THE LAST SON OF JACOB

(THE FINAL CHAPTER OF THE RED SNOW ARC . . .)

"I had a dream. It was the kind that I knew it was a dream, but I could not wake up."

* * *

For some reason, it seemed like she was more cognizant of her surroundings than usual. The bell that signified the end of the day's lesson, the setting sun, with a slight warmth and a cold breeze that left golden rays around them, the bustle of students around her, and the voice of her best friend. Akira.

"You seemed off what's uuup yo?"

"Am ok," said Kitsune pushing back her chair.

She promptly carried her bag pack. For a moment she looked at a pen on her desk, a fountain pen. The ink was messy on the sharp tip, which forced a desire to wipe, it clean with a tissue. She pushed the desire aside, put a lid on it and shoved it in her pocket.

"Shall we go?"

"Yes, we shall,"

Then they walked on through the halls. Perhaps it was the unsettling feeling she had, or perhaps it was she was just in a bad mood that day, but as they walked, she could hardly hear what Akira said. She vaguely heard something about an idol but nothing she could commit to memory.

Her mind was elsewhere, no it was at that moment. A sort of awareness, that raised a certain blissful doubt. A doubt that elevated her mood and she was happy. She had read about that feeling, it was called existential awareness.

"Tsune," Akira's voice finally caught her attention.

Akira had already switched to her casual shoes. She stared blankly at Kitsune who was still in her indoor shoes.

"Your brain is like a mushroom today where are you at?"

Kitsune laughed slightly as she opened her locker. She pulled out her casual shoes.

"I've just been preoccupied by something," she said putting on her shoes.

"Preoccupied by what exactly?"

"A dream I had,"

"Must be some dream, was it a fantasy of a prince charming?"

Kitsune laughed slightly as she jumped to her feet. She put her indoor shoes in the locker closed it and turned to Akira.

"Come on I'll tell you about it as we go home,"

"Nice, am dying to hear the juicy details, so shoot."

"In that case, I had a dream. It was the kind that I knew was a dream, but I could not wake up. The dream was on winter, 21st of December,"

* * *

Her eyes darted to the clock. 2.00 am. She could hear a drop of water hit the sink, the hands of the clock move and a distant slow and gentle beating of the window, probably from the cold wind outside.

"You look pale," said Cain, " I'll make you some tea."

"Sure, thanks," she managed to say.

As he rose from the bed beside her she could not help but note the small subtle and intricate details of his movements. The details seemed profound, like the way the bed shifted slightly and the sound of fabric from his black shirt. These prompted a feeling she had read about once. Existential awareness, was it?

There was a small tac sound from the kitchen followed by the sound of a stream of burning from the cooker. She was able to watch him slightly fascinated by his focus on such a mundane task.

"It was a crazy night," Cain spoke as he looked up at her.

"Yeah, the craziest I've ever had. I still can't believe Shin shot me. I guess I have you to thank that am alive again?"

There was a brief silence from him. Then there was that smile again, the constant one that he had. That smile was familiar, especially when he was hiding something. It was a bit annoying, but she was patient.

"Thank Akira," said Cain at last, "and where do you put the tea leaves again?"

"Top cabinet on the left,"

He opened it and was slightly caught off guard by the pleasant smell of spices. Then, he reached for the tea and honey. A few lemons on the bottom cabinet, ginger and cinnamon.

"You are in luck today," he said, "am going to make you tea the Norway style"

Kitsune chuckled slightly, "Not from the UK? I've always believed you are British, from how you talk."

"I get that a lot," said Cain, "If I am to pick a country say am from around Norway, I've just lived with Gebriel a lot who you can tell is from England."

"I heard her speak roadman ones, I did not even get one word at all,"

"Yaa I met this peng gyal fam," said Cain trying to mimic Gebriel and before they knew it they both laughed.

She sat up straight mostly prompted by the smell of cinnamon. It was then she noted the clothes she wore were completely different from the ones she had earlier. Gym shorts and a pink T-shirt. Then she looked over to his direction her face flushed red.

"Did he notice I wasn't wearing any bra? And wait who changed me?" before long she was in a white hoodie.

"And there you have it, Norwegian tea,"

"Smell's nice," she said and took a sip. "Tastes nice too."

"You are welcome, my Lady," he said taking his cup and sitting beside her on the couch. "So, you were talking in your sleep. Must have been some dream huh?"

She put the cup on her lap and stared blankly at it. It was hot, a burning hot, but not the kind that bothered her. She held enjoyed the warmth on her hands.

"I suppose it was the dreams I was having,"

"What kind of dreams?"

She put the cup on the table unable to bear the heat anymore.

"To be honest I had several dreams, flashed that I hardly recall, but there was this one dream in particular that I remember. It was on Autumn, and I was in school. We were walking with Akira."

* * *

"Now I see, the details are getting juicier," Akira said, "You two alone in your place, in the middle of the night, I can see the plot line."

Akira gently elbow-bumped her and winked. Kitsune shrugged it off but her red face cheeks were far too obvious.

"It didn't happen like that," said Kitsune defensively, "he was there because I had just died for crying out loud."

"No need to get all jittery sister, I know Cain is far too chicken to do that, and besides . . ."

Aki paused making Kitsune a bit curious. She turned to Aki and caught a glimpse of a saddened expression on her face.

"Besides?"

"It's like you were created for him," Akira said, forcing a flimsy smile on her face. "The more I think about it, the more it seems convenient you know. It's almost like in a book, when the name Kitsune is said, in a few lines later, Cain shall also be mentioned."

"You think so?" asked Kitsune.

