Transformation or Death

A Little Money and a Place to Live Tomorrow is Enough (17)

It’s an obvious story.

Work can’t be solved by motivation alone. It requires the right capabilities.

“No.”

Blue Sirius knows.

That she’s only better compared to her colleagues, not absolutely superior.

Can fight one-on-one with S-class villains? She doesn’t understand what’s so great about that. What’s there to praise? Now S-class villains have begun to operate in earnest. There’s no guarantee the enemy will always come alone.

Is being able to fight one-on-one an advantage in this situation? When Blue Sirius first heard such descriptions being applied to her, she wondered who they were trying to joke about.

“No….”

Blue Sirius had accepted it long ago. She knew her own inadequacies.

She was weak. Always weak. Not once in her life had she ever gained the upper hand against villains.

Even if she got stronger, someone stronger would appear. The rate at which strong enemies appeared was faster than her growth rate.

Her eyes filled with water. Everything was water. If there was any, both her eyes and vision were full of water. What was commonly called the source of life was now taking the most lives.

“Stop, stop. Please….”

No matter how much water she froze, the advance wouldn’t stop. The water, heated like a hot spring, was not easy to turn into ice, and even when frozen, it quickly melted. The water near the villain was even hot like lava.

She created a huge ice wall in front of him. But the villain erased the wall with waves of lava and moved forward.

Red Vega also tried to approach and attack, but it was futile. She couldn’t even get close to begin with. Even if she approached, she’d only be swept away by the water. The villain’s reaction speed was getting faster.

Even the butterflies sent by the villain called Odette sank in the water without being able to do anything, swept away by the waves. The compatibility was too poor. Even if they moved the water somewhere else, it would only cause flooding elsewhere, and they couldn’t move such a large amount of water at once.

Despite the desperate struggle of the three, the villain’s advance didn’t stop.

He had no consciousness. No will or passion. Just rampaging according to Libra’s purpose.

Literally firewood. Firewood that burns body and soul to brighten starlight. As he used his ability, his body would crumble and recover repeatedly.

Third November, who had harbored an inferiority complex because he couldn’t use his ability without water.

At the end of his life, he shone the brightest.

Blue Sirius lost her light while watching that light. Her magic power slowly decreased due to the effects of overused magic. Of course, she still had enough magic power to move. However, it was only enough magic power to ensure her own survival.

“No……”

Her life had been a repetition of failures.

When she thought she had succeeded, time would pass and it would ultimately become a failure.

Ironically, until now, she had continued to succeed only at failing.

Today was no different.

She imprisoned someone she loved saying she would protect them. It didn’t matter if people cursed it as insanity. She had experienced enough insanity to justify such insane actions.

How many times has Han Jae-jung been attacked by villains? She didn’t know. She couldn’t even count. Whenever they tried to be a little happy, villains would come and interfere. Even though he didn’t particularly have any illness, he had to be hospitalized quite often because of it.

If hospitals had mileage or ranks like shopping malls, he would definitely have been a VIP.

To the point where such pointless jokes could come up, Han Jae-jung had been caught up in many villains’ disturbances. Both when she was a magical girl and when she wasn’t.

Today, the number of those attacks might increase. And with this attack, he might never be harmed by villains again.

The villain approached the river.

When that river sweeps across the world, he too will disappear far away with it. Just as stones are swept away by the current, broken into pieces and deposited downstream, his body too would probably be shattered into pieces and become earth.

Near that river, in an elegant tower hotel. In a secret room deep below that only the wealthy can enter. That’s where Han Jae-jung is. Where she had imprisoned him.

There’s no one else to blame. It’s entirely my fault. It was because of my lack of virtue and shortcomings.

Han Jae-jung could die today. This attack could lead him to eternal rest.

His life story might end with a period before it’s fully written.

‘…Because of me.’

Death.

It’s a chilling word whenever I think about it.

She first realized what death meant at age seven.

It was when her parents’ friends and her friend’s parents, Han Jae-jung’s parents, passed away.

I heard it was a terrible disaster. A famous villain suddenly appeared on that road in Leo and swept through it. That’s what I heard.

