A Dark Fantasy Spy

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Frederick would undoubtedly rank Veronica as the biggest troublemaker, but in this incident, the true chaotic elements weren’t Veronica but the four illegal immigrants.

Starting with Duke Alexandra Petrovna, who crossed the Warp Gate through bribery, followed by Lucia, Francesca, and Akande, all of whom came without passports.

From the perspective of the Government of Abas, there couldn’t be a bigger security offender (especially since the duke has a prior record for raiding an embassy), yet Abas decided to simply turn a blind eye instead of arresting these criminals.

In truth, it was closer to abandonment than forgiveness, but isn’t it said that a slight shift in words can change the meaning?

The criminal antics of these individuals, who dismiss international agreements as lightly as traffic law—specifically Section 10, Clause 4 (roughly stating, “don’t jaywalk”)—had even diplomacy experts throwing up their hands in defeat, making any complaints utterly pointless.

Since it had come to this, it would be best to treat this like a planned event, secretively hiding the illegal immigrants away somewhere quiet before eventually releasing them.

However, the task of accommodating such high-profile guests could not have just been assigned to any civil servant.

After a three-minute marathon meeting, the Government of Abas concluded that a bomb disposal expert was the right choice to deal with these state-level bombs.

In other words, they had handed the responsibility to me.

“Oh heavens! Why must I be the one to bear this trial!?”

After receiving orders to take responsibility and resolve the situation smoothly, I dashed outside and screamed at the sky.

To hand over tasks to someone just after they finish being interrogated!

And I wasn’t even responsible for resolving this mess!

Of course, if the heavens had heard, they would have surely been questioning, “What is that one saying?” as it was a series of statements that would cause even the angels to doubt their hearing. But none of that mattered. Even if one were wrongfully jailed, it wouldn’t feel as unjust as this. Wasn’t this pure slander? (It’s half-true.)

As I was lamenting and hammering the ground in frustration, a hefty hand was placed on my shoulder.

It was Akande.

“Do not be sad.”

The warrior from the desert, with a gaze deep as that of an archmage, looked down at me. As if to understand my feelings fully, he patted my shoulder and spoke gently.

“Quitting is easy.”

“…Get lost, you bastard!”

—

Episode 19 – HELLDIVERS

—

The chaotic commotion of the duke and his three companions had thrown many into trouble, and the three who suffered the most from this incident were none other than three people.

There wasn’t even a hint of danger, yet due to misunderstandings from passing citizens, Camila was reported to the press, almost moved to tears in front of the professor.

Frederick, pushed to the brink of a family rift due to his daughters-in-law’s visit, ended up being responsible for resolving the incident, even though he hadn’t instigated it.

And lastly, there was Veronica, who rushed to Abas to solve the immigration debacle caused by her lovely younger sisters, only to be thrown out at the threshold of a home.

“This is unacceptable! How could you, Colonel, do this to me?!”

The unfortunate woman, who ended up rolling in the dirt, was so wronged that she raised her voice in desperation.

Since they left the consulate, she’d been shouting her displeasure, causing quite the ruckus for no fewer than three hours.

“I told you it was urgent. I explained everything!”

“No! Regardless of how urgent it was, what do you think throwing me down the stairs was supposed to accomplish?!”

With her dignity thoroughly trampled (which was indeed true), the saint grabbed her opponent’s shoulders and shook them violently.

Of course, that opponent was me, the very person who had tossed Veronica out of the entrance.

Being hurled to the ground against your will is a deeply humiliating and unpleasant experience.

Even a dumb animal would get mad if thrown by someone. How could an intelligent being merely accept such treatment without becoming furious?

In this light, Veronica’s anger was entirely rational. The problem was that the brunt of that anger was directed at me, and Veronica’s temperament was notably volatile.

“What did I do wrong?! Why is all this happening to me?!”

The 58th saint of the order, Veronica, couldn’t handle her indignation and began pulling out her hair, barking like a dog, and repeatedly trying to jump out the window.

