A Disease of Magic

“Okay, you have to figure out how we can see who exactly is giving off gamma, because I got loaded with second-hand radiation and have absolutely no idea who these people were. And before you ask why, I think it would be really helpful in meeting these other people and getting more information spread about this. Maybe not immediately, but eventually, like we talked about.”

Leo stared at me from his seat on one of the barstools, spoon halfway to his mouth. I let go of my suitcase handle and heard it topple over onto the floor beside me as I held Leo’s gaze. Seems that I needed a lesson in how to pack so my bag wasn’t off-balance.

“Welcome home,” he greeted, returning to what smelled like soup.

“Thanks,” I answered distractedly. My mind was still whirring through the issues I’d discovered while away in another city with Mads while she trained me. “I was thinking that maybe we could look into, like, radiation residue, or something. Like if I were to shake someone’s hand, would that give, like, third-hand radiation? Is that a thing? I think it is.”

“Can you just, I don’t know, sit down and relax for like a half hour?”

I made a face at him and crossed my arms. “Why?”

It was his turn to give me a confused look. “Aren’t you exhausted? You’ve ben gone for, what, three days and just got back thirty seconds ago.”

Pausing, I self-checked how I was feeling. Sure, the plane ride hadn’t been fun with the extremely limited leg room that had my legs sore and loud engines that had given me the start of a headache, but I hadn’t been doing anything physically demanding. Much of the job had felt almost like what I imagined a really boring vacation to be while we waited around for the next scheduled interview. Mads had taken me sight seeing, and the seafood restaurant over-looking the glittering lake at sunset had been incredible. The lobster bisque was now a new favorite.

I shrugged, saying, “I’m fine. Do you need a half hour to relax? Aren’t you home a bit early?” He was. I’d expected to get back from the airport before he got home, and with the support group meeting tonight, I was surprised to see him at all today.

“My meeting was cancelled, so I decided to call it a day since it’d been rescheduled to tomorrow evening, after I’m normally off.”

“So that means you have more time tonight to work on something?”

With an exasperated sigh, he dropped his spoon into his bowl and stood up to put it in the sink.

“Why don’t you come up with something?” he asked.

“Because I’m no good at it.”

“Have you tried?”

“Leo, I have no experience, training, or anything involving that kind of tech. I wouldn’t know where to start.”

“You could always learn.”

“How?”

He rinsed out his bowl and spoon before putting them in the dishwasher. “There’s classes you could take, or watch videos online. I do that sometimes.”

He was being too insistent on me doing the work when he knew very well that I absolutely could not. I’d have better luck designing an app for people with LaShoul’s to use to check in on each other. I’d at least be able to learn the code on my own, with a bit of time, or search for the answers online. But to build hardware and software for something like this? Hell no.

“If you think it’s stupid, you could just tell me you don’t want to. Or don’t have the time. Or a number of other, reasonable excuses besides do it yourself. Because that’s believable.” I rolled my eyes, frustrated and annoyed. Some of that was directed at myself, for my own ignorance and inability to do what he suggested. But a bigger part was directed at him for dismissing the idea immediately, albeit in a roundabout way.

Leo sighed, staring down at the floor, but I didn’t have the time to go back and forth with him about this. After the return flight had been delayed mid-acceleration on the runway due to a faulty door sensor, I had less time to get myself ready for the meeting than I originally thought I would have.

I bent down, grabbed my suitcase, and wheeled it behind me as I strode to my room. Before I reached it to shower and change, I turned and added, “Thanks for taking care of Lucie for me, by the way.”

“She hates me.”

“She’s just very selective with her affection.”

Leo held up his hand, showing three parallel lines across the back. “She did this when I picked up her food bowl to refill it.”

“Oh, you have to take it away as soon as she’s done or she gets like that. Sorry. Must’ve forgotten to mention it.” Whoops.

“It’s fine. But you might think of trimming her nails every now and then.”

“I do trim them. But I’ll make sure to do them right before I leave from now on.”

