Sweet Sugar Candyman

#17

I had no intention of closing my mouth, which had opened wide. They say that when you’re too surprised, you can’t even speak properly, and that was exactly how I felt right now.

To be honest, I had experienced nocturnal emissions several times during my puberty while thinking about my hyung, but hearing it directly from someone else was an overwhelming stimulus. Lewd imaginations began to swirl in my mind. Even with my dull brain, the words were clear enough to make my face flush bright red.

“What’s wrong?”

Choi Hyun-oh asked, genuinely curious, but there was a teasing tone at the end of his question. My response came out mumbled, still covered by my hand.

“…How… could that be… possible?”

“What do you mean? Like getting into the mood, touching a bit, kissing, and then going to bed?”

His words became even more explicit, and I felt my entire body heat up from head to toe. Drinking, getting into the mood, touching, kissing, and then doing it with Saheon? I was so flustered that I couldn’t even speak properly. Choi Hyun-oh lightly tapped my arm with a playful laugh.

“What, are you a virgin or something? Or is it some kind of religious belief…?”

“No… that’s…”

My tongue stumbled over my words. I rubbed my warm cheeks with the hand that had been covering my mouth and lowered my head. My cheeks felt like they were on fire, as if I had a fever. Even after exhaling a sigh, the boiling sensation in my stomach wouldn’t cool down, and I had to fan myself.

Choi Hyun-oh chuckled softly. I bit down on the soft flesh inside my mouth and quickly poured some beer to quench the burning sensation in my throat. But it had little effect. The lingering image of Saheon wouldn’t leave my mind, even in my momentarily dazed state.

“You’re so naive… it’s cute.”

Choi Hyun-oh muttered quietly, and when our eyes met, he flashed his characteristic playful smile. With his brightly bleached hair, piercings, and a somewhat carefree vibe, it looked like he was teasing me.

“Hyung talked too much about adult stuff, huh? Just drink some more beer, our Cheongmyeong.”

Before I could even respond, Choi Hyun-oh filled my glass to the brim and forced it to my lips. As the barley-colored liquid touched my lips, I instinctively gulped it down.

Perhaps because I was showing too much embarrassment, Choi Hyun-oh changed the subject. For a moment, I couldn’t focus on the conversation due to my flushed cheeks, but as I listened to Choi Hyun-oh’s words, which were amusing even without much content, I easily forgot the topic.

After sharing a large pitcher of beer and finishing all the snacks we had bought, Choi Hyun-oh retrieved a few more beers hidden in the fridge. The outside, visible through the blinds, had already turned completely dark.

As we laughed and chatted, empty cans and bottles gradually filled the small table. Before I knew it, I found myself sitting near Choi Hyun-oh’s bed. Using the high mattress as a backrest, I sipped the lukewarm beer when I heard a voice from beside me.

“Cheongmyeong.”

Turning my gaze to where the voice came from, I saw Choi Hyun-oh sitting next to me, leaning back against the mattress just like I was.

“Are you sleepy?”

No, I wasn’t sleepy… But when did I end up sitting here…? However, my curiosity was short-lived, and I found it bothersome to even speak. I decided to nod in response, but before I could, Choi Hyun-oh’s voice came again.

“It’s already this late. Isn’t the last bus gone?”

Before I could answer his previous question, he threw out another one, leaving me shaking my head at the latter. Would that count as an answer? While I pondered for a moment, Choi Hyun-oh chuckled softly.

“Where did you say your apartment is? Do you remember?”

“Um…”

I knew that hyung’s place was 801, or was it 701…? I could tell by the shape of the apartment… If I just went there… Amidst my aimless thoughts, Choi Hyun-oh’s laughter interrupted me. I focused my eyes, trying to clear my hazy vision.

“You’re smart, so you can find it? But you don’t remember the name of the complex?”

Choi Hyun-oh, who seemed to read my thoughts, was impressive. I widened my eyes and looked at him, and he had a smile in his eyes.

“There are so many apartment complexes with the same name in Magok. You need to be precise to get a taxi.”

