What If… Harry Potter

Petunia opened the front door of her house to retrieve the day's milk and gasped when she saw the bassinet. It had a bundle inside and a letter on top. Her eyes scanned the area and no one else seemed to be around and none of the neighbour's curtains were opened, so she knew she was completely unobserved.

She picked up the basket and carried it inside and set it on the kitchen table. She opened the letter and read that her sister had been killed and the bundle was her nephew that had been dumped on her doorstep. She hadn't spoken to her sister in years and now she was stuck with her brat because she was the only family it had left.

Petunia sighed and moved the blanket just enough to get a good look at the freak, sure he was going to be just as hideous as his father, and caught her breath. The boy's angelic face was the cutest thing she had ever seen in her life. She wanted to pick him up, cuddle him, and never let him go.

When Petunia eventually decided she could fight off that feeling, she had already been holding the boy for half an hour and had kissed his chubby cheeks more times than she could remember. She finally put him down to get breakfast started and her arms ached to scoop him back up once more.

It took Petunia another ten minutes to decide that she could make breakfast with one arm.

*

Five year old Harry Potter went to school for the first time with a group of three girls around him. His brother Dudley looked on proudly and his friends made sure none of the other boys bothered his adopted brother.

As soon as Harry stepped on the school's grounds, there were multiple squeals of delight and he and the three girls were swarmed by twenty more little girls. They cooed, pet, grabbed, and caressed Harry as much as they could with so many of them around him. Funnily enough, none of them fought or tried to push the others out of the way, as if they all instinctively knew they would get a turn.

The homeroom teacher looking over the schoolyard laughed under her breath at the scene and thought the clever boy had brought a toy or a cute pet to get attention. It wasn't until the bell rang that the group came over to the door to enter the school that she caught sight of Harry with her own eyes and understood. Harry himself was the source of the cuteness!

Mrs. Haversham scooped the boy up and gave his cheek several kisses as she carried him inside with all the girls huddled around them. They went to the assembly hall and class assignments were announced. Half of the girls were saddened that they wouldn't be in Harry's class until he said they had recess and lunch together. The girls cheered. The boys laughed because they couldn't be mad at someone so cute.

*

By his eleventh birthday, Harry had 23 girlfriends and all of them regretted that he would be going to a different school than them. He gave each of them a kiss on the lips and said he would always remember them and that each and every one of them were special. They all cried happy tears and hugged him tightly.

Even though Petunia sent a letter to Hogwarts about Harry not knowing anything, they still sent Hagrid to bring him around Diagon Alley. The large half-giant didn't seem particularly moved by Harry's cuteness, probably because Hagrid's personal definition of cute referred to dangerous beasts.

Harry Potter caught everyone's eye and they all came over to greet him. Surprisingly, they were all respectable and didn't crowd him as the men shook his hand and the women gave him hugs and a few kisses on the cheek. Harry was used to the attention and greeted everyone kindly, which made all of them look at him even more favorably.

It took them nearly an hour to make it to Gringotts Bank and Harry retrieved some gold from his vault. He wasn't really surprised by the amount of gold inside, because he knew his parents loved him just as much as his aunt did, if not more. They wouldn't have left him destitute. He also took out a bunch extra and converted it to British pounds to give to Petunia for raising him so well.

Madam Malkin pulled him into a tight hug as soon as she saw him and cooed that she would give him her best work, since he deserved nothing less. Harry laughed and kissed her cheek before he thanked her for being so nice. The older woman blushed at this and ushered him to the back where the fitting room was.

Harry stayed perfectly still for her and Madam Malkin praised him for being so cooperative and suggested he wear a set of generic robes for the rest of his trip for supplies. Harry graciously accepted and left the shop with a promise to return in an hour to retrieve his school things.

The rest of the shopping went by quickly, even buying his wand. Ollivander was too struck by the boy to do his usual song and dance and just handed him the wand that Albus Dumbledore wanted the boy to have. Harry accepted it and wind and golden sparks came from it.

With his school trunk full of things, Hedwig flying back on her own, and with a few presents for his family, Harry left Diagon Alley behind and returned to Privet Drive when Hagrid dropped him off.