Without another word, I closed the door behind me to get ready for tonight’s support group meeting. I was curious if Alex was going to be there; I hadn’t talked to him much during the trip, though he’d reassured me that I should enjoy my time and not worry about him. He’d replied whenever I messaged him, but he didn’t initiate conversation at all. While his words had made sense, I had the feeling there was something more going on. He was holding me at arm’s length, refusing to let me get closer despite what I thought was a heartfelt conversation last week after dinner.

Deciding not to ask, I stripped and hopped into the shower, scrubbing furiously to get the grime of travel off my body as quickly as possible to make the meeting on time.

My hair was still damp in its long braid when I finally arrived, making it with a mere five minutes to spare. I glanced around the room, recognizing now-familiar faces and a couple new ones before spotting Alex over in the corner talking to Jade. I made a quick stop at the coffee machine, tapping my pre-loaded card and selecting a honey and oat milk latte that sounded halfway good.

Drink in hand, I made my way over to Alex where he talked with Jade. She noticed me first, offering a bright white smile and cutting off Alex to give me a hug.

“Callie!” She squeezed me tight, once, before letting go.

“Hi, Jade. I hear the business is keeping you busy.”

“Oh, it is. I think I’m going to hire someone else soon. You don’t happen to be good at arranging flowers, are you?”

I laughed, shaking my head. “Probably not. And I’m working at the same company as Alex, now.”

“That’s disappointing,” she lamented. “Alex, are you good with flowers and wanting a new job?”

“Definitely not.” He nudged me a bit with his elbow, winking down at me when I met his eyes. I grinned up at him.

“Well, I wish you luck in your search. And I hope you find someone so you can make more of these meetings,” I said honestly. I liked Jade. She had a relaxed personality, and when I had met her at Silk & Silver she had been so easy to work with. I noticed she was wearing the gold set I had helped her pick out for the anniversary of her floral shop. Even in this unflattering light it still shone brilliantly against her dark mocha skin.

“How was the trip?” Alex asked after Jade left to try to find a new employee somewhere else.

“It was fine. Not as exciting as traveling for a vacation. Or at least, I hope not.” After a year or two, I hoped to have enough money saved up to go somewhere for a week or two, somewhere warm and sunny with beaches and pools and lots of food.

“I promise that vacationing is a lot better than what you probably did.”

“If you say so.”

Alex stepped closer into my space and opened his mouth, only to be cut off by Loren asking the group of us to find our seats to get the meeting started.

Together we found seats next to each other. Placing his hand on the back of my chair, he leaned in closer to whisper, “If you’re free afterward, and not too tired, I have a little surprise for you. Emphasis on little; don’t go getting your hopes up or anything.”

My eyebrows drew together, wondering what the surprise could be. I’m sure he hadn’t meant the words as a euphemism, even though that’s the first direction my mind went, the traitor.

“Does it involve food?” I’d managed to scarf down a quick yet basic sandwich before leaving, and the latte I was still cradling would do little to fill me up.

“We can stop for something,” he answered.

“Deal.”

Loren started the meeting off as usual, and as we took turns sharing life updates and struggles, I noticed that Meg wasn’t here.

I searched the faces again, hoping that despite all odds I’d find her.

I didn’t.

Had I failed to help her, then? Was she gone, or still in hospice? Could I maybe figure out a way to go back and try again? If I claimed we had a few follow-up questions, would it work? Though I wasn’t sure I could hold a conversation and use my abilities yet, it was worth a shot. Right?

My mind let ideas swirl around in my subconscious as I brought myself back to the present in time for Alex, seated on my right, to begin sharing his update. He didn’t have much to say, but shared that some baggage he was still carrying was affecting his relationship.

“I’m not sure how to fix it, or even if it can be fixed,” he admitted. I stared down at my clasped hands on my lap.

This was awkward.

He hadn’t shared that it was me he was in a relationship with, not to the group. But we both knew he was talking about me.

Why hadn’t he just…talked to me about it again?

It was something that was still bothering him, or else he wouldn’t say anything. I thought we’d come to an understanding about a physical relationship. There would be no pushing, not from me, and I was fine following his lead.