“Bus…”

Can’t I just take the last bus? I asked. Choi Hyun-oh, who had been chuckling, let out a thoughtful sound and checked the time again.

“There are a few buses at this time, but… I’m not sure if they go to your place. You said you don’t remember the name.”

My body was suddenly lifted. It was thanks to Choi Hyun-oh grabbing my side and pulling me up. As I obediently followed, Choi Hyun-oh sat me down on the bed.

“Sit comfortably. Don’t hunch over like a poor thing.”

“Uh… thanks…”

“I’m going to smoke, so think of the name of your apartment. I don’t think you can take the bus, so I’ll get you a taxi. If you can’t remember, you can sleep at my place.”

As I listened to Choi Hyun-oh’s words in a daze, I slowly nodded. Choi Hyun-oh picked up the padding that had been carelessly tossed aside and left the house after telling me to stay put.

I felt the soft, swaying sensation of the plush bed. Holding the soft blanket in one hand, I couldn’t resist the cozy feeling and fell sideways onto the bed.

The mixed scent of fabric softener and cigarette smoke tickled my nose. As I blinked while half-lying down, I felt the drowsiness I had forgotten creeping in.

I wanted to sleep just a little, but I felt like I shouldn’t fall asleep in a house where the owner wasn’t present. I decided to wait until Choi Hyun-oh finished smoking and returned.

I thought I heard someone muttering to themselves from somewhere. The faint presence I had felt began to fade.

“…Yes, yes, hyung. Ah, yes. I really am a classmate. Ah… In the French department, there are only two of us, me and Cheongmyeong. Cheongmyeong is sleeping right now… Yes… It’s not a motel; we drank at my place… Ah, you’re going to take him directly? The address… Yes, here…”

A vague voice, whose owner I couldn’t identify, lingered in my ears, but I didn’t want to open my eyes. My dazed mind made it feel like I was in a dream.

I gradually felt a throbbing pain in my neck due to the awkward angle it was bent. Even when I tried to shift, the uncomfortable sensation didn’t go away, and a groan escaped my lips involuntarily. At that moment, a gentle touch brushed against my stiff shoulder. As the pain intensified, the groans escaping my mouth grew louder.

“Cheongmyeong. Wake up. Your hyung is on the phone.”

Choi Hyun-oh changed his approach, gently patting my shoulder. I struggled to lift my heavy eyelids. Through my hazy vision, I could see Choi Hyun-oh’s face.

As I blinked, my blurry vision began to clear a bit more. At that moment, something hot and solid touched my ear. I instinctively placed my hand over Choi Hyun-oh’s hand, which was holding the phone, and almost instinctively answered.

“…Hello…”

– Cheongmyeong.

Ah, it’s Saheon. Just hearing his voice made me smile, even in my dazed state. Choi Hyun-oh’s hand, which I had been holding, slipped away. I gripped the phone a little tighter and sat up from my lying position.

– You drank a lot, didn’t you?

Saheon stated firmly. I decided to respond maturely, conveying that he shouldn’t worry.

“A bit… but I’m not drunk, hyung… Don’t worry. The last bus is gone, so I’ll sleep at a friend’s place.”

I heard a faint background noise, like a car driving on the road. After taking a deep breath through my nose, hyung slowly began to speak.

– Cheongmyeong, your friend’s place is in Balsan.

“Yeah…”

– …You live in Magok, Cheongmyeong. You can walk there.

Oh, I see. I can walk there. Saheon, just like Choi Hyun-oh, read my thoughts and answered.

– Yeah. You can walk there. So get ready and come down to the first floor. I’ll arrive in five minutes. Hand the phone back to him.

Quickly processing Saheon’s words in my mind, I extended the phone toward Choi Hyun-oh. After taking the phone, Choi Hyun-oh seemed to have a brief conversation with Saheon before hanging up.

“Ah…”

Choi Hyun-oh ruffled his bleached hair and let out a gloomy sigh, then, with a somewhat irritated gesture, grabbed my padding.

“We have to go home. We have to go, we have to go. I need to send you.”

