A Dark Fantasy Spy

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The chaotic dispatch from the Magic Tower has come to an end. Pippin and Jake have finished arranging their personal matters and are set to return to the Empire soon.

We comfortably gathered around the table, indulging in pizza.

Pippin and Jake, having dropped off their cumbersome bags, grinned as they each held a slice of pizza.

“Are you happy to be back?”

“Yes. It definitely feels good to be back. The prices at the Magic Tower have been absurd lately.”

Jake shook the hot sauce bottle a few times before handing it to Pippin. She carelessly splashed some hot sauce on her pizza and took a big bite.

munch munch

“There’s no place like home. Working at the embassy is exhausting. Why is there so much work?”

“Well, it’s an embassy, so what can you expect? Haven’t I been exhausted too? It’s always ‘analyze this’ or ‘supplement that’… ugh…”

“That’s why you couldn’t clock out.”

“Exactly.”

While they were grumbling, Pippin shuddered and frowned.

“Hey, hey, let’s not talk about work while eating. I might choke.”

I tilted my head while pouring a soft drink.

“Isn’t work all we ever talk about? I can’t remember having a conversation that isn’t about work lately.”

Jake chimed in.

“That’s because the Colonel is just a loner…”

“What?”

“Never mind.”

—

Episode 10 – Turn Northwest

—

After devouring a pizza, we quenched our thirst with the drinks we ordered. Pippin and Jake, with glasses full of ice, giggled while I pulled out a cigarette.

“Colonel, you smoke?”

“Yeah.”

Pippin looked at me, surprised, as she sipped her drink. In a world where many smoked, it wasn’t particularly odd, but it seemed my subordinates found it fascinating.

Jake remarked,

“You, who never even put a cigarette to your lips… how did you even start smoking?”

“Yeah, right?”

Thinking about it, I realized it all stemmed from the military. More specifically, it began after joining Military Intelligence. Back in college, I never even glanced at cigarettes, and during my time as a squad leader, I never visited a smoking area, so it must’ve been Military Intelligence.

“What are you doing, Colonel?”

“Me? Just taking a little break and gradually preparing for my next business trip.”

“Oh, to the Empire?”

I nodded.

Pippin continued,

“I heard from the representative that construction companies from the Empire will participate in the Magic Tower reconstruction project.”

“Weren’t those contracts supposed to go to Lushan? According to the Ministry of Finance, Patalia also seems to be gunning for it.”

Originally, the project to rebuild the Magic Tower’s infrastructure broken due to the recent protests was meant to involve the Lushan Federation and Patalia. To be specific, both countries lobbied to secure the contracts.

Now, suddenly, the Kien Empire is meddling with this?

“The officials are puzzled too. The Empire wasn’t originally included in the plans, but now that they’ve jumped in, it’s created a troublesome atmosphere for everyone.”

“That makes sense. The Magic Tower lies in the heart of the Empire.”

“But considering the northern situation, wouldn’t the Empire itself need to be focused on construction? There are countless sabotaged infrastructures like railroads, power plants, and terminals. Going to extinguish someone else’s fire while their own house is burning seems a bit nonsensical…”

When Pippin raised this question, Jake chuckled while biting into his dough.

“They say the northern regions have suffered minimal damage, right? The infrastructure might be damaged, but overall, it’s still decent enough to live in, aside from a few dead.”

“That’s just a public broadcast news. Jake, do you believe that?”

“Of course not. How could anyone trust that?”

I pondered for a moment, chewing on the stretchy cheese.

Using OSINT (Open Source Intelligence) to gather information through the media can be susceptible to propaganda, especially in countries like China, Russia, or North Korea, where state media and censorship rule the roost.

In that context, the reports from the Empire’s media regarding the northern situation likely don’t reflect the reality of the north. Naturally, Pippin and Jake probably knew this too.

However, even such propaganda-styled media must have some corners where intelligence could be extracted.

Of course, I already had a rough idea of the damage from Military Intelligence’s data.

“More intelligence is always better, right? Want to gather some?”

“You want us to? It’s our vacation, you know?”

Pippin and Jake shot me looks indicating I was nuts. It’s impressive how well they harmonize at times like this.

Yet, I never truly intended for them to collect intelligence, so Pippin and Jake shrugged it off as a joke.