Petunia hugged Harry tightly and whispered how much she had missed him, then she nearly fainted when he handed her several thousand pounds and thanked her for letting him be a part of her family. Harry laughed and laughed as Petunia pretty much assaulted him with hugs, kisses all over his face, tickles, and snuggles.

*

“Make sure you follow all the rules and don't get caught out of bed after curfew.” Petunia advised Harry as she knelt on a knee and hugged him.

“Okay, Auntie. I won't get caught.” Harry said with an innocent smile.

Vernon and Dudley laughed and shook their heads.

Petunia huffed and smiled back. “You are to write every week and we'll pick you up at Christmas.”

Harry nodded and gave her another hug. He let her go and shook Vernon's large hand, then turned to Dudley and they did their secret handshake that wasn't much of a secret, since everyone knew they did it.

“Later, Big D!” Harry said and pushed his cart with his trunk on it.

“Bye, Harry! I want pictures of any nice birds you see!” Dudley said and waved.

“That's my Dudders.” Vernon said, proudly.

Petunia lightly smacked the both of them and they laughed.

Harry walked through the platform entrance and saw the large steam engine. The platform was fairly crowded, so no one really noticed him as he made his way to the train and loaded his trunk onto it and picked up Hedwig's cage. He easily found an empty compartment and stood on the seat to put the trunk and cage on the luggage rack.

The door of the compartment slid open and there were two gasps. Harry was quite used to that reaction, so he smiled at the brown haired girl and the strawberry blonde girl as he opened his arms.

“EEEE!” The two girls let out and dove across the compartment and into his arms.

Harry held in his laugh as both girls did their best to comb his messy hair with their fingers. “I'm Harry.”

“Susan.” The strawberry blonde said and her eyes stared into his.

“Hannah.” The brown haired girl said next.

There was silence as the two girls snuggled in and kept combing his hair and petting him.

“You're Harry Potter!” Susan said when her hand pushed Harry's bangs aside and revealed his faded lightning bolt scar.

“Have been all my life.” Harry joked and Hannah giggled.

“So, you know...” Susan started to say.

“Yep. My Auntie told me all about what she knew when I was old enough.” Harry said. “I'm just Harry, though. Cuddle Bunny, Extraordinaire.”

Both girls giggled and blushed a little, then both gave his cheek a kiss.

“What was that for?” Harry asked, not that it mattered. He always accepted kisses when they were offered.

“You saved us. If it wasn't for you, You-know-Who would have taken over.” Susan said and looked sad. “I... I lost...”

“Shh.” Harry said and looked into her eyes to see a familiar loss there. He leaned in and gave her a tender kiss on the lips. “I lost my parents, too.”

Susan looked surprised for a moment and saw the same loss in his eyes, so she leaned back in as she closed her eyes and pressed her lips to his and hugged him tightly. Hannah stared in shock as her best friend kissed a boy she had just met. She also felt a little envious, because that boy was not fighting it or trying to push her friend away, even though they didn't know each other.

They broke the kiss and looked deeply into each other's eyes for several seconds, then Susan's eyes darted to Hannah. Before she knew what was going on, Hannah was in Harry's arms and being kissed the same way. Her envy died a quick death and her blush was epic, because she really, really liked kissing Harry.

It wasn't long before Hannah's turn was over and Susan took her place. Hannah wasn't jealous, though. She knew she would get another turn as soon as Susan was done of her second turn and then her lips were occupied and she no longer bothered to think about anything.

*

Hermione walked down the moving train, a little frustrated, because she was looking for a disgusting toad for a nervous boy. She had only agreed because it would give her a chance to meet new people and maybe make new friends. The prospects weren't looking good, however. Almost no one liked being interrupted when she knocked on their compartment and asked about a toad.

She sighed and stopped at the next compartment and completely forgot to knock as she opened the door without being invited in. “Has anyone seen a...” She stopped talking and stared as a really cute boy kissed a strawberry blonde girl like they were married, then her mouth dropped open when he turned and hugged and kissed the other girl sitting beside him.