Choi Hyun-oh mumbled meaningless lyrics as he skillfully helped me into my padding. Even though it was a long padding that reached my calves, I couldn’t figure out how he managed to put it on so well. As I followed his actions in a daze, Choi Hyun-oh stood me up and led me toward the front door.

After hastily shoving my shoes on, Choi Hyun-oh opened the front door. The cold air from the hallway rushed in. As I took a step forward, my body swayed, and I grabbed onto Choi Hyun-oh’s arm. He glanced at me and wrapped his arms around my waist to support me.

After taking the elevator down, I followed Choi Hyun-oh as he led the way, and the chilly wind hit my cheeks. We had stepped outside. Unlike me, who felt like laughing, Choi Hyun-oh was looking around as if searching for something.

The lights of the speeding cars approached and disappeared in a regular pattern. A few times, the headlights of a car blurred my vision, making it hard to see.

However, contrary to my expectation that it would pass quickly, the bright light continued to torment my eyes. As I squinted, Choi Hyun-oh led me closer to the road. A loud honk echoed.

A strong scent of perfume hit me. It was a familiar scent. A firm but cold arm held me tightly. I stumbled, and my legs tangled, causing my head to rest against a solid chest.

“Thank you for bringing him out. It’s late, so go inside and sleep.”

Saheon’s composed voice came from above me. Struggling to lift my head, I saw his sharp jawline. It’s hyung. It’s Saheon. I couldn’t help but smile.

“Ah, yes… Cheongmyeong, go in safely. See you tomorrow. Keep in touch.”

I nodded to show that I understood. Once the greetings seemed to be over, Saheon pulled me into the passenger seat of the stopped car. With hyung’s angular cap resting on the passenger seat, I sat down, hugging it tightly, and the soft leather seat enveloped my body.

I heard the sound of the door closing from the opposite side. I felt a gaze on me, but I didn’t have the energy to check. Hyung straightened me up, who was leaning against the cold window, and fastened my seatbelt.

With a click, a firm strap secured my body. The smile that had started to form showed no signs of stopping. Hyung sighed deeply, as if in disbelief, while turning the steering wheel to start the car.

I slowly blinked my eyes and stole a glance at hyung’s hands on the wheel. It’s Saheon. But hyung said he went to Ho Chi Minh; why is he in Seoul?

“I told you it was a quick turn. Hyung just landed in Korea at midnight, and it’s already twelve-thirty, Cheongmyeong.”

Saheon’s gentle voice somehow sounded a bit angry. He read my thoughts again. Hyung was indeed impressive.

“I’m glad you came quickly…”

If he came that quickly, did he speed? He shouldn’t speed. I voiced my concerns, but the tense atmosphere around Saheon relaxed. He let out a resigned laugh and accelerated a bit more.

Just as hyung had said, after making one right turn and two left turns, the apartment complex I had seen in the morning appeared.

Parking was done in an instant. Saheon, who unbuckled his seatbelt first, walked around to the front of the car and opened the passenger door. It was a sign for me to get up, but once I sat in such a comfortable spot, I didn’t want to move.

“We have to go.”

“…Hyung, can you carry me…?”

It would be nice if hyung could carry me. But I was no longer a child, so I decided to keep that thought to myself. Saheon’s hand, which had been chuckling, reached into the passenger seat. As the seatbelt rolled up, hyung grabbed my waist and pulled me out.

“Ugh…”

“Can’t even hold yourself up, and you say you’re strong against alcohol.”

“…I’m not…”

My vision seemed to shake up and down, and before I knew it, I was being carried on Saheon’s solid back. As hyung slipped his hand under my knees to take a stable position, I felt incredibly comfortable, almost like a koala.

“Hold on tight.”

I wrapped my arms a little more around hyung’s neck. My hand slightly crumpled hyung’s hat. The pleasant scent combined with the comfortable position made sleep gently creep in.

The slow steps created a steady tremor that further accelerated my drowsiness. Saheon, who was carrying me without a word, muttered as if in disbelief.

“Here I am, at this age, taking care of my younger brother.”

“Yeah….”

“Mungmung, aren’t you going to say thank you?”

“Thanks…. I really like it….”

