. Use it to the fullest. Get your bucket list done. I will start this for you. I made you into a 5-year-old; that's a lot of time to get things figured out. You lived for 96 years before getting this one and did nothing meaningful with it. Now is your chance.]

[New Quest:

Save Leladon Part 1: Unite the races: Human, Elf, and Dwarf. All have long-standing grudges against each other. Get them to put aside their feuding long enough to save Leladon from destruction.

Save Leladon Part 2: Defeat the dragon lord: An ancient dragon has begun to awake from his slumber. He has unlocked miasma magic that has the power to corrupt the realm to death and decay. Everything and everyone will be destroyed if allowed to continue.

Reward: Variable.

Difficulty: Almost impossible. (Harder than Dark Souls or hardcore Minecraft mode)

Time limit: 15 years starting today.

Quest accepted!]

“Wait, I agreed to nothing.”

[Too bad, the quest is yours. You don’t get a choice on this one. Oh, and one more thing. About that borrowing your soul thing. Yeah, I have to tell you this as part of my agreement. You have to live by your oaths and dictates outlined by your creator that you made. You will be judged by your actions here as if you were back home once your soul returns after death. To help out with this, the following classes you are barred from getting: Astrologer, Clairvoyant, Diviner, Druid, Enchanter, Illusionist, Magician, Mentalist, Mystic, Necromancer, Shaman, Soothsayer, Sorcerer, and Warlock. You will be unable to use Magic Charms of any kind. You got this. I believe in you, and it’s not because you were the only soul I could get my hands on.]

I looked down towards my, um, little bit that had been adjusted accordingly thanks to my parents shortly after I was born, noting it was still adjusted. “Is that why?”

[Yes, you’re welcome]

“Moving on then,” I said, relieved and concerned at the same time. That’s a lot to take in. If this is a game, wow, they are good. Too good. If not, then it is a test like everything else. I will do what I can.

A growling noise caught my attention. I became stiff as I blinked away the text to see a large gray beast standing just before me. Then I peed a little. The beast took a step closer, sniffed, and began to growl, showing big bright white fangs. “Eep!” Great, reborn into a strange new world with a sassy AI to greet me, everything set on ultra-hard mode, and I just sat around talking out loud, attracting my doom. Great, thanks, stupid AI made by teenagers. “What on earth is it?” I whispered with a quivering voice.

[Sure, I will give you this one for free, even though you are not on Earth, and I like you. New skill granted (Identify)]

Text popped up above the beast: (Common Gray Wolf) In the corner of my eyes, I could see two other tags popping up with the same label; they were surrounding me. It was waiting for its pack to get in place before it attacked. It’s both smart and dumb. I’m completely defenseless; it could kill me in one strike, but it must not know that and wants every advantage it can get. I am so dog food. It was a nice few minutes before I die again. “A gun would have been better,” I whispered.

[No trades, I already gave you a skill]

*Thud* The wolf slumps to the ground with its head between my legs. I instantly wiggle back away from it as quickly as my tiny, clumsy body can, scooching on my bum. Its head is far too close to my exposed little bit that I care for. Well, too close to any bit of me that I care for. I hear a few more thuds and yelping in the distance. I am too transfixed on looking at the now dead wolf in front of me, with an arrow sticking out of its skull and a lifeless keen eye looking at me, still thinking it was going to have a nice Orin snack.

I unconsciously continue to slowly back away from the beast, but stop when a fine leather boot stomps firmly on the ground in front of me, between my legs, occupying the space the wolf had before I backed up. I begin to slowly look up and see green pants attached with a brown belt. A slender yet well-defined bare-chested male, whose skin is a soft, unhuman pink hue with intricate green tribal patterns on his shoulders and upper arms. He is tall, too tall. It could be that I am small, but still, I think he must be 7 feet. His face is lean and a bit triangular with a sharp nose and long ears popping out of his curly brown hair. “An elf?” I asked, befuddled.

His face dons a deep scowl that transforms into a cold grimace. Faster than I can blink, a sword appears in his hand. Another being steps up beside him. I am too focused on this elf’s blade to look at the other one. They converse in a smooth, flowing language that I do not understand. “Sure, you give identify and quest to unite races, but I can’t understand or speak to them. He looks mad.”

The elf looks to have made a decision. He raises his sword hand to strike. I look into his jade eyes and can see he is going to kill me. I peed… Again?! This body sucks. I should be embarrassed by my lack of clothes, but I guess I’m 5 now. He stops and looks down at his boot that is now freshly sprinkled. I guess this serves him right for stepping there of all places. What a silly man, I mean elf. A dark laugh escapes me, and I begin to giggle like the little boy I guess I now am, well for a short time anyway. Off to meet my creator, thanks for the final laugh before I go. He pauses and his eyes flicker as if reading something. I try to talk between my childish giggling. “Wait… are you doing something to them?” I ask the system.

[Fine, you caught me. I gave him a quest.]

The face of the elf is going through a rainbow of emotions without changing colour. Whatever this is, it must be good. He looks confused, angry, ready to take a dump, and excited all at the same time. How? I finally glance over to the other elf. This one is a woman, shorter by about a foot and wearing long leggings and what looks to be a short dress and a wrap around her chest. She has a softer, rounder face than the man and has a bow in one hand and arrows in the other. Her light violet eyes catch my notice along with a caring smile that a mother would give to a newborn. “Oh, you didn’t.”

[Congratulations: You are now adopted by Elanthrál (Shadow Walker) and Hémelathán (Daughter of the Moon). I am sure they will make great parents. I chose them myself. You don’t think I would let you get eaten this early. I just got you here, I am not letting you get away from me that easily. Think of this as me helping you with your quest to unite the races. It will help with you being a human and being raised by elves. I am looking forward to what they will name you.]

I made a face. I liked my name; now I am going to have some long, unpronounceable elf name. The female, still smiling, picked me up, careful to point my water gun bit away from her but directly at her husband, who took a step back and said something to her. She giggled, then quickly wrapped me in some cloth she got from who knows where. Yay, I get my decency back now that I am covered. Too bad she swaddled me like a baby, and now I can’t move. You win some, you lose some. “So what did you give them as a reward for adopting me? Do they know where I am from?”

[That is between me and them, you do not need to know. They do not know your origins, and you won’t tell them, at least for a long time, as you can’t talk to them yet haha. No seriously, you are not allowed to tell anyone that you are a Realmwalker. That is between us.]

“Cold, man, so cold. I suck at learning languages so much I am monolingual. It will take me years. Can’t you, all-powerful system, do your wonders and dump it into my brain already?”

[No, you are fresh out of wishes, young man. You get to do this the hard way like everyone else. When you finally do meet other humans, you will have to learn to talk with them as well since they don’t speak English. What a dumb, muddy language you have. Remember, you have a nice, young, malleable brain now. It will work out. You got this.]

“I can’t help but get the feeling that you are mocking me and I am nothing more than a shiny plaything you will quickly get bored of. Why go all the way to Earth to grab a man if you have humans here?”

[The humans of this realm have been conditioned for so long that they can’t think in the ways needed for what is to come. You resisted the pull of social pressures in all the right ways. To put it simply, you see the world differently and have an understanding outside of me, the system. They rely on me rather than becoming something more. The threat that is coming needs a different perspective, but first, you need to grow up here so you understand.]

The elf woman strapped me to her chest and took off with remarkable speed and grace, carrying me deep into the forest cover with her husband leading the way. I looked back, and the wolf corpses were gone. Strange, but so was everything about this day.