It wasn't the sight of them kissing that had stopped Hermione in her tracks. It was the fact that she wanted to be next. She thought he was cute enough that she would accept any circumstances to be hugged and kissed like that, too. Almost as if he had heard her thoughts, the cute boy broke the kiss and turned his head to look at her.

His brilliant green eyes caught Hermione like a bee with honey and he gave her a smile that would have meant something much different if they had been older. “I'm Harry.”

“I'm yours!” Hermione exclaimed and dove on him as she smashed her lips to his. She tried to repeat what she had seen her mom do to her dad and was shocked when Harry's arms went around her and he kissed her back in the same way. She ignored the giggles from the other two girls, because she was in heaven.

Hermione completely forgot about looking for the frog as she happily joined in the kiss rotation.

*

Harry tried to keep the three girls with him as they walked down the small path to the boats. Petunia had told him the small boats only allowed four passengers and he didn't want his new girlfriends to be separated or left out. He also tried to ignore the almost hungry looks on the faces of the other girls. He knew that he couldn't do what he did at his old school and make them all happy, because he was only one boy.

The trip across the lake was quick and he barely noticed the castle, because he was hugging and kissing his girlfriends. He tried to not draw attention to himself as they went up the stairs and they reached the doors. An older woman was there and gave them all a stern look until she saw Harry. Her face changed to a smile and she gave them a quick speech about Houses and brought them inside.

Harry wasn't surprised when both Susan and Hannah went to Hufflepuff, because their families also went there and they valued friendships. He did as well, so he suspected he would be joining them. The wildcard was Hermione. They hadn't talked much besides whispers and she had mentioned Griffindor, so that was going to be a problem if she was in another House.

“Granger, Hermione.” McGonagall said and Hermione gave him a warm smile and strode over to the stool and sat down.

The hat was barely on her head for a few seconds. “Hufflepuff!”

Susan, and Hannah clapped happily for her and she beamed a smile at them as she joined them at the table. The three of them pretty much stared at Harry until his name was called.

The hat actually let out a chuckle when it touched Harry's head. I'm not going to bother searching deeper than the surface of your mind. “Hufflepuff!”

“YAY!” Susan, Hannah, and Hermione yelled and clapped loudly as the rest of the Great Hall stared at them in silence.

Harry handed the hat to a surprised McGonagall and ran over to his girlfriends. He was hugged and kissed several times, then forced to sit between Susan and Hannah as Hermione sat on his lap. The other girls in Hufflepuff were eyeing Harry in a much different manner than everyone else.

The sorting finished and the headmaster made several announcements that no one really heard, then the food appeared. The students around Harry weren't surprised when the three girls did their best to feed him and themselves, because he had his arms full with Hermione.

By the time the meal was over and the Hufflepuff first years were led to their common room, Harry was good friends with everyone in his year and they all got along well. Funnily enough, there was a single girl left and a single boy left when the rooms were assigned and Harry and Hermione ended up being assigned to the last room. No one commented on it, either.

*

Harry had a great first term learning about magic. All of his teachers, even the ornery potions professor and the stuttering defense professor, liked him. He was hard working, studied a lot, and was happy and had lots of friends.

Christmas break was also great, because Harry was home with his family and presents were generously given by all. The happy holiday kisses from his three girlfriends held him spellbound, too. Dudley's joke about Harry holding himself back with only three girlfriends made everyone laugh. The light silvery cloak someone gave Harry and forgot to sign their name to, was hung up in his closet.

The end of year soon arrived and Harry had a spectacular year. He had fun with his friends, spent a lot of time with his three girlfriends, and was near the top of his class in marks. There had been rumors about something happening on the third floor in the abandoned wing of the school and Harry ignored them. He had his friends and he didn't need gossip to distract him.

Summer was spent at home, at Hermione's, at Susan's, and at Hannah's. Surprisingly, none of the parents had any problem with Harry having three girlfriends. He was just too cute for anyone to say no to.

When Amelia Bones said Susan needed to keep her name when she married, it pretty much set off a flurry of Hermione investigating the marriage laws for the wizarding world. It was supposed to work the way they assumed it did in the muggle world, only Hermione found a little used clause about continuing family houses, which let them make more plans about their future.

