A Dark Fantasy Spy

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Life comes with suffering.

No one lives without sorrow, and a life that continues without pain is nonexistent.

We endure countless agonies and torments as we go through life, but we live with the hope that tomorrow will be better than today.

However,

“Colonel. Speak properly when you get the chance. If things go wrong, you and I will die here today!”

“……”

Indeed, will I live to see the sunrise?

I was being swayed back and forth according to Veronica’s whims, quietly closing my eyes and letting out a sigh.

—

Episode 14 – One Religion, One Faith, Two Saints

Life follows suffering.

It has always been so.

My mother had to bear the responsibility of the household alone after my husband’s death, and my grandfather wiped the dust off the booklet containing my son’s military academy graduation pictures and my grandson’s commissioning photos.

The same goes for crises.

From Syria, Lebanon, Libya, Venezuela, China, Iran, Pakistan, Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, Israel, Turkey, to Vietnam, I’ve had life-and-death experiences often enough to fill out a blank in the personnel report every time a new overseas assignment appeared.

When I drove past a government army checkpoint in a van loaded with weapons and equipment, or when I held my breath under the deck of a fishing boat while being searched by the coast guard, those moments were no different.

There were times when I seriously worried that I might die here while stuffing a shot-up informant into the passenger seat and desperately trying to shake off the tailing vehicle, or when I was asked for a bribe by an investigator from the counterintelligence agency.

For more than a decade in the Information Agency, living on the line between life and death was no different than tightrope walking.

So much so that even the executives who brought me along for a good laugh suggested I take a step back and do desk work instead of fieldwork.

Now it has remained as a memory in a corner of my heart, but the engraved memories of pure hardship often troubled me.

Maybe the reason I accepted Colonel Clevenz’s suggestion to join as an advisor shortly after joining the Military Intelligence Agency was because of my memories of sleeping on the streets while donating blood to mosquitoes. In the end, I was once again dragged back to the field as Camila’s colleague.

But,

I can say with certainty that even all the crises I’ve gone through in the past years cannot compare to the crisis I currently face.

I rubbed my damp palms on my pants and thought inwardly.

I’m screwed.

“Colonel.”

Veronica opened her mouth.

“Yes, yes.”

“Do you know the saying that it’s easier to ask for forgiveness than to seek permission?”

The only two saints of the cult mentioned the word ‘forgiveness’.

“When others are reluctant to grant permission, those who find it hard to ask for it end up asking for forgiveness. They plan to do something first and then think about getting forgiveness later.”

“Th-that’s right.”

“It’s human psychology. No matter how many times you warn them not to do wrong and that there will be consequences if they do, when the other party makes a mistake, they usually scold them but eventually forgive them.”

“……”

The saint, symbolizing compassion, spoke of forgiveness. As I softly closed my eyes and began to take deep breaths, my chest rose significantly.

I clasped my hands modestly and lowered my gaze at the silhouette of my chest, which swelled up and then dipped down.

At that moment, just as she finished her deep breath, she spat out her words.

“Isn’t it infuriating?”

Her voice, filled with anger, scratched my eardrums.

“After all, they believed they would be forgiven and committed a wrong. In a way, that’s a sin too. Isn’t that using someone’s fragile heart to commit a sin? It means they did wrong even knowing it.”

“Y-yes, that’s correct.”

“…So!”

Bang! A pale, delicate fist slammed against the confession booth door. Veronica, who pounded the door, sat at an angle, giving me a threatening warning.

“You better tell me the truth while there’s still a bit of willingness to forgive you, Colonel. What did you do with Lucia?!”

“……”

With one arm resting on one knee, the saint’s posture of accusing me was akin to that of a gangster.

Veronica had pushed me into the confession booth and was blocking the door to prevent my escape. What was worse, she was even sitting on a chair she had somehow brought, using it as a barricade.

I couldn’t help but think of the charlatan pastor from a Netflix drama who threatened the information officer. Strangely, the composition seemed oddly similar.