While munching on a snack, Pippin sighed heavily.

“Ugh. It’s not a conversation about the Tower or the Empire.”

“Why?”

“I mean, the country is going downhill, yet neither the Oracle nor the Emperor shows their face. At least the Oracle issues statements. The Emperor hasn’t even shown up for the founding day or military day events for several years.”

“I think it’s been about two years.”

I scratched my chin.

“But the Emperor doesn’t engage much externally. He might have been active when he was younger, participating in sports and events, but after aging…”

“That’s right. He appeared at official events just a month after analyses on his health seemed to indicate problems. And he did that multiple times.”

“Anyway, it can’t be that big of a deal. The reconstruction project is probably all about money, and the Emperor hiding away isn’t anything new.”

In a dictatorship, rumors spread especially when the country is in trouble. Even if it were true, how would one uncover such information without special means?

So it’s best to refrain from speculation until something is confirmed or made official.

“But about the Tower…”

“Yes?”

“Have the health screening results come out?”

Jake shook his head, visibly disappointed. He glanced around, then lowered his voice.

“Not yet. The situation at the Tower is still pretty unstable. The Hero is… well, lacking in samples, isn’t it? Having come from another world.”

“That’s true.”

“And it seems it’ll take some time.”

Pippin chimed in. With a bright and optimistic voice, she shared some hopeful news.

“However, the Tower isn’t ignoring things entirely. They promised the results would be out within three months at the latest, maybe even this month!”

“The Advanced Military Magic Research Institute seems to be expecting around that time too. Starting research earlier than we did, how could they be slower in delivering results?”

“Well, it’s the Tower after all.”

“…True, the Tower is the Tower.”

In any case, this was good news. Perhaps we’d finally find out why Camila has been fainting. I hope for a positive result as soon as possible.

Nothing should happen that could go wrong.

“Well, since we’re on vacation, let’s drop the work talk.”

I wiped the grease from my hands with a tissue and casually remarked.

“So what are you two planning to do now that you’re on vacation? I think you both got about two weeks off.”

Pippin and Jake, who were busy poking at their salads, paused their forks. It seemed they had already had plans in the works, as they began chattering about their future schedules.

Pippin was the first to speak up. She wiped some sauce with a tissue and opened her mouth.

“Well, I want to meet a friend first.”

“A friend?”

“Yes. Someone I used to work with in the same unit is coming back to Abas soon.”

Pippin is a former naval intelligence officer.

She was dispatched across both land and sea, performing intelligence analysis and joined Military Intelligence on the recommendation of her senior officers.

“So as a naval officer, did you sail out on ships? Where are they returning from?”

“From the waters near northeastern Mauritania, off the coast of Pembé.”

“…Oh, the place known for pirates?”

“Yes. They were there a year ago, but they’re finally coming back.”

The Pembé waters can be compared to Somalia. As you can tell from the example, land rebels run rampant while pirates dominate the seas, creating a real cesspool.

Of course, it’s not just people causing chaos in the Pembé waters; land monsters, sea monsters, and types like sirens also inhabit that area, making it even worse than Somalia. Having returned from there is quite something.

“Wow, that must have been tough.”

“But once they’re back, they’ll be working on land for a while, so it should be fine. They said they’d bring back a present for me; they should be doing okay.”

It seemed Pippin planned to spend her vacation with her friend returning from deployment.

Next was Jake. As he diligently ate mashed potatoes, he finally spoke up.

“I’ve agreed to hang out with a friend.”

“Huh? You’re saying you’d hang out with a friend during your vacation?”

“Yeah, well. It’s someone who just got discharged, and I think they’ve got some money lately, so they moved to the capital. We’re planning to just chill together…”

Jake dismissed it nonchalantly, while Pippin tipped her glass toward him. Yet, Jake was atypically trailing off, indicating something might be up.

So, while tapping the ash off my cigarette, I cautiously asked,

“Hey. Just to check, you two aren’t dating, are you?”

Puff-! Cough, cough…!!

Pippin seemed to choke on her drink.

And then sprayed the beverage all over—

“……”

All over my face.

—

Cleaning the drink off my face wasn’t easy. After about five minutes of scrubbing with soap in the bathroom, I finally managed to solve that issue.

Of course, the real problem lay elsewhere.