It amused the parents that the three girls pretty much told Harry that he was going to agree to everything when they were older, and that was that. Harry was more than happy to make them happy.

Since Harry and his girls never had to exchange letters, a particular house elf never got the chance to interfere with the mail or introduce himself.

*

During second year, Ginny Weasley was somehow sorted into Hufflepuff and not Griffindor like the rest of her family. She wanted to be close to her longtime crush, the Boy-Who-Lived, and would do everything to be a part of his life. It was just too bad she would only be a good friend, because he already had three steady girlfriends. She didn't care, though. She was obsessed and needed to be by his side.

Her odd behavior was easily noticed by Harry and his friends, so they reported it to Professor Sprout. It was quickly discovered that Ginny was writing in a cursed diary and it was brought to the headmaster. Before he could sweep it under the rug, the Aurors were called to find out where it came from and who T.M. Riddle was.

Albus sighed when it was discovered who the owner was. Voldemort's real identity of Tom Riddle was plastered all over the newspapers and all of the previous death eaters felt betrayed to learn that he wasn't a pureblood like he claimed. Slytherin's heir or not, he was the son of a muggle and his memory was disgraced because of it.

Ginny recovered from the possession and she was so grateful to Harry and his girlfriends for saving her that she promised to devote herself to them and would do anything they wanted. Since they were Hufflepuffs, they said they wanted a hard-working lifelong friend and she happily agreed, relieved she wouldn't be cast aside for the problems she had caused them.

Slytherin's monster and the Chamber of Secrets would remain a secret and the replacement defense professor left at the end of the year.

*

Third year started and saw Hermione become fourteen and her desire for her boyfriend rose with her entering puberty. Harry was told in no uncertain terms that girls matured faster than boys and he accepted the challenge. The lengthening snogging sessions soon became groping sessions as well. The second bed in their shared room was removed by the house elves, because it was no longer needed.

A notorious mass murderer escaped prison for some reason and everyone thought he was after Harry. He was never left alone and all of his friends pretty much made a living wall around him. It tickled him pink to know that so many people cared about him like that and he made sure to liberally give out hugs and thanks, since they were deserved.

Harry wasn't on the Quiddich team, so he was never outside the castle and was never assaulted by the Dementor guards, which meant he was never made to relive any horrible memories. He also never made any personal connections with the defense professor and never encountered either Sirius Black or Peter Pettegrew. It was unfortunate that both of them, Remus Lupin, and Severus Snape were all kissed by Dementors at the end of the year.

*

Susan blossomed into a beautiful young woman that summer and Harry couldn't have been happier, because she let him play with her large boobs. It almost always made her giggle, because he was like a kid at Christmas every time she opened her top for him. She knew he already did the same thing with Hermione and was glad that she wasn't being left behind in their relationship.

The Quiddich World Cup happened as well and nothing of note happened, despite a larger than normal Auror presence and thousands of witches and wizards attending.

*

Fourth year had the Tri-Wizard Tournament come to Hogwarts and everyone was excited about it. Another retired Auror was the defense professor and he was gruff and mean, so he was not well liked at all, especially by the Hufflepuffs.

When the restrictions on the tournament were announced and who the impartial judge was going to be, Harry laughed out loud. He quickly explained to his friends how to bypass such a simple thing as an age line and everyone talked about it. Word spread like wildfire and everyone used his ideas, himself included.

The three champions were announced, Victor Krum for Durmstrang, Fleur Delacour for Beauxbatons, and Cedric Diggory for Hogwarts. The crowd erupted with cheers for Cedric, Harry especially, because Cedric really was the best of the Hufflepuffs.

The flames of the Goblet of Fire flared once more and Harry Potter's name came out. Everyone went quiet at that and they all turned to look at him.

“You know it has to be fake.” Harry said and that surprised everyone. “I put my name in with Cedric's and you all saw that.”

Most of them nodded.

“He was chosen first, so he's the champion.” Harry said and crossed his arms and nodded. “I absolutely refuse to acknowledge anything else.”

