A Bright and Shiny Life

Alan’s carriage is much nicer than the Grahm’s, with better cushions and enchantments against bumps, controlling the temperature and to block all sounds from leaving it. More importantly the seats recline. Only about ten degrees, but even that much is a vast improvement to the ninety-degree nightmare of the Grahm’s ride.

I didn’t really get a sense of the city when I first made my way to his office since my mind was too preoccupied with the upcoming meeting. Was it safe, how could I impress him, how can I know if he’ll lead me well? But now I get a better look, with those questions moved farther back in my mind.

The city is, unsurprisingly, huge. The city of a million dreams they say– dreams of course being a stand in for people. We move from one rich area, through a gate in the city’s wall network into a poorer one, and then through another gate into another wealthier one, but less so than the first.

I wonder why the city has so many walled sections, since any army that so much as reached the exterior walls would no doubt mean the imminent collapse of the empire. Surely the money spent on the costly walls could be used elsewhere, though I suppose the empire has never been lacking in military budget.

Everything is crowded, but the streets and buildings are clean even in the poorer areas. No doubt there are districts where that will change for the worse. I see vendors and porters, all in well maintained clothing. Hardly any beggars, which is either a sign of economic prosperity, a dedicated area for the poor, or routine purges.

The buildings vary greatly, going from stone, often smooth marble in the wealthy area, to bricks and sometimes wood structures in the lower sections. Even the cheapest looking buildings have a sense of order to them though. The paved roads may be smoother in the rich areas, but they are still paved in the poor.

“Here, wear these.” Alan says, handing me a thin chain necklace and a porcelain full face mask. “The chain is like those commonly worn with holy symbols, so having it just visible under your tunic might explain your enhancement to the observant. For the mask, the servants know to be quiet, but you should keep your face hidden around them just in case until I can make you presentable for my larger residences.”

“Won’t they question serving a masked individual?”

“It won’t be the first time. Usually, they assume the guest is my secret lover, since I keep the place for hidden rendezvous.”

“I’m not sleeping with you, even to sell a cover.” I say drolly.

He laughs. “Don’t worry, we won’t have to do much to sell it. We’ll have connected rooms, so they’ll just assume we’re visiting each other in the night. Your size is a problem since I’m not known to court children, but they’ll likely assume I’ve just fallen to a new depravity.”

“… Whatever, so long as the room has a bath.”

“A very good one, I assure you. Magical even.”

“Then I’m satisfied.” I say, slipping the mask on as we pull up to a gated three storied house with a secluded feel.

There are four servants, but I don’t bother to learn their names. Alan takes us up to our rooms on the top story with instructions not to disturb us until dinner. One of the servants blushes.

“Well, first thing first, let’s fix that butchered hair. Sit down there, will you?” He says, pulling out some scissors and a wash basin that magically fills with warm water. “How do you want it?”

“… I’m most comfortable with it mid length.” I consider having it shorter, but decide I like how it feels as I soak it in hot water. Besides, I doubt there’ll be anyone grabbing me by it while I’m here.

“I’ll just cut a few inches then. Do you mind if I choose the style?”

“I wouldn’t know about that anyways.”

He’s started cutting before I answered. He’s clearly practiced in doing this, though I can’t imagine how often he does it. Perhaps it’s just a side benefit of his absurdly enhanced coordination.

…The last time someone cut my hair was nearly half a year ago. We were ‘thawing’ as Gebal said, picking up our activity after a harsh winter– though we never truly stopped except for blizzards. My weather divinations became vital and was the only thing keeping us moving.

I don’t know why Gebal decided to cut my hair then, but he said he should for spring. Something to do with a planting ritual that we were in no position to perform. I think he just wanted to bring back memories. He was tender about it, and it made me feel a comforting warmth.

Alan is much less tender about it, preferring efficiency and precision, though he is by no means brutal. There’s little of Gebal’s warmth. About fifteen minutes later my hair is cut and styled– very neat with a slight but eye-catching asymmetry in length.

“Excellent.” He says, admiring me as I turn around. “I really should do this more often. The human body is one of the best mediums. Now onto the clothes.”

He pulls out a measuring string, and starts with my torso and arms, but pauses suddenly.

“I’m sorry to ask, but it’s kinda hard to tell what you’re going for. You are a boy, right? I assumed you are, but I just realized your style could be described as ‘practical asexual’, so I don’t want to assume.”

“…Yes, a boy, I suppose.”

“You suppose? You mean you don’t know?”