"Of course I do,"

The two walked on, neither willing to say another word. Akira knew the question in Kitsune's mind, and Kitsune knew Akira wanted her to ask. But a fear drove her to silence, a philosophy she could never abandon. As they walked, a stream of thoughts bombarded her head.

"To be honest, it doesn't seem that way to me." she thought, "In the last five or so months we've only talked a handful of times, and I've never seen any significant difference in his demeanour. Anyone who looks at him knows he's hiding something, and honestly, I doubt he would open up to anyone let alone me."

She then turned to Akira who looked ahead. A sort of envy always enveloped her when they were together. There was a certain strength she wished she could steal from her. If it is not said, then, it will never be unsaid. But unless it is said, then it will never be understood.

"Aki," Kitsune called out. In the back of her mind, a voice kept saying stop it Kitsune, you don't have to ask, but . . . "You like Cain, don't you?" she asked anyway.

Akira's expression darkened slightly, and she stopped. "Yeah, I do," she said.

There was a gnawing regret in Kitsune. A certain bitter taste in her mouth. She was not angry, she was not sad, it was, a mixture of regret, shame and fear. Why did she have to drive a wedge between them by asking?

"But" Akira continued, "I know Cain. He's an honest guy you know. We've been playing online games and every time, he pats me on the head and back. The way he acts is synonymous with a brother and sister-relationship. Believe me, I know I have a brother."

She then looked up to Kitsune and smiled warmly.

"But when you are around, it feels different, he's extra cautious, am a bit jealous but am cool with it. After all, you two are my best friends."

Kitsune smiled and laughed slightly. As though the tension in the air had vanished.

"I get it now," she said.

She reached into her pocket and took out the fountain pen, then pulled the lid and looked at its tip.

"You are exactly like her you know, maybe that's why I haven't been able to wake up. Unlike Akira, I am petty you know, maybe that's why we are friends. But I'll have to ask her when I wake up."

Akira smiled. "See you soon then,"

"Yeah," Kitsune said.

She then held the pen menacingly and hovered it on the side of her head. She then took a deep breath and then . . .

* * * 

"When I think about Aki, I always want to be like her. Compared to her, I bring the wrong kind of attention, toxic if am being candid. I suppose you think an ugly person now?"

She turned to him and watched his eyes closely. By now she knew that no matter how hard she would try to lead him to a particular question, unless it is said, it will never be known.

"Cain, do you think I am a bad person after what you just heard about me? Please give me a straight answer for once," she said. Cain put his now empty teacup on the table. He was thoughtful for a second and turned to her.

"You think of Aki as a pure person, and you are defiling her. In my book, I cannot say you are a good person, but I cannot say you are bad either. At the end of the day, good and bad is just a convenience. But, even if you think of yourself as ugly, I cannot bring myself to hate you. I hope you can take comfort in that"

Kitsune stretched her legs which had been up on the sofa to the side of her body. She could feel a numbness on her waist as she did. It was kind of refreshing. After planting her feet on the floor, she slouched her back to the seat.

"To be honest, I've always been reluctant to tell people this. The last day I was with my family I poisoned them."

Cain looked at her fairly surprised but impressed at the same time.

"I wasn't trying to kill them, just forcing them to listen to me. As a child, half European, half Japanese with no allegiances, I often heard things. Like who slept with who and who stole from who. Trust me, I knew a lot. It was payback, for a family that values honour shaming them was the greatest revenge. I tried to kill myself too but somehow I survived."

"To be honest, I don't understand why you are telling this to me." Cain.

"Because you are grieving. Just like I was."

It was but a moment. A fraction of a second. Had she even blinked, she would have missed it. But there was a look on his face she had never seen. Surprise? No, fear? No, it was something else, something even more primal.

"Is that so?" asked Cain. "No, I guess you are right."

He then fully turned to her with a sudden gaze that mesmerized her. The feeling of surprise was familiar, but where had she felt it? The harder she tried to recall it the more it escaped her mind.

"Am sorry. . ."

"Don't be," he said curtly. "Am the one who made the mistake."

For some reason, she found herself looking at his lips, an unspoken desire a sort of yearning that she could not hide from him. And as though he understood it his hand reached up and cupped her face, his fingers resting lightly on her neck and his thumb made gentle strokes on her cheek.

Her lips parted slightly and he leaned in taking the invitation. She closed her eyes not even attempting to pull away. Her heart raced, her breath held and before she knew it their lips were locked. She could feel their tongues touch slightly as he gently nimble her upper lip then her lower.

He then pulled back slowly. Perhaps he was afraid of the progression that went beyond there or perhaps it was something else. But he looked at her and slowly whispered.

"Am sorry. . . "

As he said that, his face seemed to glitch. Then there was darkness.

* * *

Kitsune woke up suddenly. Her heart raced and her face flushed red, she looked at the time. 2.00 am.

"What was that all about?" she asked out loud.

ONE MONTH LATER.

The morning was cheerful and sunny. The golden sun rays in the middle of the highrise illuminated the streets melting the snow. Kitsune walked out of the apartment building in her jacket. She looked across the street and smiled. 

"It's been a month now since I last saw him." she thought, "a lot happened that night, though I don't recall anything, I have a feeling I will see him one day. The man in my dreams."

After inhaling deeply, she crossed the streets and walked to school. All the while, some distance away Cain stood beside a building watching her.

"Lord Cain, do you think she deserved all that?" asked Gebriel.

"It's better this way," he said, "let's go, this is a chapter of the story that we shouldn't revisit."

Cain disappeared into the alley leaving Gebriel to watch her for a while.

"No, my lord, she is the plot in your book. Not a chapter. I'll be seeing you soon my Lady, Lady Anny."