Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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After buying the equipment, I didn’t have much money left. At most, enough to last a month. It wasn’t a small amount, but considering all the cash we’ve saved so far, yesterday’s spending was definitely hefty.

‘…I bought a sword and a staff jam-packed with engravings and circuits.’

My rank is Silver Badge, yet my gear could easily be compared to Gold. I chose something not overly flashy, so I wouldn’t draw too much attention.

The sword I would use had suitable auxiliary engravings and circuits, and as for Skylar’s… I’m not sure.

For now, the type engraved on my sword was simple and basic.

No matter how great the function, if the user can’t afford to use it, it’s basically pointless.

–

A long sword with engravings and circuits.

Basic magic was imbued.

Management, support, action… typical magic meant for a regular trainee.

But with my current skill level, it was the best I could get.

–

As I silently watched my newly bought sword, the Status Window randomly chimed in with advice.

I didn’t need that to point out that this choice was the best, and that my skills were pathetic.

I casually drew the sword and swung it.

The weight felt around 1.2kg to 1.5kg. A manageable weight for a few swings.

Having resolved my negative status, even with my weak and sickly girl frame, a few swings didn’t strain me too much.

If the battle lasted over five minutes, well, the fact that I was even holding a sword meant that the fight would end soon, whether good or bad, so it shouldn’t be a huge problem.

For someone like me, who lacked knowledge in sword maintenance, there was “Management” which automatically kept the sword clean.

For someone with no knowledge of swordplay, “Support” guided my movements.

For someone lacking in strength, technique, and health like me, “Action” provided temporary boosts.

‘…It’s custom-made.’

Thanks to a young magician’s mistake of using a real sword instead of a training sword, I got my hands on this peculiar training sword.

Lucky me, I guess.

‘Wait a minute.’

Let’s think this through. I just woke up, so my intellect isn’t fully activated yet.

Isn’t it ironic that when I’m not in my right mind, in a daze, and not feeling well, my thoughts somehow become clearer?

First, let me sort out my situation.

The negative status that was tormenting my body has been resolved. I’ve acquired a training sword that supports my actions. In other words, I’ve boosted my combat power.

– So, can I increase my stamina?

I know. This game is too unique; you can’t directly raise your stats, and there’s no level system.

But, there’s also a skill level and status system. How can I increase my stats? The answer comes quickly with just a bit of thought.

It’s simple: through repetitive training.

If you exercise, you get healthier. Endurance improves. Strength increases naturally.

Similarly, if you read, your intelligence rises. Your knowledge accumulates.

If you learn a skill, your skill level goes up. You can pick locks. You learn how to draw a bow.

‘…I’ll work hard.’

To be honest, I’ve lived a life far from effort.

Just reading a book once means I remember everything, and studying through textbooks would get me perfect scores every time. I didn’t need to earn money; just dabbling in forex and stocks brought in a safe 5-8% a year.

It feels a bit awkward to say this, but my looks back when I was a guy weren’t subpar compared to others.

I was quite tall, not bad-looking, had a good educational background, a job, and earned decent money, clearly above average… no, probably in the top 1%.

Given my perfect body and face, I might have succeeded even if I didn’t go into computer science but pursued the humanities.

Well, this is drifting into narcissism.

But I’m only stating facts.

Honestly, even now, I’m very beautiful and perfect. It’s worth a high score considering there are some shortcomings.

True perfection shines brighter because of its flaws. Perhaps the reason the clever guy I used to be made my body like this was intentional?

“…That’s a rather unpleasant smile.”

“Hmm?”

“What on earth were you imagining that made you smile like that?”

“I was smiling?”

“Yes.”

“I was drawing up plans for the future in my head.”

“From your expression, it looked like you were picturing having three kids in your imagination.”

“That’s sexual harassment.”

“Well.”

If it were the old me, my face would have turned beet red, and I would’ve gotten really angry at what Skylar just said. But he seemed totally unfazed and diverted the subject.