“Harry, my boy. You need to go and join the other champions.” Albus Dumbledore said.

“No. I said I refuse.” Harry said and didn't move.

“Harry, your name came out of the Goblet of Fire. That's a binding magical contract.” Albus said.

Harry shook his head. “You can't make me compete.”

“You chose to put your name in.” Albus said.

“Yeah, against Cedric. He won, because he's the best student in the school.” Harry said and uncrossed his arms. “Whoever put that in there didn't use the same parchment I did.”

“How do you know that?” Someone asked.

“That's simple. Mine was light blue and I wrote Hogwarts on it.” Harry said, proudly. “Hermione gave me the special parchment on my birthday.”

Hermione smiled at Harry using it for something like this, then she frowned and looked at the headmaster. “What happens if you break a magical contract?”

“You will lose your magic.” Albus said, sadly.

“Really? Oh, well.” Harry said and shrugged. “I better hurry up and pack to go home.”

“WHAT?!?” Nearly everyone yelled at the same time, even Albus.

“I won't risk being killed instead of only losing my magic. I'd rather stay alive and love my girlfriends, even if I have to be a muggle to do it.” Harry told them.

“You're crazy!” Someone from the Griffindor table shouted.

“You would become a squib, actually.” A blonde girl from the Ravenclaw table said.

“What's that mean?” Harry asked and she explained it to him. He gave her a surprised look before he thought about it. “Why are there no squibs around if everyone but me knows about them?”

The second explanation was more informative than the first and also disheartening.

“I guess that means most of you would be ashamed to know a squib?” Harry asked and nearly everyone turned slightly away without saying anything.

“Not me. I'm muggleborn.” Hermione said and put an arm around him. “You shouldn't leave school, though.”

“If I can't use a wand, I can't stay here at a magic school.” Harry gave her a quick kiss and stood up. “I'm really going to miss you, Susan, and Hannah.”

The other two girls let out sobs, as did Ginny.

“Hey, I'm not dying. We can still get married and...” Harry started to say and both girls cried harder and hugged each other. “We can't? Why not?”

“Squibs... dishonored... disowned...” Susan managed to say between sobs.

“Huh.” Harry said and looked back at Hermione. “What about you? Will me being a squib change how you feel about me?”

“No, it just means I'll be wearing the magical pants in the family.” Hermione said with a grin.

“I've got nice legs, so I think I can pull off wearing a skirt.” Harry joked to make her laugh and bent down to kiss her again. “Write me later and let me know what's going on.”

Hermione nodded and watched as Harry walked out of the Great Hall. If she knew him as well as she suspected she did, he would be going right to Gringotts on the Knight Bus to withdraw everything he had access to. It should be quite the surprise for everyone when they found out.

Albus rushed over to the other headmasters and the professors to discuss what was happening. He was sure that they could force Harry to compete and keep his magic, except the contest claimed that anyone entering and being accepted would be of age, which would stop the judges and headmasters from forcing the contestant to compete.

By the time they decided to wait until the first task to enforce the rules and sent Mad Eye Moody after Harry, he had already packed and left.

*

Harry stared at the will in his hand and couldn't believe it. He was the sole heir of two families and had two inheritances. The Potter one alone was a significant amount and he knew he would have trouble leaving the bank with it. The second inheritance from his godfather was three times what he already had and it came with an expensive townhouse.

The Potter Manor had burned down during the last war and it hadn't been repaired or rebuilt. The cottage where his parents had died had been declared a national monument by the Ministry of Magic and his account was credited a single galleon for its purchase.

The first thing Harry did was set the goblins on the Ministry for theft of his property, since no one authorized had accepted the purchase. He then set them on the abandoned Black Family townhouse to clear it of everything hazardous after he was informed that it was probably infested with all kinds of nasty creatures and dark artifacts. The goblins would also fix it up enough to be livable.

They agreed on a full inventory and depending on the goblin-made items recovered, the cost of cleaning and renovations would be reduced by that amount, as long as Harry agreed to return the items to the goblins. He also made the same agreement for any vaults he had access to with any extra added to the total gold he would be given as compensation for their worth.