“…I have the biologically associated parts, but gender somewhat confuses me.”

“You mean you have trouble telling genders apart?”

“Sometimes, but that isn’t what I mean… In the cult we didn’t have gender signifiers in our clothing. We all just wore the same figure concealing robes. Likewise in the cell, while we had members I were told were women, I never really understood what distinguished them. Neither group divided labour based on gender either. Acolyte tasks were given to acolytes, and everyone fought the empire just as fiercely. I’m well aware of the anatomical differences, but I don’t understand why they would result in the differences I witnessed when I encountered broader society, so I mostly just ignore it unless it’s somehow obvious to me.”

“Well, that’s a bit more complicated than I can get into right now, but I guess I’ll just have mostly neutral clothes made for you with a hint of the masculine. Luckily renouncing one’s gender is in fashion right now, especially with knights, and some mages who view themselves as their paths … Would you like a sex change?”

“…Aren’t those expensive?”

He shrugs. “For a peasant maybe, but even they can typically save up for one. I know a few mages who will do the ritual for a medium gold. A few more will do it for free as part of a divine contract, but we don’t qualify since we can afford the normal rates.”

“…Thanks, but… I don’t have a strong sense of identity tied to my current parts, but I am used to things as I am, and I wouldn’t want to disorientate myself before the exam.”

“You sure? It’s best to do it sooner if possible, and it’s completely reversible if you don’t like it. It’s just an hour long ritual lying in an array of symbols with someone chanting over you and then you’re a woman with a fully functional reproductive system. You don’t have to choose female either. You can be both, or neither. Feminine presenting hermaphrodites are popular since the empress became one twenty odd years ago.”

“Maybe, but I think I’ll stay for now. Perhaps I’ll experiment later.” Part of me wants to do it just to spend coin, but I force discipline on myself. “Maybe if gender becomes a bigger part of my experience, I’ll have a strong desire to be something else. For now though, I’ll just stay as I am.”

“All, just let me know if you change your mind.” He says without a sense of pressure, then finishes measuring me. “All right. I’ll go to an adequate tailor to get you some clothes ordered. The bath is over there, since you asked about it. You should be able to figure out the enchantments yourself but ring this bell if you need anything. Just make sure you wear your mask.”

It’s odd. I get a sense that he wanted me to choose, but really had no opinion on what the best choice would be– just providing the option was sufficient for his goal, though I have no idea what that could be.

But I almost feel that because I chose to remain male that I can’t help but think of myself as a male whereas before there was only the concept of myself. Why he would want that to happen (or if it was even his goal) is unknown, especially since he made it clear that changing to a completely neutral sex was an option.

…Well, it’s not like that’s the only thing that I don’t quite understand about him.

With that dismissal of thought I quickly go to the bath and find the biggest and nicest tub I have ever seen. Big enough for a tall man to lie fully in the bottom with magic symbols to generate and heat water, as well as a traction symbol to avoid slipping and help keep a comfortable sitting position. There is also a sort of desk that goes over the tub with an enchantment to keep whatever is on it dry and prevent it from falling in, so there’s no need to have an attendant standing by to turn the page.

I hope the tub wherever I end up staying at is this nice. Presumably Alan splurged on this for the comfort of his lovers that he brings here, so it’s conceivable that the ones he has at his regular places aren’t as nice.

I fill the tub with water as hot as possible and dump several bottles of bath additives based on smell. How much is too much? Do people generally apply smells to themselves based on normal perception or enhanced? I obviously want normal people to be able to smell the pleasant scents, but I don’t want people with heightened noses to be overwhelmed. I’ll have to ask Alan, since he likely has a lot of experience on that issue.

It's odd thinking that I would even want to apply scents to myself, as I spent the last three years avoiding doing just that to not be tracked by knights. However, the oils the servants poured into the bath while I stayed at the Grahms were delightful. I would have told them not to if I noticed in time, but now I seek it out. I hop slightly up and down in anticipation of each new scent added as it expands to fill the room, telling myself that it’s to blend in my new environment but knowing I’ll miss it if I ever have to take a bath without them now.

The water, even on full heat, is disappointingly cool, so I manually heat it up to boiling with lesser firestream then hop in with only my heat resistance belt on, it still being shrunk to a choker. Everything is wonderful. I scrub a little then just let myself relax as I read through the material on the desk using the light from a large stained and blurry window.

