A Depressed Kendo Player Possesses a Reckless Aristocrat

Founding (3)

The brief speech concluded, and a silence lingered in the park.

Numerous people stood silently with their lips sealed.

Their eyes, every single one, held a complex light.

As if lost in thought, their gazes were deeply sunken.

“……”

Being in such a situation was quite a burden.

It felt as if a heavy silence was pressing down on me.

However, that didn’t make me waver.

Having set things in motion like this, I couldn’t afford to show myself shrinking back.

I had stepped forward, declaring that I would be a guardian myself.

At the very least, I had to maintain a staunch attitude so that someone could look at my back and breathe a sigh of relief.

I descended from the platform with composed steps.

A sense of nausea churned in my stomach from the pressure, and a tired sensation lingered throughout my body.

“Haa…”

The faint sigh I exhaled turned into a white breath, dissipating.

It was a belated sigh of relief.

The sharp tension that had been so present slowly faded.

Perhaps because I had escaped from the intensely focused gazes, my legs felt like they were going to give way.

Thankfully, or so I should say.

At least I hadn’t forgotten what I had prepared to say or stumbled over my words in a pathetic way.

It must have been thanks to the entire day of practice yesterday.

Rachel and Ariel had also been so helpful.

‘I can’t do that again…’

If I were a protagonist from a refreshing novel like Allen, I could have ignited people’s passions with ad-libbed words, but.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have that kind of eloquence.

I who couldn’t even utter a single word in front of strangers, what was I doing giving a speech?

Lucky if I didn’t faint right there.

That I could even deliver the speech just now, it was entirely thanks to practice.

I’m not naturally gifted enough to stir someone’s heart,

I just revised and revised the script countless times, and memorized it diligently.

“…Now all that’s left is waiting.”

Too much has happened.

They need time to think too.

It was just the start for them, so it was time to wait for their contemplation to end.

-Next, representing the faculty, Professor Aaron, our head professor, will give the memorial address…

If I kept quiet, a faint voice followed.

I forced my weary legs to move.

The temptation to go straight back to the dorm and throw myself onto the bed was strong.

But the memorial service wasn’t over yet.

-Just like at our teacher’s funeral… please allow me to stand in Grandmaster’s place at this memorial service.

It was a position that stood in for the academy’s headmaster.

I couldn’t just desert my post halfway, show my fatigue, or cause any kind of commotion.

And… there was still the most important thing left to do.

I made an effort to straighten my back.

And I set the angle of my posture.

So that the precariously stacked self wouldn’t waver.

*

-May the children find peace beside the stars.

With Aaron’s final words, the memorial service truly reached its end.

Now it was the time for everyone to go up and pay their respects to the memorial stone.

It was the most important rite, and the final moment to mourn the departed.

Of course, not all the students filling the wide plaza could pay their respects.

Naturally, only a select few stood before the memorial stone.

Carrying the role of the Grandmaster’s stand-in, I had to lead the ceremony from the very front.

A field of black mourning clothes stretching in a line.

At the edge of the overflowing grief, I stood, facing the traces of those who had left.

‘Somehow… it feels familiar…’

A bland mutter brushes through my mind.

Come to think of it, I was standing at the forefront like this when Master passed away too.

A memory so vivid it felt like paint would smear if I touched my palm, and yet already five months had gone by.

It was a moment to be reminded anew of the passage of time.

I steadied my swirling heart and lifted my head.

Before me stood five tombstones, all bearing a grey pallor.

The forms of the children, no longer with any trace of life.

They had lost the breath that had once overflowed with innocence; they were now cold headstones.

As expected, an unpleasant feeling arose.

I quietly bit my lip, meeting the gaze of the children.

[A flame who sought to seize justice with a vigorous hammer, a valiant boy.]

[Karr, here he rests.]

[A dawn who sought to protect the weak with a chilly sword’s tip, a noble boy.]

[Devrin, here he rests.]

[A light who sought to illuminate the world with holy divinity, a beautiful girl.]

[Orlen, here she rests.]

[A sunbeam who sought to shatter the darkness with a clear mace, a warm boy.]

[Kestis, here he rests.]

[A petal who sought to rustle with a gentle spear, a kind girl.]

[Ria, here she rests.]

Karr.

Devrin.

Orlen.

Kestis.

Ria.

I savored each name etched upon the gravestones.

So as not to miss a single letter, I poured my heart into each one.

No one welcomes death in this world.

I suppose that’s true for everyone.

Even my past self, so steeped in misery that I chose suicide, ultimately felt fear at the final moment.

How much more would these kids, living normal lives and enjoying their days, have felt?

A bitter taste spreads in my mouth.

I tried not to show it, but my insides felt like they were rotting.

As I chewed over the pain that felt like sharp needles stabbing into my lungs, I heard a voice from behind me.

“Are you alright?”

“……”

I turned to see Professor Sharon standing there.

Her blue eyes were fixed on me, filled with concern.

“…I’m fine.”

“Take this. It’s something Student Raiden has to do as part of the procedure.”

“Yes… thank you.”

What Sharon handed me was none other than a bottle of wine.

Lost in a jumble of emotions as I gazed at the red bottle, I soon took it.

The cold that flowed through my fingertips made me shiver slightly.

“Haa…”

With a shallow breath, I pulled the cork.

