A Depressed Kendo Player Possesses a Reckless Aristocrat

Side Story – Outside the Nightmare

Around two years ago.

A certain day when Lyden was still a reckless brute.

The black-haired boy was living a day no different from any other.

-Look over there, it’s that hooligan…

-Let’s go somewhere else, what if he causes trouble again?

-That thing is the eldest son of a duke… The future of the Lisit family is clear as day.

His staggering steps were cutting across the heart of the Academy square.

The students scattered, avoiding Lyden, who reeked of alcohol and was wandering the streets.

No one knew what kind of torment awaited them if they caught his eye.

They watched the boy from afar, their gazes a mix of contempt and fear.

“……”

Lyden was aware of the children’s stares as well.

But he didn’t react to any of it.

Usually, he would pick fights with a few passersby, working to tarnish his reputation even further.

But today, he was just not in the mood for it.

No, rather than a matter of mood, it was closer to a matter of heart.

He was just too exhausted now.

– Returning to the family estate after so long, and the first thing you do is flip the dinner table during a meal.

– You haven’t changed one bit, Raiden.

– Just how much are you planning to disappoint your father?

The words he’d heard from his father yesterday were echoing in his ears.

Disappointment.

As he briefly savored the resonance of that simple word, a girl’s voice followed, ringing in his head.

– Young master, please stop now.

– There’s no need for you to intentionally make people dislike you…

– It wasn’t your fault that the Duchess passed away back then. So…!

Her words, filled with worry for him.

A few words, trembling softly.

And then…

– *Smack!*

– Shut… your mouth, Rachel.

The sharp, cutting sound of skin hitting skin.

A red handprint was blooming on the girl’s cheek.

The boy, his reason swept away by the mention of his mother, pushed the girl roughly.

– A servant acting like she owns the place, huh?

– I must’ve been too nice to you when you were little, so you got the wrong idea…

– You, a lowly thing who used to roll around in the slums’ garbage heap, dare not speak to me.

– If I hadn’t taken you in, you’d be working as a whore in a brothel by now.

Brown eyes eventually began to shed tears.

But her gaze remained fixed on the boy.

Her face, from which sorrow and pity were leaking out.

Raiden couldn’t help but freeze for a moment at her gaze, as if looking at a pitiful creature.

In that clear sympathy, there was no hatred or resentment whatsoever.

But that, rather, hurt the boy’s heart even more.

Raiden bolted out of the mansion, with a sensation like he was going to throw up.

And then, he was back here now.

“Ugh… haa…”

With his stomach churning from the overindulgence, Lyden groaned.

He usually only drank enough to maintain his role as the wastrel, but

because of yesterday’s events, he’d failed to control himself.

His mind hazy, he stumbled, making his way to catch a carriage back to the dorm.

Then.

-……

-……

Lyden noticed the sudden hush around him.

Slowly lifting his head, he saw Maharet and her followers approaching some distance away.

The academy students, who had been gossiping about Lyden just moments before, now clamped their mouths shut in silence.

It was to be expected.

Maharet loathed the thought of anyone badmouthing Lyden in her presence.

The reason why tales of the wastrel Lyden didn’t circulate in social circles, often called the realm of gossip, was also

because she and her family suppressed it.

It was the only sore spot for Maharet, the so-called fairest flower of the Empire.

The story of how several of her followers, wanting to curry favor, were banished from high society after speaking ill of Lyden a few months prior, was a well-known anecdote.

Because of this, rumors also swirled that Maharet still harbored feelings for Lyden.

However, she flatly denied it, asserting she merely disliked even hearing gossip about him.

Anyway, for that reason.

Speaking about Lyden carelessly within the academy was treated as a kind of taboo.

At least in the space where Maharet was present.

“Ugh…”

Lyden tried to leave as Maharet approached, but

his alcohol-soaked body refused to obey his will.

While Lyden cursed his own body internally for a brief moment,

Maharet’s group finally reached him.

“Hahaha! Is that true, Princess?”

“Yes, I thought I was going to die. So, that’s when my father… ah.”

Maharet, who had been in conversation with her followers, also stopped, as though she had just noticed Lyden.

A pause.

Two pairs of eyes lock.

A black gaze, soaked in deep fatigue.

A red gaze, wavering faintly with awkwardness.

“……”

“……”

A fleeting moment passes.