The goblins loved the compromise, because the Black family had been nasty pieces of work that despised lesser beings and had kept goblin created objects for centuries. Several seven compartment trunks were purchased for Harry's use and each of the expanded compartments were filled with gold bars. Galleons would be pretty much useless to Harry because he wouldn't be magical for much longer.

The first unofficial event would be the wand weighing ceremony and he could lose his magic then, or he might have to wait for the first event to start and not show up to activate the not-competing clause of the magical contract. Either way, he didn't have long to wait.

After a long discussion with several goblins and with Sirius Black's will in hand, Harry decided that a little mischief was in order. He declared himself head of the Black family and called his death eater sons-in-laws traitors to the family. This dissolved their marriages and Harry had the goblins reclaim the dowry given to the daughters.

If it had been spent or there wasn't enough galleons to reclaim, then their vaults would be seized and the items sold off. If there still wasn't enough, then their homes would be sold to cover the difference.

Once it all went through and another seven compartment trunk had been filled with gold, Harry disowned the two death eater daughters and their children. None of them would ever inherit anything from the Black Family.

With all the work done and the vaults emptied and closed, Harry was given a portkey that would take him from the bank to his backyard at Privet Drive. Muggle-repelling charms were put on the four trunks and Harry thanked them for all their hard work today and in the future on his behalf. He left the bank a very happy young man after converting some galleons into English pounds.

“HARRY!” Petunia yelled happily when Harry came in through the back door into the kitchen. She pulled him close and hugged him tightly. “What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in school!”

“My name came out of the magical goblet for that tournament I told you about.”

“No! Why would...” Petunia paused and gave him a pointed look. “You put your name in.”

“Yes, for Hogwarts champion.” Harry said and smiled. “Cedric was chosen instead.”

“That nice Diggory boy from Ottery St. Catchpole?” Petunia asked.

“That's him.” Harry said, glad she remembered who he was from their outing last summer with Ginny at the Weasley's swimming hole. “Then my name came out and there was no school written on it.”

Petunia frowned. “Someone tampered with it, didn't they?”

“Yep! As soon as I found out that I'd lose my magic if I broke the contract, I went right to the bank, made some arrangements, and got you this.” Harry said and handed her 2,000 pounds. He had kept 1,000 pounds for himself in case he needed it.

“Harry, you didn't have to do that.” Petunia said and quickly tucked the bundle of money into her shirt and bra without counting it. “Now give me a kiss on the cheek like you mean it.”

Harry laughed and did exactly that, then did it again.

“Do you want to help with supper? I put it off because of... you know.” Petunia said.

Harry nodded and went with her to the stove and helped her finish preparing the intentionally late meal on the anniversary of the death of his parents.

*

Nothing happened to Harry two weeks later when he didn't show up for the wand weighing ceremony. Albus had tried to send Hagrid to bring Harry back to school and the groundskeeper received a frying pan to the side of the head for his trouble. It didn't hurt him in the least.

“No means no.” Petunia spat at him and slammed the door on his surprised face.

*

On the afternoon of November 24, Harry sat in the living room studying up what he had missed for the last three years in muggle school when he felt a bit tired. His usually bright green eyes dulled a little and his always messy bird's nest hair settled down on its own and almost looked normal.

Petunia saw the change happen and knew that he just lost his magic. Without saying a word, she stopped cleaning the carpet and sat beside him.

Harry gave her a sad look before he hugged her tightly. “I need to send a letter or two.”

“That can wait for a while.” Petunia whispered and rubbed his back consolingly. She felt a couple of tears hit her blouse and she didn't comment. Words were not enough to convey what Harry had lost and they both knew it.

*

The wizarding world was shocked to learn that the Boy-Who-Lived had lost his magic. Most of them couldn't believe that he would give up their entire world to prove that he wasn't the fourth champion or that he would give up the chance for eternal glory and 1,000 galleons. Most of them were idiots. Only his current girlfriend, his two ex-girlfriends, his lifelong friend, and his friends had believed him.