It was the first time in my life I felt such solemnity. Solemnity permeated everywhere my breath and eyes reached. It was suffocating. I dislike hospital smells, but I hated this place’s fragrance even more.

Although quite some time has passed, Yoon Seol-hwa still couldn’t forget the incense smell from that place. She remembered everything – the sound of grown adults wailing like children getting shots at the hospital, everyone’s stiff expressions.

Among all these memories, the most vivid was the back of a boy who stayed strong without crying while all the adults were weeping.

It was her friend Han Jae-jung, who became an orphan overnight. Perhaps it was because he alone didn’t cry when everyone else was crying. She remembers every single one of his movements.

-I’m fine.

The voice answering concerned adults with dry lips, the face that twisted those dry lips into a smile when their eyes met.

It was frightening. Because he didn’t cry and smiled while everyone else was crying. The desolate eyes, skin as pale as hers, the bandages and band-aids scattered about, and the faint bloodstains beyond them – everything was frightening.

She also remembered the adults’ whispers from behind.

-Fortunately, it’s before the death insurance is abolished…

-Coincidentally, right before the villain death insurance is being abolished… I guess he’s lucky in a way.

-Then he was lucky. Lucky. Plus, being a victim of a national disaster, there might be other compensation…

Every time such words came up, Han Jae-jung’s brow would twitch slightly. Then he would make an even more mature expression and straighten his posture.

It was as if he was trying to prove he wasn’t shaken at all.

Thinking about it now, it was probably a declaration of will. I’m this mature. I can live well without that money. That kind of will.

-But how does the child not shed a single tear? It’s scary, really.

-I know. When his parents died… I wonder if he’s heartless or just mature…

Yoon Seol-hwa burst into loud tears hearing those whispers. She suddenly became afraid of him who wouldn’t cry even when everyone around was crying. She completely believed the words about him being heartless. Though her crying was so loud it stopped the whispers, her parents had a hard time consoling her.

Why did I do that? It’s still an embarrassing memory even now.

-From today, you’ll be staying at our house for a while.

And a few days later, her parents brought him home. When Yoon Seol-hwa saw him…

-What? Nooo!!!!

She burst into tears again dramatically.

-Why, why are you acting like this, Seol-hwa? You can’t treat your friend this way!

-No, no! I’m scared! I’m scared! Waaah!!

-This child…

Her parents were quite flustered. They must have been confused since the children had gotten along well before and she suddenly said she didn’t like him. She remembers constantly watching Han Jae-jung’s reactions. Looking back now, it’s beyond embarrassing – it makes her want to die.

If she could go back in time and see herself then, she would have given herself a knock on the head.

After the funeral, Yoon Seol-hwa became afraid of Han Jae-jung.

It was because the funeral made death real to her. Yoon Seol-hwa, who had been sickly since childhood, frequently went to the hospital. And sometimes doctors would tell her to prepare herself mentally, or nurses would pray for her not to die.

Now that Yoon Seol-hwa knows what death is, she understands. That she too could die at any moment. That she could become the protagonist of a funeral like the one she saw that day.

The thought of Han Jae-jung not being sad when looking at her scared her. Afraid that her death wouldn’t be worth even a single tear. Afraid that he wouldn’t remember her even after her death. Afraid that their memories of playing together would become meaningless.

So, Yoon Seol-hwa was afraid of Han Jae-jung. He has no affection. Those whispers remained deep in her mind.

The moment she opened her heart to Han Jae-jung was several months later, when she was hospitalized after her condition suddenly worsened.

-Mom… AM I… Going to die…?

Now knowing what death is, Yoon Seol-hwa asked fearfully. Her parents frantically comforted her saying no, that she would be fine, but she didn’t believe them. She was anxious. She was terrified of disappearing from this world.

Her nerves, having become so sensitive, made her easily irritated at everything. Perhaps that’s why Yoon Seol-hwa ended up snapping at Han Jae-jung.

She doesn’t remember exactly what she said. Maybe she mentioned his parents, or got angry at why he was so quiet, or said he wouldn’t cry if she died, or said she was scared. She’s not sure. All she knows is that it was definitely something she wanted to beat him up for saying.