It is Raiden who looks away first.

He lets out a weary exhale and starts walking again.

The instant the boy brushes past the girl,

Maharet sees it.

The loss and lack, shadowed on Raiden’s face.

Maharet felt something was off from that expression.

Maharet, who had been watching him all along, pretending not to, could tell that something was wrong with the boy.

His eyes, always full of arrogance and irritation,

were now pitifully broken, like a flower crushed on the ground.

Disturbed by it, Maharet, without realizing it, called out to Raiden.

“Hey…! You!”

“……?”

Raiden slightly turns his head at the girl’s voice.

His face was filled with confusion, as if he never expected Maharet to call for him.

Seeing that, Maharet belatedly realized her impulsive action.

Even if her emotions took over,

to grab his sleeve…

Her face hardens and her lips tremble slightly.

Raiden frowns at Maharet’s reaction, as if asking what the hell is going on.

“……What the hell do you want? If you have nothing to say, I’m leaving.”

Raiden roughly brushes off Maharet’s hand and starts to move again.

But his movement was quickly halted once more.

This time, because Maharet had grabbed his hand.

“You…”

“Haa… I asked what the hell was going on. Are you deaf?”

Maharet seemed to flare up at Raiden’s reaction, but.

She had no choice but to suppress it again.

His face, seen head-on after so long.

Looked so incredibly fragile.

“How utterly rude. Even amongst dukes, there is a hierarchy… How dare the Empire’s Shield, an insignificant thing, block the path of the Empire’s Sword?”

“……”

“And I said I didn’t want to see your face again. Have you gone deaf too? You really are stupid…”

Maharet, towards the boy spitting out harsh words as usual,

Asked in a small voice.

“…Are you, alright?”

“……”

Raiden’s mouth stopped instantly.

The boy’s eyes, which had been constantly downcast since yesterday, violently shook.

His head throbbed with a dull ache.

He felt a pain piercing through his lungs.

Raiden bit down hard on his lip trying to cover up the chaos, but the commotion only grew.

Are you alright?

It was a simple question.

Just a question he could usually dismiss with a scoff.

But for some reason.

That question felt incredibly burdensome.

It was like his heart sank, his thoughts stopped.

Raiden ultimately could not answer, and turned his back.

Roughly pushing away Maharet’s hand, he uttered a single line.

“Don’t concern yourself…”

“……”

And with that, Raiden began to walk towards the carriage stop.

Maharet stood in place, staring at the boy’s receding back.

.

.

.

Reaching his room, the boy silently collapsed.

The soft embrace of the bed swallowed him whole.

-……Are you alright?

The silver-haired girl.

Those red eyes that had looked at him.

That composed voice, filled with concern.

Raiden felt a splitting headache.

If he opened his mouth even a little, it felt like all his insides, along with the liquor from yesterday, would come spilling out.

The boy clawed at his hair, curling into himself.

Please, let there be no thoughts.

He just wanted to fall asleep, quickly.

“……”

But alas.

His subconscious was already playing a tape of torment.

All he could do was tremble, a thin line of shivers, as he stared at the pitch-black screen.

-This is the last time, Raiden. I, now… hic, I won’t ever… look for you again.

His beloved lord, declaring severance with a voice choked with tears.

-Brother, please… why are you doing this…

His adorable younger sister, begging with tears streaming down her face.

-……

-……

His revered father and the trustworthy head butler, watching him in silence.

-……Are you alright?

His beautiful ex-fiancee, asking about his condition.

And……

-Master, please stop… it’s okay to not be in such pain…!

His devoted maid, calling out to him with sad eyes.

“……”

Raiden, for a moment, wanted to sever his own right hand.

That hateful hand that had struck her cheek.

The impulse didn’t stop at being a mere impulse.

He pulled out a self-defense knife from inside his jacket.

And without hesitation, he slashed his wrist hard.

*Shhk!*

With the movement of the knife, dark red marks scattered onto the floor.

Color was added to the pure white blanket, and despair and rage swirled on top of it.

Raiden didn’t stop there, continuing to hack at his wrist.

*Thud.*

Tears fell.

They dotted the pillowcase with dark spots.

As if swept away by his runaway emotions, the darkness only deepened.

“Ugh… *sob*…”

Raiden suddenly felt his vision spin.

It was because he had bled too much.

Only then did the boy drop the knife from his hand.