The truth was even more shocking when the Daily Prophet newspaper article came out, because Harry Potter had already withdrawn everything he owned from Gringotts. It also revealed what happened to cause the financial ruin of the Malfoy Family and the pilfering of the Lestrange Family.

*

Cedric Diggory ended up winning the tournament and dedicated it to his good friend, Harry Potter. He was booed for it. Cedric shook his head at their shortsightedness and left the podium. Surprisingly, no one wondered why Albus Dumbedore wasn't there. He had been kidnapped by Professor Moody and taken to the Little Hangleton graveyard.

The ritual was performed to give Voldemort a body and the parts were added as spoken. Bone of the father, unknowingly given. Flesh of the servant, willingly offered. Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken. Only, that last was wrong, because Albus always gave enemies another chance. He gave his blood willingly in order to plead with Tom and turn him to the light side.

This altered the ritual significantly, because Voldemort had wanted to dominate and use his regained power to take over. With him being welcomed by his chosen enemy, by the time he stood up in the cauldron, his reformed body started to break down.

“What... what is this?” Voldemort asked as he saw his white-skinned hand wrinkle up and wither.

Albus smiled. “Why, that is old age, my boy. I am a hundred and fifty years old, after all.”

Voldemort felt his magic falter and his rejuvenated body seemed to hunch and fold in on itself. “Why... why am I...”

“I suspect aging a century and a half so quickly without your magic aging as well to maintain your health.” Albus mused. “It's quite fascinating, to be honest.”

Voldemort's transformation ended and he was almost bent in half, his limbs feeble and shaky, and his skin grey and wrinkly like an old elephant. He didn't even have enough strength to step out of the cauldron.

“Barty.” Voldemort rasped through old lips.

“Avada Kedavra.” Barty Crouch Jr. shot him in the chest and the wizened form of the resurrected dark lord crumpled down inside the cauldron.

There was an unholy scream as Voldemort's soul was torn from his body and then the smoky cloud of his spirit dissipated.

“NO!” Barty yelled and dropped to his knees and reached out with grasping hands.

“It seems I underestimated exactly how much Harry Potter being a squib meant to the prophecy.” Albus said and easily freed himself before he used his wand to stun the distraught death eater. “Marked as his equal indeed.”

If Albus had known that Harry not having magic would have made Voldemort so weak after regaining a body, he would have tried to bring the dark lord back after the first task. That thought made the old man chuckle, because he had tried to not let Harry lose his magic, which would have meant a fully powered Voldemort if the resurrection ritual had worked as it was supposed to.

With the danger over and the wizarding world safe from Voldemort's return, Albus vanished the wrinkled corpse and created a portkey to send himself and Barty Crouch back to Hogwarts. He thought about obliviating the death eater and decided he shouldn't have to. The minister was paranoid enough that he should have the escaped prisoner kissed long before anyone would think to question him.

*

Harry answered the front door and grinned at the bushy-haired girl on the front step. “Hermione!”

“Harry!” Hermione exclaimed and jumped into his arms. The two of them kissed several times and their hands did a bit of quick exploring, as if they needed the reassurance that they really were touching who they were.

“Ahem.” Mr. Granger said and coughed.

“Oh!” Hermione gasped and jumped back from Harry. “Sorry, dad.”

Mrs. Granger let out a girlish giggle. “I'm sure he meant for Harry to invite us in first before you get to a proper greeting.”

“Right! Please, come in.” Harry said graciously and stepped back. “It's so nice of you to drive all this way to visit.”

“Yes, nice.” Mr. Granger said sarcastically and his wife smacked his arm. “What? Hermione has been begging us to go pick him up since school ended a week ago.”

Hermione blushed and didn't look repentant at all as they entered the living room. “I may have hung all over dad to convince him it was the right thing to do.”

Harry gave her a quick kiss. “Thank you.”

“I'm glad your family agreed to let you come with us.” Mrs. Granger said.

“He bribed us!” Dudley said, happily.

Petunia laughed and hugged him. “We're going on our own little holiday to the continent.”

“Everyone getting what they want is a pleasant experience for once.” Vernon agreed.