The only difference was that in the drama, there were supporters who could help the information officer.

And here I was, facing Veronica all alone.

“……”

I had to find a way to escape this crisis somehow.

I had no idea how Veronica figured out how to come here.

But if I could get through this situation with a lie, then I had to do it. No, I absolutely had to.

“Go on, say something.”

Hearing Veronica’s blunt tone, I rubbed my damp palm and replied.

“Umm, the thing is…”

—

The sun set beneath the western hills, and after the dusky light in the sky completely disappeared.

Only after the bright moon rose in the center of the sky did the story conclude.

“…So.”

Veronica, who had removed her chin from her hand, began to speak.

“Are you and Lucia dating? This means you’re in a relationship, right?”

Veronica pressed for the truth, but if I were to share the ‘real’ truth, she would definitely get angry.

I couldn’t guess how she would express her anger, but I was certain it would be intense.

No matter the process, once she discovered the truth, I would be labeled as the ‘bastard who snatched away my beloved sister without a word’.

If I was going to be scolded anyway, it was better to be scolded a little less. So, I decided to just gloss over the fact that we loved each other and keep everything else hidden.

“It’s an unofficial relationship, right?”

I nodded.

“I’ve never told anyone that I’m seeing Lucia.”

“Anyone? Then what about the Military Intelligence Agency?”

She was asking if they knew. I shook my head.

No matter what, the Military Intelligence Agency must never find out that I’m dating someone. Dating a foreigner without permission is grounds for severe punishment.

Apart from that, the fact that I was involved with Lucia was something no one should know. Not only for my sake but also for Lucia’s.

Yet, I got caught.

By someone who shouldn’t have found out.

“…Hah.”

The saint of the cult, Lucia’s sworn sister, and my informant.

Veronica covered her face with her palm and groaned. It was a sigh filled with anguish and turmoil.

“How did Lucia end up with a loser like you….”

“……”

Loser? Isn’t that a bit too harsh?

I wanted to voice my thoughts, but I swallowed the words that clung to my throat.

If I misstep here, I might get beaten up like a dog and end up in the church’s intensive care unit. So, keeping quiet was the best course of action for now.

As my lips trembled in silence, Veronica found her voice.

“…Who confessed first?”

“Lucia confessed first.”

That much was the truth.

“This idiot really….”

Veronica’s face twisted at the revelation that her sister confessed first. The saint, leaning awkwardly against her chair, turned away, chewing on her lips.

“So, what did you say in response?”

That was a question I could answer without hesitation.

I replied truthfully, without a hint of a lie.

“I asked for more time to think….”

“What?”

Veronica’s head snapped around.

She reached out from her position leaning against the chair and grabbed my collar. Shaking me roughly with a fist clenched tightly, her voice rose higher.

“You asked for time to think? You piece of trash!”

“Uh… uh….”

“If she confessed first, she must have agonized over it dozens of times before bringing it up! And you rejected her?!”

“You’re being too sudden….”

“Sudden my ass. You seduced her, right? My sister didn’t come to you first—no, you lured in a naive girl and are trying to pin this on someone else now!”

…Naive girl? Who’s that referring to? Surely not Lucia?

I pondered about how I had seen Lucia in the northern regions.

“……”

No matter how I looked at it, Lucia was not a ‘naive girl’. If she was pure, that might be understandable, but she was by no means naive, and she certainly wasn’t a virgin.

At least not right now.

Of course, the moment I voiced those words out loud, I was certain Veronica would try to kill me. For the sake of Lucia’s honor and my precious life, I resolutely decided to become a scumbag.

“Lucia did confess first, but what was I supposed to do….”

“How dare you refer to my sister so casually? Are you that close?”

“…We are close.”

“But then you rejected the confession? Oh dear.”

Veronica looked at me as if I were a cigarette butt lying on the street.

She probably viewed me as a ‘whimpering bastard who seduced her naive sister.’ It was clear that Lucia’s title had shifted from ‘my sister’ to ‘my sister’ in her mind by now.