My account of Veronica’s antics might have been slightly exaggerated through my mental filtering (which, in technical terms, could be described as a bias). (In reality, it was rather distorted.)

Still, Veronica’s rampage today was particularly severe, and for reasons unknown, her anger was being aimed directly at me.

“I came rushing to Abas when I heard my younger sisters had caused a ruckus, and just because of a little prank, you throw me out the front door?!”

…She probably wouldn’t know.

As my shoulders and whole body were being shaken, feeling as if my soul were being squeezed out of me, I could no longer hold back and called for help.

“Priest Rebecca! There’s a rabid dog running around here; please take it away for a rabies shot—wait, why are you closing the door?!”

“Good luck with that.”

“Excuse me? Priest? …Members of the Inquisition…?”

However, the Inquisition staff called from various locations all ran away.

Before I could even finish my sentence, the Inquisition officers, led by Priest Rebecca, hurriedly shut the door and fled down the hallway in a panic.

“…….”

Of course, from the Inquisition’s perspective, there was no reason to help a foreign civil servant who had thrown the saint out. Even if they had wanted to help, there was no way to do so.

It would have been preferable to dive into a hell swarming with demons than to deal with a crazed Saint Veronica.

“Come back! You’re superiors! You should do something, at least!”

Just then, a brave foreigner decided to face the saint, proclaiming, “Do not come back!” (Believing there was a translation error is a mere misconception.)

The Inquisition officers, impressed by that display of self-sacrifice, made a swift decision to flee.

—

“…What have you done to end up in such a pitiful state?”

“Indeed.”

“The work of a great saint, I presume.”

The duke clicked his tongue, appearing genuinely sorry for my situation.

Having tasted Veronica’s wrath after so long, it truly was thick and relentless.

As she violently sobbed on my shoulder, raining punches and kicks down upon me, I could hardly escape it.

I opened my notebook, bringing my fountain pen to the page and prompting her.

“Could you describe how you came to Abas?”

Maybe it was because I stuffed tissues up my nose, but I spoke nasally.

Lucia looked at me worriedly, Francesca struggled to find her words, and Akande chuckled at my pitiful state.

Was I being viewed as someone to pity? Or was there a hint of regret?

Duke Alexandra Petrovna conjured some ice cubes out of thin air, wrapped them in cloth, and handed them to me.

“Hold this while you talk.”

“Yes.”

“Right, you wanted to know how I came to Abas? I suppose I should start from the moment I received news about the child.”

The duke filled a glass with the ice and began to slowly respond to the investigation.

About thirty minutes later.

I pressed the ice pack Alexandra Petrovna had made against my bruised face and handed the notebook, containing the inquiry results, to the Military Intelligence Agency officials.

With that, my task was done.

“…….”

Despite the protests and potential punishments, it was essential to uncover the truth, so Leonie suggested I should conduct the investigation, asking why only things like this happened to me.

I was honestly curious about that too.

“What crime did I commit in my previous life? What the—….”

As I sighed in frustration on the bench outside my accommodation, I heard the sound of footsteps approaching. When I looked up, a familiar figure emerged between the lush trees in the garden.

“Colonel?”

“Francesca.”

As she ambled along, perhaps lost in thought, looking at the sky, Francesca greeted me warmly.

With her eyes resembling violets, she looked down the path with a picturesque smile, casually taking a seat beside me on the bench.

“What a coincidence to meet you here. Do you have business in the garden?”

“Nothing much. I just paused for a moment while entering. How about you?”

“I was taking a walk.”

Francesca raised one hand, revealing a magic pipe in it.

“You can’t smoke indoors, you know. Magic herbs are no exception.”

The quality magic herb produced a soft smoke, with the finely crushed flakes burning consistently in intervals, creating a delicate layer.

After pressing the flame down with a tamper, she felt the gentle smoke tickling her nose as she removed her lips from the pipe, naturally and skillfully.