I start with the folio containing my new identity. Malichi Monhal, only child of Elizabeth and Timothy Monhal. Holds a very isolated barony whose only settlement is on top of a near inaccessible mountain on the former Caethlon border. Elizabeth held the title and authority, while Timothy was a squire who failed to become a knight and married Elizabeth to get away from the central politics, and because she was also a squire who failed to achieve knighthood.

Elizabeth was a Viscount before the war, but due to her territory’s extreme isolation she lacked friends at court and so was overlooked in the planning for the initial conquest and didn’t take part. As such she was unable to earn territory and was automatically demoted to baron once her land was no longer on the border.

The family history is short, having been established only a hundred years ago in the war that expanded the empire to Caethlon’s borders. During that time the Monhal family performed their duty of maintaining a mountain fort adequately, with a few border skirmishes over the last century. It’s not a glorious history by any means, but it’s enough to have established their reputation as being ‘martial’.

Trade in the territory is hard, especially since the path to the settlement is blocked by snow for about half the year. However continued life there is dependent on it as farming on the mountain is difficult. The main source of income is from a small iron mine, which they smelt themselves. They also make weapons, but the input of iron (little as it is) is more than their smithies can handle, and so they mostly sell iron as ingots rather than making them into goods.

Finances are a mess. The total population of the territory is only about a thousand. Taxing the people amounts to about 150,000 raem a year, or about 430 a day. The daily amount is less than I made on the boat, and the total is less than twice my current available funds. Even without including the bonuses from the renegotiation and bounties I would have made about a quarter of their daily direct tax revenue, and I don’t have to maintain a mountain fortress with a few dozen soldiers.

Most of the revenue came from trade tariffs on selling the iron and weapons. Prices for their goods had been good the last three years and so they made about four times as much as the direct taxes, but that was still only enough to pay off their debts accumulated from the decades prior. Now that war prices are over, they would have had a hard time staying out of debt again.

With this in mind, they had intended to petition the court for permission to reduce the standard of maintenance on their fortress, with the argument that the automatic demotion should come with a reduction of duty. However, we obviously don’t intend to follow up on that, both because it would attract attention and because it might be useful to have a fully maintained mountain fort for future rebellions.

The rest of the folio is on family relations, and any nobles who visited in the past decade or so. Fortunately, no noble has come around since the start of the conquest, so even if I encounter someone who ‘met me’, enough time has passed to explain any differences in appearance and me not recognizing them. I still memorize the names though, if only so I know who to avoid.

Setting the folio aside I move on to studying for the exam. I focus on learning animal communication, then move on to mundane subjects when I feel stuck on that. I memorize some pictures in the new anatomy and herbalism books then move on to history.

Sadly, the books I purchased in Tibrous are quite small, so I end up finishing them… the itching, it’s gone.

I felt the itching mitigate when I first got into the relaxing hot water, but it didn’t go away completely. Only distracting myself with learning in combination with the bath seems capable of fully banishing it. I’m tempted to test this by getting out, but find I have no desire to do so. Instead, I ring the bell and put the mask on.

A servant rushes into the room, blushing when they see me in the bath. Odd, I thought servants were supposed to be used to seeing people naked, and there are too many bubbles to see anything anyways. I guess since a bath attendant isn’t necessary for this self-filling/heating safety tub, and they don’t normally dress Alan’s secret guests they aren’t used to it.

“I noticed there was a small library on the way in. Please retrieve any history books from it you can find.” I say, trying to disguise my voice.

“… I can’t read ser.”

“Can any of the servants?”

“Not that I know of.”

“…Then just bring me books at random. I’ll tell you when to stop.”

“Yes ser.” They say before dashing out of the room.

A few hours of pleasant reading passes before Alan returns.

“Why is half the library in here?” He says, stopping in.

“Your servants are illiterate.” I say without glancing from my book (I must admit imitating the frozen cream lady gives me a very smug feeling (not that I forgive her)). “Why doesn’t this tub get hotter? I had to reheat it myself three times already.”

“It’s set to reach 85% of boiling, which should be more than enough.”

“Not really.”

“…Well, it’s good that you’re taking studying for the exam seriously. Would you like your dinner in the bath?”

I stare at him in shock. That’s a thing people do here? Truly the empire is the height of culture.

“…Yes please.” I say after schooling my face and returning to my book… his book I suppose.

I hear his smirk as he leaves to fetch my meal. He comes back a few minutes later with a tray bearing a plate of steaming meat and vegetables, two glasses, a bottle of wine and a pitcher of magically refilling crisp clear and cold water.