Was this his way of putting more distance between us? Was he hoping that I would be the one to break things off, claiming his inability to further our relationship physically as the reason?

This back and forth was beginning to grate on me. And combined with his reduced communication so far this week, I was getting a hint that he was all but done with this relationship.

I wished he could have talked to me about this, just the two of us, instead of sharing it with the group. Instead of having to stew with my thoughts, I could have outright asked him for the answers. It seemed like a coward’s way out. If he wanted it to be like this, then fine.

Two could play that game.

Alex wrapped up his piece, and then it was my turn.

I took a breath.

“I think my boyfriend wants to break up with me, but for some reason won’t come out and just say it,” I began. I felt Alex flinch next to me. Refusing to look at him, I couldn’t know if it was from shock or being called out on it. I hoped it was both. When I continued, I tailored my words carefully to be sure not to reveal anything about what LaShoul’s really was.

“And it sucks, because it makes me wonder what I could have possibly done wrong, you know? He knows about my LaShoul’s; does it have to do with that? Or is it something else? The worst part is that he won’t actually talk to me about it directly, just hints at it, like he’s waiting for me to be the one to pull the plug on what I thought was a good relationship. Like he pities me because of this terminal illness and doesn’t want to be the bad guy. And unless something changes, I might. Communication is important to me, and beating around the bush is just such a waste of time. I don’t want to be strung along. If he sees an end in sight, I don’t want to wait for things to fizzle out first. Just give me a clean break, you know? Don’t waste my time in some misguided attempt to spare my feelings.”

Several people around the circle nodded as I looked around, agreeing with me. I hoped Alex saw them.

“Anyways. My new job is going well. I’m enjoying it, and I got to travel on a plane this week for the first time in my life.” A grin pulled at my lips, remembering the thrill of suddenly accelerating extremely fast, being pushed back into the sparsely padded seat. “It’s definitely something I’m excited to do more of, even though it’s for work and not a vacation. But going on an actual vacation is now priority number one on my list, as soon as I can manage it. And if any of you have suggestions, or know cheap places to go, please let me know. I’m desperate to see as much of the world as I can as soon as possible.”

Alex’s eyes were boring into the side of my face. They felt like lasers, willing me to look at him.

I resisted, keeping my attention politely on whoever was speaking. As soon as the meeting was over, I’d make my excuses to Alex about being too tired for the little surprise he claimed to have planned, and go home. The ball would be in his court then. Whether he knew it or not, whatever he chose to do next would determine the trajectory of this relationship.

As Loren began wrapping up the meeting, she pulled out her phone from her pocket.

“As I’m sure you’ve noticed, Meg hasn’t made it this week, but sent me a message she’d like me to share with you all.”

I tensed, begging the universe for it to be the news that she’d been suddenly cured, there was hope for everyone else, and people didn’t have to keep dying. It was a foolish hope, I knew. As Loren began reading, my breath caught in my throat and my heart lurched painfully.

“Dear friends. I wish I had good news to share. Though I guess you could say this isn’t bad news. I’ve moved away from the city, to where my son has family who will take care of him after I pass.” Tears instantly collected in my eyes, threatening to spill over. I wasn’t the only one. Jade had a tissue out already, dabbing at her eyes, and Melinda’s lip was quivering slightly. I looked away quickly, not wanting anyone’s tears to trigger my own.

Loren cleared her throat and continued, “I’m grateful that I’ve had the time to do this, so my son won’t have to adjust to this new place without me. And he loves it; the playground in the yard, the pool, the space to run around and play. I don’t know how much time I have left, but being here with the trees and the sun feels peaceful to me, and I’ve come to terms with everything. I want to thank you all for your support throughout the years, and helping me make the right decisions for my son. I’ll see you on the other side.”

The battle against my tears lost, I let them fall freely and made no move to swipe them away.

I’d failed.

Meg probably could have been saved. I should have fought harder for what I believed in to try to help her sooner and more purposefully.

Anger was a powerful motivator, and I vowed then and there to do better, be better, as it overwhelmed me. Guilt accompanied it, a quieter partner but still eating away at my soul.