Magic herbs and regular tobacco are hard to find common ground, but watching her smoke the magic herb made me want to smoke a cigarette.

No, to be honest, I would have smoked even without Francesca. Today was a particularly happy day. Of course, that’s a euphemism.

As I stashed the lighter that smelled of oil and was puffing out smoke between my lips, she suddenly began speaking after a period of silence.

“Seems you’ve been smoking a lot lately?”

“Yes. I think so too.”

“It seems like you have a lot on your plate.”

It was a question that did away with questions. Counting the hardships of my life, about 60% were linked to the party.

Naturally, Francesca had a part in that 60%. As she watched me smoke, she asked that question, yet her lips wore a smile.

It was a hint that she probably had a rough idea of the reasons behind it.

Anyway, typical sister shenanigans. She must have learned a bit too much mischief.

“Yeah. I’m having a lot of troubles. By the way, where is everyone now?”

“Akande fell asleep early, saying traveling abroad was unexpectedly exhausting. Camila was summoned by her grandmother.”

Akande was out cold, and Camila was getting scolded by the duke.

And then Lucia was…

“Saint Lucia is… um, trying to stop her sister. You know what that means, right?”

Francesca added with an exhausted smile, and without thinking, I could fairly imagine what kind of tribulations Lucia might be undergoing.

To calm an uproarious senior, the junior saint had thrown herself into the fray. I don’t know the details, but from what I could see through the door, Lucia had headlocked her sister Veronica and leapt onto the sofa.

Should I be impressed with Lucia’s strength for being able to pin her older sister? Or should I be surprised at how wild Veronica had gotten to be caught in a headlock by a junior?

Either way, they were both a pair of individuals who didn’t belong in the realm of greatness.

I closed my eyes and simply nodded.

“There must have been quite the ruckus.”

“It’s just mundane life.”

“No, saying that’s ‘mundane’ gives me chills….”

As I reacted in disgust, Francesca merely smiled in silence.

Night had fully fallen over the garden. The Abas government had meticulously chosen this accommodation, situated near the capital.

In front lay a moonlit lakeshore, while a large mountain loomed behind. It was a prime spot in a serene area with good water and air, almost devoid of human presence.

Not long ago, numerous diplomats and information officers had been dispatched to search the building inside and out to conduct security inspections. Afterward, once the inspections were complete, they all packed up and left, leaving the place utterly quiet.

The bright moon was full.

While gazing at the silver glimmering lake, Francesca gradually opened her lips.

“I’m sorry for the commotion earlier. I should have stopped my grandmother.”

I waved my hands, signaling it was fine.

“It’s okay. It’s all in the past. Take the rest you want, after all, it’s not my money.”

“Are you planning to return home?”

“Yes, I should. My family is waiting.”

Truth be told, that was a fib. While it was true my family was waiting, the important aspect wasn’t reuniting with them but rather finding an explanation.

I had to settle down the chaotic atmosphere brought upon by my sister’s mischievous acts.

First, I needed to quickly put Ayla out cold with some alcohol or a bat, and then gather my parents, brother, and sister in one place to “persuade” them, given that Veronica’s mischief had stirred unfounded misunderstandings. I needed to resolve it before any more misunderstandings festered.

I was contemplating the most effective means of persuasion, whether it be an 8-inch monkey wrench, a baseball bat, a crowbar, or a spade.

In the midst of that contemplation, Francesca finally broke the silence, saying, “Actually, I wanted to welcome you today.”

“You?”

“Yes.”

She smiled brightly.

“We’re lovers, after all. Even if it’s fake.”

It was a fabricated relationship designed months ago to deceive an orc arms dealer. She referred to that time with a hint of nostalgia.

“Well… I know it’s silly to mention this now, but please don’t misunderstand my sister or Saint Lucia. Although my sister’s pranks can be a little—no, a lot mischievous, she certainly doesn’t mean any harm.”