“……”

“……”

Pippin and Jake laid their heads on the table, almost touching, like guilty criminals. The atmosphere turned awkward quickly. What on earth was happening?

“…Alright. Raise your heads, you little rascals.”

I spoke up while wiping the moisture from my face and hands with a tissue.

“Why are you acting like you got caught stealing? Anyway, the representatives already know you two are seeing each other.”

Jake lifted his head, dazed in shock as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing.

“I think there’s been some misunderstanding, Colonel. We’re not like that.”

“Come on, Jake. Didn’t you once visit the representative’s office at midnight to get the thing you forgot? That was on the night Pippin was on duty.”

“…Y-Yeah?”

“That day, the staff on night duty mentioned you two were secretly slacking off in the office. They told me.”

On the day Pippin was working overnight, Jake had gone to the representative’s office to retrieve something he’d left behind. When he took too long to return, I called security, and they confirmed that both Pippin and Jake were in a military office.

Back then, I thought maybe it was just taking him some time to look for his belongings. But the next day, an intelligence officer from the Tower branch came to scold me for not keeping my underlings in check. I had no clue and got chewed out as soon as I arrived.

Fortunately, it didn’t lead to any major issues, and the military officers kept quiet, but my face burned with embarrassment.

“Well, that’s when you got caught, dude. Thanks to that, I couldn’t lift my head for a while.”

I grumbled as I tossed the soaked butt into the trashbin.

“……”

“……”

Pippin and Jake were sweating profusely, keeping their mouths tightly shut. Their eyes were wide, seeming as if they were about to pop out. It was like a married man caught in an affair, wanting to keep a secret.

Of course, no one would scold them for dating at work, and the intelligence agency was rather supportive of workplace relationships, but humans can’t withstand embarrassment.

Jake, eyes tightly closed as if trying to block out reality, started rambling without realizing his sweat was dripping.

“Um, Colonel. I think there’s been a misunderstanding…”

“Go on and spill it, Lieutenant.”

“Things were just really busy back then. The staff must have misinterpreted what they saw while I was helping out.”

“So you mean nothing happened?”

“Y-Yes. It was just that things were hectic at that time. You know, what with the protests causing chaos at the representative’s office. They’re still buried in recovery work due to that…”

Jake was stuttering, doing everything he could to shift the blame. But flustered, he struggled to keep up his defense.

In the end, unable to hold back any longer, Pippin jumped in to support him.

“That’s right! Because of the protests and ongoing projects, we were pulling all-nighters, you know. Hahaha…”

“……”

“……”

“Okay. If you say so, then I’ll take it as that.”

Only in your imaginations, I guess.

I poured myself a drink from a new cup. At that point, they hadn’t made it a big deal in the military office either, and I didn’t particularly care to scold them, so I decided to drop the subject.

Recognizing the turn of events, Pippin and Jake hurriedly changed the topic, as they seem so quick-witted at such times.

Wiping his cold sweat away with his sleeve, Jake was the first to pitch in.

“By the way, Colonel, didn’t you mention you were going to receive a medal? You said there might be a reward when you returned. Did you get it?”

“No.”

“Ah… why not?”

When I was working at the Tower, Colonel Clevenz had mentioned I would receive a reward. It was for successfully completing three operations in a row.

Of course, with my promotion to Major this year, it wouldn’t make sense to be awarded the rank of Lieutenant Colonel again, so I decided on a medal instead. The issue was that the medal was pulled back when I was referred to the Disciplinary Committee.

Though considered casual, this disciplinary was necessary to properly address any potential double agent issues. So before the hearing concluded, what good would it do to hand me a medal? How would a spy interpret that?

Thus, once the Disciplinary Committee convened, the Military Intelligence Agency canceled any scheduled awards without hesitation. Honestly, I didn’t feel too heartbroken about it. Just mildly regretful…?

But explaining all this felt too frustrating, so I simply mumbled an answer.

“Things fell to pieces after a major incident.”

“Ah….”

Just then, news conveniently played on the TV. A government official, dressed sharply, was announcing a commotion in the middle of the capital as an act of terror committed by stateless individuals.

Pippin and Jake exchanged glances, recognizing something was amiss.

“……”

I turned my gaze from the TV and popped a new cigarette into my mouth.

At that moment, a staff member trotted over and politely stopped me.