Immediately, I straightened my posture, holding the wine bottle as I approached the cenotaph.

In the Empire, wine signifies two major things.

Sacrifice, and blood.

That’s why it’s often used to commemorate the dead.

Usually, the custom is to pour wine onto the gravestone, with the intention that they wash away all the pain of this life and depart.

I tilted the bottle I was holding.

The liquid spilling from the small opening covered the gravestone, staining its gray surface a deep red.

I engraved the scent of alcohol swirling at the tip of my nose into my heart.

I quietly murmured.

“…I will remember you all.”

Even if someone views your deaths as nothing more than leaves passing in the wind.

I, at least, didn’t want to forget you.

Because you were something I couldn’t protect.

As scars that can never be erased, I will remember your sorrowful names.

At the same time, I promise.

I will not let your deaths be in vain.

I will live on, desperately, somehow, and lead this world to a happy ending.

So, remember my name too.

Shine upon the world as stars, brilliantly gleaming in the not-so-distant night sky.

When the passing winter wind sadly wails, I will not ignore your pitiful cries.

“Rest in peace.”

I filled the empty vessel of my heart with the departed.

*

The sun that hung in the sky was gradually setting as well.

The memorial service had ended long ago.

The plaza, once filled with such grief, was now only swept by a gentle breeze.

A field slowly bathed in the sunset glow.

I was still standing there.

Not for any other reason, but because there was someone I had to meet.

“It’s been a while, Master.”

I muttered towards the tombstone before me.

My voice was thick with weariness, but I tried my best to feign composure.

I couldn’t let my Master worry.

“I haven’t been able to visit much recently. Please, forgive my neglectful disciple.”

Before the invasion, I used to visit at least once a week.

So much had happened that I hadn’t set foot here for the past three months.

“I hope you are at peace there.”

A bitter feeling rose for no apparent reason.

Perhaps today’s memorial service had brought your memory into even sharper focus.

I clenched my fist tightly.

“Since you departed, Master… there have been several misfortunes.”

The students you loved so dearly.

“In the end, the students became the sacrifice.”

I had no face to show.

Not even half a year had passed since I sent Master off.

Today, we buried five children in the same soil that once covered your flesh.

As a disciple, I had wanted to be someone who carried on their noble will.

Was that wish too presumptuous?

“If Master were here now… you would have comforted me, telling me not to be disheartened. You were always a warm person.”

I knew.

I had done my best, and the outcome wasn’t bad.

According to the original work, this invasion should have caused over 300 fatalities.

To have reduced such a tragedy to just 5 deaths, I should be happy, shouldn’t I?

But I couldn’t possibly feel that way.

If I had done better.

If I had been more fiercely engaged with life.

If I had reacted more calmly the moment Lekus suddenly appeared.

Could I not have created a better outcome?

One where no one died, no one grieved.

Could I not have stitched together a result where only celebration remained?

‘……It’s inevitable that I think this way.’

A bitter smile traced my lips.

It was due to my filthy nature.

Because I was a coward who didn’t want to lose a single thing, I dreaded this situation terribly.

-Click, hisssss…

I lit the death-weed and inhaled.

I had been trying to abstain recently, but I couldn’t possibly bear it.

It felt like I had to rely on this drug to avoid faltering.

“I won’t… allow this to happen again.”

Master had pulled me from my dark days.

This time, I, too, will extend my hand to the children Master loved so dearly.

A flawed disciple I was, a flawed disciple I am, and a flawed disciple I will be.

I won’t let your will break, at the very least.

The noble will of a Watcher.

I yearn for that kind of you.

I will become a sword to cut down the darkness.

“I, will protect the Academy.”

This was an oath offered wholly to you.

I spoke my final words.

And then, I slowly bowed at the waist, giving a respectful salute.

*

The walk back to the dorm.

Perhaps it was because I had stayed by my teacher’s side for quite a while, the sky had grown dim.

The others had already returned to their respective dorms a long time ago.

I had sent them back so they wouldn’t linger in the cold, as it still hadn’t warmed up yet.

They all protested that they wanted to stay with me, though.

But at my firm shake of the head, they had no choice but to turn and leave.

“……”

Walking alone felt quite foreign.

Perhaps it was because for the past month, I’d been surrounded by countless people, always moving in a crowd.

The quiet itself felt like a distant memory.

It wasn’t a bad feeling, though.

Today happened to be a day my head was full, so it was comfortable to walk while thinking about things.

Thump, thump…

I took each step, filled with a heavy silence.

I was about to leave the main building’s grounds and catch a night carriage headed towards the dorm, when

“Huh…”

I saw a familiar figure flickering in the distance.

I had no choice but to stop in that moment.

Because it was a face I knew so very well.

Hair that shone with a radiant gold.

Golden eyes nestled among delicate features.

Though his appearance had somewhat lost its luster, he still gave off the impression of a pretty boy.

“…Alan?”

Alan Reinhardt.

The protagonist of the original work, ‘Heroes Who Erase Sorrow.’

And that damned b*stard, who had driven me to the edge of a cliff just a few months ago.

He was sprawled out on the street.

Lying there miserably, wiping the clear trails of tears from his cheeks.

“Lisey, Pr… Your Highness?”

Having been in disarray, he met my gaze.

His lifeless eyes widened slightly.