In truth, Lucia did confess first, and both of us were caught up in the moment, playing with fire, but ultimately, the truth didn’t matter.

Veronica poured out a stream of harsh words toward me.

Having gone so far as to confess, she criticized me for playing with a woman’s heart, and that I hid my relationship with Lucia from her, suggesting I must not have felt justified in my actions.

Along with remarks about my lack of awareness and the absence of basic decency.

Veronica mumbled various incomprehensible things for a while. Then, after taking a brief deep breath, she asked in a calmer voice.

“…So nothing happened between you and Lucia?”

That was an extremely calm yet threatening question.

Until now, it had been the same, but if I spoke carelessly, I wouldn’t be able to pick up the pieces afterward, and the implicit pressure in her voice was overwhelming.

So, I quickly turned my brain on full throttle and answered. An unreserved response emerged from my mouth.

“I understand what you’re worried about. I assure you, nothing like that happened.”

“……”

“Really, nothing happened, I swear!”

Despite my sincere tone, laced with even a hint of indignation, Veronica’s gaze was far from friendly.

Doubt filled her eyes.

She regarded me as if she were looking at a friend she hadn’t spoken to since high school who had suddenly called out of the blue.

Then,

“…Sigh, what can I do? My sister is an adult now… She can at least confess on her own.”

“……”

Veronica opened her arms wide.

Why is she suddenly doing this? I wondered, but she merely stared at me with a look that screamed I was hopeless.

“What are you doing, Colonel? My arms are getting tired.”

“…Uh, yes.”

Feeling uncertain, I slowly approached her. In reality, it was just a step or two further from the confession chair, but still.

As I cautiously approached her, Veronica grabbed my arm and pulled me toward her.

Before I had a chance to react, I found myself bending over, losing my center of gravity. Before I knew it, I was standing, awkwardly hugging Veronica.

Just as I tried to quickly straighten up, Veronica forcefully pulled me closer.

Her hand on my back gently brushed against my shoulder and neck, and the feel of her warm flesh pressed against my chin.

“Alright.”

The Veronica who embraced me began to slowly stroke my back.

With the tender touch reminiscent of caring for a lamb, her whispers flowed into my ears.

“If it’s true that Lucia confessed first, then she must have given it a lot of thought. It’s good to ponder, but don’t let it linger too long, Colonel. She’s more fragile than she looks.”

The saint spoke.

“You two are mature adults, and it’s not polite for a third party to intrude in a man-woman relationship, but still, my worries can’t be helped. You’ll take good care of Lucia, right?”

“…Yes, I’ll take care of her.”

“And you won’t lay a finger on her, right?”

“…Of course not. That goes without saying….”

“If you’re saying that much, then yes.”

Veronica smiled.

“I guess I’ll have to trust you.”

—

It was then.

The hand that had been stroking my head suddenly gripped my hair tightly.

“If that was true.”

With one hand, Veronica held onto my hair while her other hand reached to grasp my chest. More accurately, my shirt underneath my windbreaker.

With a brutish force, she yanked down my shirt, leaning forward, her eyes bulging as if she were about to bury her head into my torso.

The exposed skin beneath the pulled-down shirt was pure and unblemished.

“……”

The sight of unmarked skin filled Veronica’s vision.

Whether it was unbelievable or simply something she didn’t want to believe, she began to tremble as she touched that skin with a quivering hand.

The skin was clean.

No scars, no wounds.

The grotesque mark left by the demon seemed to have never existed at all.

“……”

The brown eyes and black eyes tangled mid-air. Her trembling fist gripped my collar once again, and the damp hand waved helplessly in the air.

Eventually, Veronica swung her fist.

I was pushed back, crashing into the confession booth like someone who had rolled off a cliff.

An agonizing pain shot up from my tailbone, but at the moment, I had no room to care about such things.

“…D-Die.”

I raised my arms to shield my head and curled up.

At that moment, Veronica’s thunderous scream echoed through the sacred church.

“Die, you bad bastard!!”