I would have to start small. Work on developing the app to help people look out for each other. Provide gamma radiation exposure with my own ability whenever I interviewed people. I’d need to practice so I could learn to hold a conversation while I did it, but that would be simple enough. Maybe I’d find something small that I could teleport from one hand to another, easily hidden.

After that, I’d set some higher goals. Maybe convince people in charge to spread the word. Or work on developing some sort of portable gamma radiation therapy to help people uncover their own abilities. I’d need Leo’s help with that, maybe Alex’s too, but I could at least start on some research and get a better understanding of what I would be working with.

Wiping away my tears, I stood as soon as Loren concluded the meeting and beelined for the door, tossing out my empty cup along the way.

“Callie, wait!” Alex called after me.

Right.

I slowed my steps but didn’t stop, not wanting to be in a room with grieving people while Alex tried to patch things up between us or break up with me. Either way, they didn’t need our little drama unfolding in front of them.

I made it six steps down the hallway before I heard the door shut behind Alex. My pace was quick and steady, but Alex’s jog quickly caught up to me. Capturing my arm, he spun me around to face him in the empty, dark hallway.

“What’s wrong?”

I blinked at him as my head reared back in surprise.

“What’s not wrong?” I countered. I tugged my arm out of his grip and took a step back. I didn’t relish the hurt that flashed across his face, but I didn’t exactly feel bad about it either. “The fact that you just discussed our relationship to a bunch of people instead of talking to me about it, or the fact that there’s a little boy out there about to lose his mother because someone decided that the information we have that saved our lives shouldn’t be public knowledge?”

Alex glanced back down the hallway. It was still empty. He took two steps forward, forcing me to back up against the wall. I was a caged animal, vibrating with a need to do something, and I wasn’t sure how it would manifest.

“She’s not dying,” he whispered.

My whole body locked up with the information. My brain tried and failed to process is.

“What do you mean? Of course she is,” I countered.

Alex shook his head. He kept his voice low, saying, “No. She developed an ability. But she had to move, because she was too well-known here. It would be suspicious if she was suddenly cured.”

I narrowed my eyes at him suspiciously. “How do you know this?”

“I went to check on her, and saw the signs. The lenses also helped.” He tapped his temple near his eyes, where Leo’s programmed lenses captured the gamma radiation. “The little orange light popped up and signaled it. I reached out to my group, and we invited her in, offered to relocate her with her son. She accepted. She’s fine, Callie.”

The wall behind me was the only thing that kept me from toppling backwards.

Did…did I do that? What I the reason she was alive? Did my little stunt with the apple save her?

I rubbed my hands over my face, letting it sink in.

“As for the other part,” Alex continued, his voice no longer right next to me. I dropped my hands, watching as he leaned back against the opposite wall. “I’m sorry that I did that. You’re right, I should have talked to you about it.”

Waiting for an elaboration, I folded my arms across my middle and just looked at him.

After several silent moments the door opened, revealing more members leaving. Not wanting to interact with them, I spun on my heel and left.

Again, Alex caught up to me, this time outside. He didn’t try to grab my arm this time, but jumped in front of me, holding out a cream envelope embossed with gold leaf.

“What is this?”

“An invitation.”

“To what?”

“You’ll have to read it to find out.” He wiggled the card in from of me a bit, encouraging me to take it. I did, putting it in the pocket of my coat. I’d wait until I was home to open it, whatever it was for.

“That’s the little surprise for me?”

“Yes.” He looked down at his feet for a minute. It seemed like he was trying to gather his courage for something, and it was the only reason I didn’t leave him right then. Finally, he added, “Do you want to grab a bite and…talk about things?”

“I’m pretty tired, Alex. It was a long week, and I just got back this afternoon. Maybe another time.”

“Maybe?” he repeated, looking a little panicked.

I felt just a little bad about that, but it didn’t change my mind. “To be honest, Alex, it feels like you’re pushing me away. What I said in there was all true. I don’t feel like this relationship is something you still want. And I don’t like feeling this way. So I’m going to take some time, I think. Figure out what I want. Maybe you should do the same.”

I was gone before he could stop me.