“Since you’re studying, I’ll keep the wine for myself.” He says pouring himself some and sitting down in a folding chair after placing the rest on the tub desk. Taking a gulp with a satisfied sigh he pulls out a thin folio and hands it to me.

“While I was out, I took the liberty of handling your initial registration for the exam.” He says as I leaf through the papers. “I’m somewhat familiar with the structure, but it’s best to know the details sooner than later. It’s a lengthy affair that takes place over eleven days to test the applicants in as many areas as possible. The folio is a list of the various tests and potential times for them. Three of them are mandatory, you’ll have to choose the rest yourself.”

“Why do the entries have a negative number next to them?” I ask.

“That’s how many points you’ll lose if you take them and get nothing right. Each test is worth a maximum of a thousand, but getting a hundred is considered good. The only exception is for magic and combat related ones which don’t have a max. Getting less than 1000 total points before the interview at the end is an automatic fail. Less than 3000 is also an auto fail unless you get more than 500 in a non-combat non-magic field. More than 10,000 is an auto pass. Otherwise, your points are just a guideline for your acceptance, with the deciding factor being an interview at the end, though very few people with more than say 7 or 8 thousand don’t get in, and few with less than 5000 do.”

“Are there many who don’t meet the required 1000 points?”

“A few each year, almost always mundanes since magic related tests are the easiest to score points in. About 70% fail to make the 3000 and auto fail that way.”

“They don’t realize they don’t have a chance beforehand?”

He shrugs. “The exam is free by imperial mandate so they might as well. Besides, getting more than 300 points in a test gets you a certificate and licence you can use to gain employment in that field. So, lots of people use it that way even if they know they don’t stand a chance. Admin is more than happy to let them since they receive a stipend to run the exam, and some tests benefit from having a large number of applicants like the group combat ones.”

“I see… Why are Math, History, and Law mandatory?”

“I think the idea is that those are the three things necessary to be a… I guess virtuous citizen. If you fail to get a positive score on any of them then that’s also an auto fail since they don’t want to teach anyone who fails to meet their standards of citizenry.”

“Law is a bit of a problem since I grew up in Caethlon’s legal system.”

“I figured that was the case. Normally people in your situation can file for an exception, but that would be admitting your circumstances. Don’t worry though, the standard isn’t very high, and I’ll focus on getting you where you need to be when I’m teaching you.”

“You’re teaching me yourself?”

“Of course, after all we can’t let a hired tutor know how ignorant you are of things any noble should know. Don’t worry, I pride myself in being able to hold a conversation in any subject. I have a good reputation as a man of knowledge… well some people call me a dilettante, but they’re mostly jealous. I’ve tutored my fair share of noble brats, and I assure you will be hard pressed to find a better general teacher. But you can always find a specialist if you exceed me in an area after you learn to properly impersonate a noble.”

I find it hard to accept his claims to competence given his rakish behaviour, but I suppose I thought the same thing about his fighting ability.

“All right then.” I say, deciding to give him a chance. “I’m having some trouble understanding some of the terms for the treaty that ended the third Arkothan–Hycliad war. Particularly the part concerning the island Principality of Rohdam. It acknowledges that Rohdam remains both the empire’s protectorate and Hyclion’s tributary, but I thought the cause for the war was that those two relationships were incompatible.”

He smiles. “You’ll find if you study history more closely that there is seldom a ‘singular cause’ for any war. Really the Rohdam situation was just the final cause that set off a whole series of tensions between us. The war was inevitable, that island was just an excuse. In fact, some people say Rohdam intentionally started the war in a bid for independence from both of us. The treaty does have some clauses intended to relieve future tensions though.”

“I see. I don’t suppose you could get me a copy of the full treaty to read?”

“Why? I doubt there will be a question about the details of the treaty, so the summary should do. It was a major war, but it was thirty years ago and is only our third most recent treaty with them.”

“I’m just curious. Besides, who knows, there might be something that I can tie it into.”

He shrugs. “Fine. Your clothes will be ready in 5 days, and we’ll go to my main town house after that. I should have a copy of it there. In the meantime, I’ll teach you what I can… I would prefer to teach you out of the bath. Have you been in there the entire time I was gone?”

I nod. “It helps my um… condition, and besides I like it.”

He sighs. “Fine. But I do insist we do some lessons out of it. Combat obviously. Go over the folio and circle the exams you’re interested in taking. I’ll get you a pen and notebook for studying. Give me the list before bed and I’ll try to put together some tests to see where you’re at tomorrow. From there we can figure out a schedule.”