“E-eh… is that so?”

“Yes. It’s just that she often gets angry over strange things.”

With a light tap, she rapped the pipe to shake off the magic herb and paused while speaking.

Francesca magically cleared the remnants and scattered flakes from the pipe and rose, concluding the conversation.

“If your sister keeps teasing you, please reach out. If you want to vent, you can talk to me.”

I gazed at her, slowly propping myself up against the bench.

“You aren’t suggesting I should stay out today, are you?”

“Of course not! You should definitely go home. Your family is waiting.”

Francesca answered with a sweet smile. Oh!

It was only then I felt relief and added with a clap of my hands.

“Then go quickly and hit Veronica for me. I want revenge for being thrown earlier.”

“No way.”

“Oh, why not?”

“Revenge is something you must do yourself.”

—

I had managed to complete my work at the company neatly, and while being told to contact them in case of any issues, I also set up communication links with Camila and the duke.

Now it was truly time to go home.

Staying longer would yield no benefits, and getting caught up in any uproar involving Veronica could lead to unnecessary chaos. Thus, disappearing like smoke was the most prudent option.

“I got you!”

“What is this?!”

Walking merrily along the path home, as I passed through the lobby of the accommodation, someone ran up and grabbed me.

It was Veronica.

“How dare you run away?!”

The saint charged at me like a tiger, kicked my chest, and then grabbed my legs like the villain from a third-rate slasher movie.

In an instant, I was abducted on my way out, dragged into her room.

What on earth was happening? Why was this Veronica, who had been subdued by Lucia, sprinting out to the lobby?

Fumbling with my words, unable to comprehend the situation, my eyes were wide as I saw a limp body collapsed on the sofa in the corner.

“Lucia. What are you doing over there?”

“…Taking a break. My sister has been causing quite a disturbance.”

Lucia said, looking utterly drained like an intern seeing their first heavy shipment.

It was clear from the sight—it seemed she hadn’t managed to subdue Veronica after all. The very same priestess who could beat cult leaders with her bare fists had failed to overpower this savage beast. Was there a more tragic scenario in this world?

“Could you… please let me go after that beating earlier?”

“No way.”

I attempted to negotiate, but Veronica scoffed, showing me her palm flat in dismissal. Her piercing, obsidian-like eyes were gleaming with an odd delight, and it seemed she wouldn’t let go of me any time soon.

Eventually, letting out a long sigh, I resigned myself to my fate lying flat on the ground.

I’d probably be pulling out a few hairs; I should start looking for hair loss treatment ahead of time. Tomorrow, I’d surely be sore from muscle pains thanks to this encounter.

“Gah—!”

Just as I anticipated the incoming pain, Lucia watched the scene unfold.

Veronica, the priestess, was sitting on the civilian’s back like a cushion, grasping handfuls of hair in both hands and pulling.

“Your sins have revealed themselves!”

“Who was the one who asked for it first—gahhh…!”

“I can’t know what happened on your end! I was just at the cathedral 15 minutes ago!”

“…….”

As Lucia pondered while propped up on the sofa regaining her energy, she reflected on that. According to what the bishop had heard, the older sister hadn’t been at the cathedral but was goofing off somewhere, caught red-handed.

To be precise, Veronica was caught while betting in the arena during the “Abyssal Crustacean Monster vs. 46-Year-Old Crabman’s Champion Title Defense,” marveling at the 187 matches with 156 wins and 31 draws, and promptly apprehended by the enforcement team.

Lucia was unaware of those finer details.

How would a junior report that their senior had been gambling in the arena? There would be no embarrassment quite like that.

A person of sound mind wouldn’t even think to gamble in the first place, and after getting caught, they should feel psychologically suppressed for at least a day. But Veronica was no one to be intimidated by something so trivial as an enforcement team.

“I can’t allow you to insult me as if I were a demon in front of my siblings, you know!”