“Excuse me, sir. I’m sorry, but you need an ashtray if you want to smoke at your seat. It poses a fire hazard.”

“Ah, sorry. Do you happen to have an ashtray?”

“Yes. Would you like me to bring one?”

“No, it’s fine. I’ll get it myself.”

I gave a sheepish smile and stood up from my seat.

Apologizing to the staff, I decided to tip them and ordered new food. The staff beamed and said to wait just a moment, as I left my table to retrieve the ashtray.

“Let’s see. An ashtray….”

I found one.

As I spotted the ashtray tucked in a corner of the store, I set off to return to my seat.

-Bang!

“Oh!”

“Aah!”

I collided with someone head-on.

I lost my balance after bumping into the person approaching from the side, and they fell, landing on their backside and letting out a quiet scream. Something sticky splattered onto my clothes. Given the sweet scent, it was likely honey mustard.

Getting sauce on my suit was infuriating, but that wasn’t the priority. I needed to check if the person I bumped into was alright. The silhouette looked like a child.

I hastily dusted myself off and reached out to help the little one up.

“Ah, sorry there, kid….”

“Where do you think you’re walking, making a fool of yourself at your age…! Have you no sense of shame?!”

“Uh…?”

“…Huh?”

Orange hair. Pointy, triangular ears. Sparkling eyes. A childlike high-pitched voice, and the Inspection Office.

“What are you doing here…?”

What on earth is this child doing here.

—

Not many know this, but there’s a rather special employee working at the Military Intelligence Agency’s Inspection Office.

They could be considered a sort of mascot. Just like how people gossip if an attractive medic works in the medical team.

It wouldn’t be odd to say that the staff working in that department are exceptional, but this particular employee is an exception to that rule.

And the reason is simple.

Because they’re not human.

The nymph Charnoy from the Inspection Office.

The assigned inspector just appeared before me.

Out of the blue.

“Ah! You…!”

Charnoy’s eyes widened, pointing at me and exclaiming. The loud voice startled me too.

“Pr….”

“……?”

“Pre….”

“……?”

“What was it again…?”

Charnoy stood there, staring blankly, muttering softly. In astonishment, a sigh escaped my lips without me realizing it.

Charnoy looked troubled, scrunching her face as if deep in thought, making unintelligible sounds like “Ugh….”

“……”

“Ah! It’s come to me…! You were that embezzler!”

“……”

Should I confirm that as true?

Strictly speaking, I did indeed embezzle, but was that truly worth getting punished for? Not that I had ever formally been investigated for embezzlement, so it wasn’t entirely incorrect.

Charnoy, who was previously pointing at me, had suddenly soured, muttering in disappointment.

“However, this Charnoy… is short on sugar and can’t recall your name….”

What do sugar and memory have to do with each other? I can’t comprehend.

Could it be she’s also not very bright?

“But that’s a closed case… bringing up punishments from the Disciplinary Committee goes against the principle of double jeopardy! Thus, this Charnoy will treat you as a regular employee…!”

“Charnoy. Anyway, nice to see you. But what are you doing here?”

“I’ve come to meet a friend!”

“A friend?”

Charnoy nodded energetically.

“An old friend is returning from abroad today… it’s truly an emotional moment! I’ve promised to share a meal with them immediately upon their arrival….”

“Oh.”

“Of course, if they were a staff member, a debriefing would have to take priority, making immediate contact impossible… but friends are civilians, so it doesn’t matter!”

It seems an acquaintance of hers spent a long time abroad before finally returning. Given Charnoy’s age, they must have either gone to study for some advanced degree or traveled for business, or perhaps vacation.

I feel slightly envious. I wish I could comfortably go abroad for a trip myself.

As I contemplated, Charnoy, who was brushing off the dust from her clothes, suddenly spotted something and raised her hand high.

“Ah, finally…! Charnoy’s friend has arrived!”

She jumped in place before dashing out. I turned to see the child she was greeting.

Having worked in a hot environment, their skin was slightly tanned. They wore shorts and a T-shirt.

Their fur, luxuriantly black. Small, vertically slit green pupils.

Their ears were carefully shaped, resembling distinctly equilateral triangles but were much more pronounced than Charnoy’s.

“Long time no see…!”

“Meow.”

“…Cat Beastman?”

The harbinger of misfortune had arrived.