*Clang!*

With a sharp cry, a silver mirror soaked with blood fell to the floor.

Raiden groped under the bed and pulled out a low-grade healing potion.

And he poured it onto his wrist, covered in cuts.

The action seemed all too familiar.

As if this had happened more than once or twice.

“Ah…”

The boy was.

“Aah…!!”

Broken.

“aaah!!!!!”

He wanted to die.

But he was scared.

I wanted to see my mother.

I wanted to shove a knife into my own throat.

I wanted to live.

I wanted to spew blood from my neck.

I wanted to run away.

-Run, Raiden!!

-I’m sorry… our, chil…dren…

Still.

If I closed my eyes, that scene was vivid.

The clashing of swords, surging with chilling sounds.

Your figure, soaked in the ecstasy of carnage and greed.

The pure white dress, stained the exact color of your hair.

When you pulled out the sword, painted gloriously in crimson, it slopped and gurgled from the large hole.

Your noble entrails.

I couldn’t forget any of those moments.

Even in that horrific situation, you were smiling.

So beautifully.

So endlessly benevolent.

If only you had screamed for mercy, your face contorted in pain.

It wouldn’t be this agonizing.

Your last smile, it hurt so much.

Enough to make it hard to stay sane.

“Ah, aaah!!!”

Raiden’s daily life was no different than usual.

A completely ordinary day.

The hell that had been repeating itself every day since then.

The boy finally broke down, shedding tears and screaming until he was on the verge of losing consciousness.

As if that was all he could do in this world, overflowing with misfortune.

*

“Huck…!”

Eyes snapped open.

Followed by a throbbing headache, a violent assault on my senses.

Groping for purchase in the fog of my mind, I clutched at my head.

My forehead was slick, drenched in cold sweat.

For a moment, I frowned, grappling with the question of what was happening.

Then, worried voices filtered through from in front of me.

“Oppa? What’s wrong all of a sudden? You just seemed like you were dozing…”

“Young master, are you alright…?”

Fuzzy shapes swam into my blurry vision.

A girl with crimson hair, sitting as if reclining on the couch.

Behind her, a girl with brown hair, braiding her hair.

“Raiden…?”

A blonde girl, sipping tea at a small table.

I drank in the peaceful scene, frozen in place for a moment.

My tightly clenched right fist trembled, a nervous tic.

“……”

“……Oppa, seriously, what’s wrong? Are you sick?”

Ariel was instantly on me, having realized something was amiss.

Rachel and Lucy followed close behind.

I was still frozen, panting heavily.

‘This isn’t good…’

I needed to say I was okay.

I needed to tell them not to worry.

But my mouth refused to move.

I could only twitch and let out strange moans.

And that fragile emotion…

“Young master, calm down.”

When Rachel placed her hand on my cheek, it finally shattered.

“Ah, aah…”

Her hand, warm to the touch.

The saving warmth that makes me forget the cold nightmare of just moments ago.

Sudden tears burst forth, streaming down my cheeks.

The groans, leaking out little by little, joint by joint.

Soon became a single cry, echoing through the room.

“Ugh… hiccup…”

Thank god.

It was a dream.

I really felt like I’d gone back to those hellish times.

It was just a nightmare.

The people I love.

I was so grateful that they were standing right before me.

So grateful I couldn’t stop crying.

“Ra, Raiden…”

“Oppa…”

“Young Master…”

They stood in their places, silently watching me.

How many times had I suddenly burst into tears like this, without any warning?

The first time I had a fit, they couldn’t hide their panic, making a fuss over everything.

Now, they just silently watched as I purged my past.

I reached out a wavering hand and pulled the girls before me into an embrace.

They came to me without resistance.

That sight made me sink even deeper.

“Re, Rachel… I, I… *sob*, it was… hard… I endured, though…”

“You did so well, Young Master.”

“I missed… *sob*, Mom… I thought about just dying, *sob*…”

“You really… really did so well, Young Master.”

A warm hand pats my back.

Pat pat.

Rachel, Ariel, Lucy.

The warmth of them all gently melts into my back.

I leaned into them quietly,

a little weary.

My body needed their shoulders.

And they, as if it were the most natural thing, lent them to me.

Thanks to that, I could let my guard down and sob like the world was ending.

My throbbing right wrist didn’t hurt anymore.

Only the faint scar of a nightmare remained on it.