“Even a demon wouldn’t pull your hair…!”

“Just take your punishment quietly!”

That was truly harsh punishment indeed. It was doubly cruel witnessing her older sister’s outrageous behavior.

At last, Lucia broke free from the restraints, reestablishing a headlock on Veronica, and having suffered under that wrath, I’d finally managed to take a sigh of relief and crawled my way out.

With a semi-enlightened expression, I leaned back on the sofa, even while Veronica continued her antics in Lucia’s embrace.

With a flushed face, the saint began pointing angrily at me.

“I’m not even sorry about what I did! Look at how you threw me out—”

“I’m sorry… let’s stop now—”

“Sorry isn’t enough?!”

As her mournful shout erupted, silence swept through the room as if cold water had been splashed over everyone.

Lucia, holding Veronica under her arms, and I, propped against the sofa, merely blinked at each other in disbelief.

“If I apologize, does that mean it’s over? What kind of wordplay is this?!”

“You should show some sincerity!”

“What sincerity?!”

As I began to retort in confusion at her ever-shifting demeanor, Veronica began furiously rubbing her thumb against her index finger.

Seeing that, I let out a deep sigh.

“You want money or something…?”

This situation was utterly absurd.

My long exhalation synced with the sound of Lucia thumping her forehead. Yet, unashamed, Veronica was still acting as if she were saying, “What? Do I look crazy?”

“…Sister, please.”

“Fine, fine. I’ll overlook it this time. Since it was partly my fault and both sides are at fault, I’ll let it slide.”

Veronica waved away Lucia’s somber voice like it was just a mere annoyance. She was pretending to be generous.

Even so, I couldn’t shake the suspicion that remained in my mind. Once she spoke, Veronica could twist her words like someone flipping a coin. Who knew what kind of chaos she would brew again?

“…….”

“Why are you looking at me like that? Your gaze seems irreverent.”

“…I’m leaving home now, so if you have anything to say, let’s discuss it another time. Maybe tomorrow or the day after.”

“Gee~ that won’t do! Where do you think you’re going?”

Sure enough, my suspicions proved right, and Veronica began gearing up for another scheme. The expression on my face rapidly darkened, akin to a cryptocurrency investor that had just crashed.

Maybe she sensed my tension, for Veronica’s face broke into a strange, gleeful smile as she approached.

Her obsidian-like eyes glimmered between her narrowed slits, and she leaned closer, challenging me with a confident gaze.

“Earlier, when Colonel tossed me aside, I ended up getting hurt. Just a little, though.”

“No, Veronica, you’re a priestess! Just heal yourself…”

“Ugh…! My heart was hurt, you know?”

I gazed up at Veronica’s whimsical face, feeling a nervous sweat as I diverted my eyes.

Hmm.

“I don’t really think your heart was hurt…?”

“What are you looking at?!”

In that moment, smack!—like a revelatory punishment for my unholy gaze, the saint slapped the top of my head.

While maintaining a detached gaze, I was caught off-guard by her quick and furious motion and rolled all over the floor.

Regardless, Veronica quickly lifted her body, shielding herself with a repulsed expression.

“Anyway, I want reparations for the emotional damage I’ve suffered today. So please, no funny business, and just follow my orders.”

She placed her hands on her waist, puffing her chest out as if to sound grand, yet it merely came off as an empty display.

Before I could retort saying something like, “Forcing me out to talk about this is not really required,” Veronica issued her ultimatum.

“If you try to run away again, I could always come looking for you.”

Turning the doorknob, I glanced back at her.

“Do you think I would be intimidated by such threats—”

“I’ll take your siblings with me.”

“Oh no! Saint, could you specifically explain what kind of damages you’ve endured? Like, you know, details.”

Just as I hopped up to answer her eagerly, I could see Veronica light up with anticipation for having me yield.

“Don’t worry. I wouldn’t ask anything unreasonable.”

And she added with an air of mischief.

“You might even enjoy it.”