If Yoon Seol-hwa could turn back time to that moment, she wouldn’t just give him a knock on the head, she would have strangled him.

After Yoon Seol-hwa’s outburst of harsh words, Han Jae-jung quietly spoke.

-I will cry.

Though his tone was calm, his voice trembled slightly as if the shock hadn’t worn off.

“I will be sad, and I will remember. I will cry every time I come to the hospital. I will cry when I see your favorite side dishes while eating. I will cry when I see girls playing, when I lie in bed, when I’m about to fall asleep. I will cry while walking. I will cry a lot, a lot.”

Han Jae-jung spoke matter-of-factly.

-If you die too, I will pour out all the tears I’ve been holding back until now. I will drown in tears and die too.

Slowly, tears fell onto the back of her hand.

-So, don’t die.

Han Jae-jung declared thus.

After that, Yoon Seol-hwa was no longer afraid of Han Jae-jung. Fortunately, she recovered quickly and was able to return to daily life. Han Jae-jung began to smile more, and Yoon Seol-hwa smiled along with him.

Looking at him, she thought. Would I cry if Jae-jung dies? I probably would cry a lot. But would I cry enough to die? That, I’m not sure.

Even though she was young, she thought something was unfair.

It’s strange that if I die, Han Jae-jung would die too, but if Han Jae-jung dies, I wouldn’t die.

It’s strange that he entrusted his life to me, but I haven’t entrusted mine to him.

So.

‘If Han Jae-jung dies, I’ll die too.’

A pure and violent promise only possible for a child. A foolish statement like saying ‘I love you as much as the sky and earth’ that can only be said when you don’t even know what you’re talking about. It was nothing more than expressing greatness by comparing it to something immeasurable.

But suddenly that promise became more realistic.

One day, while Yoon Seol-hwa and Han Jae-jung were walking home together, they were attacked by a villain.

Han Jae-jung used himself as bait to help Yoon Seol-hwa escape. If a passing magical girl hadn’t saved him, he would have lost his life right there.

He kept his word. If you die, I die too, so you must live. As if reenacting what he said at the hospital, he offered his life.

After that, Yoon Seol-hwa made a new promise.

‘Because you dedicated your life to me.’

I too will dedicate my life to you.

This promise remains valid even now, more than ten years later.

Just as you risked your life to save me, I will do the same.

“Sister, be careful!”

Lost in memories of the past, she had apparently gotten too close to the villain. In the starlight, the horrific sight of the half-decomposed being filled her eyes.

The being swung its hand. With it, waves surged. They were enormous waves, and scorching hot waves. Water pressure strong enough to severely injure even a magical girl.

Though she could freeze it with just a small movement, Yoon Seol-hwa deliberately chose not to. She accepted the waves.

[Guardian!!!]

She heard the mascot’s scream before it faded away.

She could feel her body being swept away and carried off. It’s okay. This is the appropriate punishment. Living now would be pointless. Rather than being unable to save him, it’s better to die.

She could feel her flesh slowly burning. In that intense pain, Yoon Seol-hwa fell into questioning. As her breath faded and her body sank, questions arose instead.

‘Is this all the punishment there is?’

No, that can’t be right. Death cannot repay this. How could death alone atone for the sin of putting him in danger?

‘Is this really all the effort I can muster?’

No. This is nothing more than giving up halfway out of fear of the approaching end. In other words, it’s escape. Escape through death.

If I die like this and go to the other world, would I be able to face Han Jae-jung’s parents? Could I hold my head high before my already departed parents?

No. No. This isn’t right.

Not yet.

I haven’t done everything yet. My body can still move. There’s still hope in my heart. I can’t fall here.

Because I…

‘Because he called me a star!’

Because I promised to return, because he called me a hero.

If I heard it, I must respond. I must pay the price for this life full of sin.

I can’t fall yet. I can’t drop yet. I can’t lose yet.

I must be a star. Because he called me that, that’s what I must be.

If I promised to dedicate my life, I must live up to his expectations.

Because that is respect, and that is how I love.

Blue Sirius’s heart burned bright. Starlight frantically mixed with her blood.

A magical girl’s power comes from love and peace.

Only through love, the star grew bright as if about to explode.

Divine light.

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