A ding sounded as the elevator doors opened. I hugged Saheon’s neck a little tighter. There was a strong scent of perfume near hyung’s nape.

“…I like it…. I really like it….”

“Is that enough? You should be more grateful.”

“I really like it…. I like it…. I like you…. I really like you, hyung….”

My eyes slowly began to close. The rhythmic sound of footsteps echoed in the hallway. Suddenly, my mouth felt stuffy against hyung’s shirt. I rubbed my cheek a bit to find a comfortable angle.

I thought I heard the sound of entering a password at the front door in the quiet hallway, but Saheon kept walking. When I barely lifted my heavy eyelids to check, we had just entered the dimly lit bedroom.

My whole body sank into the soft mattress. As I naturally gathered my arms towards my chest, hyung’s hat got crumpled in my embrace.

The shoes that had been tightly wrapped around my feet slipped off. I cautiously opened my eyes. Even in the dark room, Saheon’s face was clearly visible due to the moonlight shining in from outside.

As I quietly gazed at hyung’s face, Choi Hyun-oh’s words suddenly came to mind. I had drunk the alcohol, and the atmosphere… was it good?

“The atmosphere?”

Saheon chuckled and took the hat that had been in my arms. When I was deprived of something I had been holding tightly, I felt empty. I could see Saheon’s arm next to me as I lay down. To soothe my empty embrace, I reached out towards the sleeve of hyung’s shirt and grasped his solid wrist.

Getting into the mood, I started to fidget a bit and thought about kissing him…. What else was I supposed to do? Before I knew it, my hand was massaging Saheon’s wrist.

“Hyung, don’t make it hard for me, just sleep quickly.”

I heard Saheon’s voice mixed with a faint laugh. While I was massaging hyung’s wrist, I managed to respond with an understanding.

“I don’t want to….”

Saheon, still smiling, began to remove my fingers one by one. It wasn’t even with much force, yet my fingers easily slipped away. My reluctant fingers settled on top of Saheon’s.

As I lightly bent my fingers over his, I felt hyung’s hand, with its distinct joints. A long sigh escaped me.

“You’re too much….”

Saheon wore a somewhat troubled smile. It was a smile that naturally connected to the vivid memories of that day, as if it had happened just yesterday. My heart sank. Suddenly, heat rushed to my eyes, and I squeezed them shut.

Hyung’s fingers lightly tapped my forehead, brushing my hair aside. Even with that soothing touch, there was no sign of my mood improving. A cool breeze touched my heated forehead.

After a slight delay, something warm and soft settled on my forehead. After a few seconds of stillness, I heard a light sound as it was gently lifted, and I slowly opened my eyes.

Hyung, who had bent down, was now even closer than before. With his low, curved smile hiding his eyes, hyung asked.

“…Is that enough?”

It seemed that what had touched my forehead earlier was hyung’s lips. As I blankly stared at Saheon’s lips, I slowly nodded my head.

“Yeah, that’s enough….”

At that moment, I felt a strong grip on my finger. I frowned at the sharp pain that shot through me, realizing it was because my fingers were intertwined with Saheon’s.

It hurt, but I didn’t want to let go. The soft skin at my fingertips was pressed so closely that I could feel hyung’s pulse. Hyung turned my palm over, as if to soothe the pain, and intertwined our fingers in the opposite direction. I raised my gaze to look at Saheon. Hyung was looking at me with an unreadable expression.

I met hyung’s gaze. I thought the calm stare would last quite a while, but Saheon let out a deep sigh in annoyance and straightened his bent waist.

“Lee Cheongmyeong.”

Hyung’s voice sank low, almost ominously. I was momentarily surprised by the unfamiliar tone, but then my vision went dark. It was thanks to Saheon pulling his hat down over his face.

The sharp brim of the hat covered half of my view. Another annoyed breath escaped from hyung. My anxious hands tightened their grip on Saheon’s.

Hyung’s hand, which was not held by me, gently wrapped around my neck. With my vision blocked, my senses became unnervingly heightened. The warm sensation that had touched my forehead was now felt on my lips as well.