Given he’d already started a fuss, I wanted to make Skylar a little upset too, but… I held back. I’m an adult! I won’t fall for the provocations of a child!

Skylar slightly frowned.

Perhaps being quick-witted, he sensed me treating him like a kid. Let’s change the topic quickly.

“Skylar.”

“…Yeah.”

“What about the staff you bought? What functions does it have?”

“It’s simple. You can save scrolls in advance and activate them instantly later. That’s all. Honestly, it looks like it won’t be of much use, though…”

Sure, activating a scroll requires a motion right before triggering it. Infusing magic is such an obvious action that even I could see it and dodge.

It’s not just that my eyesight is special; my physical abilities would allow me to dodge it, which is concerning.

Skylar is definitely a strong wizard.

Even now, without a heart, he’s still plenty strong. I’ve felt that comparing him to other Silver Badge wizards.

He’s at a level that could challenge a Gold Badge adventurer. But what if Skylar can activate a scroll instantly? That’s reassuring.

‘…Maybe I can rely on him a bit more.’

I’ve already entrusted him with a lot, but perhaps it wouldn’t hurt to depend on him a bit more.

I know it’s a frail thought, but isn’t it okay to lean on someone else a little?

I was hesitating. While my head understood that thinking alone, making plans alone, and acting alone was the right thing to do.

If I told Skylar all my secrets, shared everything I know, and just followed his lead without any thoughts… wouldn’t that lead me down the right path?

Like a sheep being chased by a shepherd dog.

– No, wait, I don’t think that’s right.

“So, where’s our next destination?”

“…The first thing I want to get is the ‘left hand.’”

“But that would mean killing your sister.”

“That’s a minor issue. At this point… I don’t even think of her as family anymore.”

“Check if there are any crows around before you say that. It’s scary.”

“I always check.”

“…I see.”

“Anyway, convincing Propertyius and Nisha is fine. If they can definitely get rid of the Mad King, they’ll side with me. But Osidens is an exception. She’s unpredictable, way too strong, and there’s no talking to her.”

“What if I persuade her?”

“Persuasion and charm assume the other party is rational. Can you rationally convince a lunatic?”

“Yeah, that won’t work.”

“Build up your strength until you can take down Osidens and gather connections, then try again. That’s the best option.”

“Or, you could ask her to help you find your heart.”

“An unpredictable ally is more dangerous than an enemy. Especially if they’re close to me.”

“I’ve heard there are four ‘Witches of Defense.’ What about the other three witches besides Osidens? Are they reasonable? Or are they your former comrades too?”

“Not at all. They’re all complete strangers. Honestly, aside from Osidens, I’m not even sure if they exist.”

“…Is there no way?”

“Well, if that cat cooperates, then maybe, but it hasn’t said a word.”

Clearly, the Emperor’s observers with physical presence, particularly the face, are quite powerful. Their capabilities are impressive enough to be wasted just on monitoring and guarding.

What if that fellow now imitating a cat completely cooperated with us?

I might easily hunt down the weaker humans who are body holders.

Even if I don’t really like hunting, I could add the option of persuading through force.

“Hey, want to cooperate?”

“…Meow.”

“Oh my.”

Did that guy just say “meow” by himself while trying to imitate a cat? Is he out of his mind? No matter how much it’s the Emperor’s orders, doesn’t he have any pride?

After all, we saw him turn into the cat. Was there any need for that?

The cat shyly averted its blue eyes.

…Is it embarrassed right now?

“If it’s in that state, we can’t expect cooperation. Besides, the Emperor seems like she’s planning to kill the Mad King without needing our assistance.”

“…Why?”

“She could dispatch an army to forcibly bring in body holders if she wanted. But upon meeting her directly, she doesn’t appear very passionate about collecting bodies.”

“It’s indeed strange that the biggest empire in the West has fewer body holders than the Mad King.”

“Let’s think about tomorrow when tomorrow comes. For now, it’s late.”

“Okay.”

We merely covered ourselves with the blanket and drifted off to sleep.

Then, I realized something unusual.