“Are you all packed?” Hermione asked.

“Ever since you sent your letter last month when you suggested I might be allowed to come along.” Harry said, smugly. Both Petunia and Mrs. Granger laughed.

“You know, being too eager might scare someone away.” Mr. Granger commented.

“We know.” Harry and Hermione responded at the same time.

They had both seen what Ginny was like before with the cursed diary and after they had saved her. Surprisingly, she still wanted to be with Harry as a squib. Her family was dead set against that, though. They had a squib cousin that they never talked about and they didn't want Ginny to be ostracized by the wizarding world.

Harry was really grateful that Hermione couldn't care less about that. Muggleborns didn't have many career opportunities in the current Ministry of Magic and she would have to work hard to change things enough to earn a position in their government. She might not choose to go that way, since Harry was not a part of that world anymore.

“I'll go grab my bag and I'll be right back.” Harry said.

“I'll help.” Hermione said and followed him.

“They're going to be about ten minutes.” Mrs. Granger said with a knowing smile.

Ten minutes later, Harry appeared carrying his suitcase and had a goofy smile on his face. Hermione looked pleased and her hair was a bit messed up and her sweater was on inside out.

“Car. Now.” Mr. Granger growled and his wife softly laughed and ushered the two happy teenagers out of the room.

“She did warn you.” Petunia said with a smile.

“Right. Constant supervision. Thank you.” Mr. Granger said. “It was nice meeting you again.”

“Likewise.” Vernon said. “Enjoy the torture of horny teenagers for the next month.”

“Ugh, don't remind me.” Mr. Granger huffed and nodded to them before he left.

“So, a week?” Petunia asked and held out a five pound note to her husband.

“Three days, right after Harry sees her in a bikini.” Vernon said and accepted the winnings of his bet that Harry would see his girlfriend topless before they left on their trip.

“A tenner says her father blocks them at least twice this week.” Petunia said.

“Done.” Vernon said with a chuckle. His wife always did bet on the easy money.

*

Harry laid in his girlfriend's bed three days later, thoroughly exhausted. “I didn't think... I could be in love with you... even more than... I already was.”

Hermione giggled. “I didn't think... penises could get... as hard as that.”

“Hermione... you're gorgeous.” Harry said and gave her a kiss. “That bikini... you actually caused me... physical pain.”

Hermione blushed and felt like her heart was going to burst. “Harry...”

“I'm not lying.” Harry said and turned his head to look into her eyes. “You... are... beautiful.”

Hermione saw the truth in his eyes and smiled. “You're not so bad yourself.”

“Ha.” Harry said and laid back to look up at the ceiling. “I know I lost my cuteness with my magic.”

“No, you lost your epic cuteness.” Hermione corrected and rolled up onto her side to caress his face. “But, cuteness is only useful when all you want is attention. Without it, all people will see is you.”

Harry turned onto his side as well. “And what do you see?”

“I see my future handsome husband.” Hermione said and leaned forward to give him a tender kiss. She felt him get hard and let out a giggle. “I'm glad you're not wearing underwear right now or you would tear another pair.”

“I told you that was totally your fault.” Harry said and pulled her close to kiss her passionately.

“You flashed my mom.” Hermione said and laughed. “She was pretty shocked.”

“Envy is something she is going to have to live with.” Harry said and moaned as Hermione adjusted herself and he fit inside of her. “I'm yours.”

Hermione remembered she had said that when they first met and blushed deeply, because now it was true.

*

Hermione finished her fifth year and passed all of her OWLs with Outstandings. She left the wizarding world and moved in with her longtime boyfriend and now fiance, Harry Potter. Their townhouse was the envy of their neighbours and looked much grander and opulent than a mansion would.

Both she and Harry continued their muggle education and graduated high school two years later, married in a lavish ceremony, and had a child almost right away. Rose Lily Granger was born a witch and benefited from both the muggle world and the magical world.

Her parents loved her deeply and gave her the choice to study at home or go to school. Rose chose home, because she loved them as much as they loved her and she never wanted to leave them. Her Hogwarts letter was returned, unopened.