Surviving as a Useless Bard in a Game

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There are a lot of people in the back alleys of Regan.

In the first place, ‘back alley’ has a slightly different meaning here in Regan than what we know.

If it were another somewhat larger city, there would be areas with poor security, forming places that fall outside the lord’s control. But where exactly is this place?

‘…A place controlled by the Emperor.’

In other words, it’s a place that the Emperor himself deemed useful and decided not to cross the line with, and where the residents of the back alley are also looking out for the Emperor.

So, simply put, the back alley of Regan isn’t particularly dangerous, and there’s no crime happening; it’s just one of the streets.

The name back alley is just a symbol.

Here, the Empire will exercise ‘loose control.’

They’ll manage it similarly to other locations but with slightly more equality.

Yeah. The Emperor created a street for entertainment, tax evasion, corruption, and information that he can control and manage in his own front yard. It was a clever idea.

“…Can we really find information about the body there?”

“I already know a few things about the body’s information and materials. You saw it yourself.”

“Right.”

Left hand, Osidens.

Right hand, Propertyius.

Achilles’ heel, Nisha.

Heart, brain, Eyal.

We already knew where five bodies were located. If we wanted to, we could go find them right now.

‘Winning or losing and whether we can persuade them. That’s a different issue, though.’

…So, there’s really no reason to go after information? Since we know the general locations of the bodies? Then what’s the reason for going to the back alley?

“Just to buy some equipment?”

“…I think I’ve become a bit sharper lately.”

“I’ve always been sharp.”

“Not at all.”

“Not true.”

“…Alright, let’s count it as that.”

“That’s not ‘let’s count it’—I’m telling you I’m sharp!”

Skylar immediately shut his mouth and hurried his steps. I closely followed behind him, with the Gray Cat trailing after me.

It felt like we were all running in circles, each trying to catch our own tail.

I felt slightly bad about not wanting to deal with a bothersome person, but… I understood the feeling. Sometimes I feel like my own actions and words are exhausting, so I could only imagine how others felt.

‘More than that cat… it’s really bugging me.’

Having previously owned a cat, I was well aware of that breed.

Luxurious gray fur and shiny sapphire eyes, Russian Blue. I had no idea why a cat breed from reality even existed in this world.

I wondered if it thought it was secretly tailing me unnoticed…

‘It’s pretty obvious.’

It had the vibe of a cat following its owner around in a park without a leash. It was painfully clear when people’s attention and curiosity occasionally gathered on us.

Can’t I just turn off my Bard senses during times like this?

I liked receiving attention from others. Enjoying it. But now they only seemed interested in me because of the cat.

Not because of my appearance!

Yeah. I’d prefer to draw attention because of myself. If people were looking at me due to someone else’s influence, that’s embarrassing.

If a performer can’t attract attention as themselves and can only bask in the reflected glow of another performer, then they aren’t a performer.

My head was crowded with thoughts, the cat was cute, and Skylar was quick.

Before I knew it, we had arrived at the entrance of the back alley.

—

Back alley (Regan).

The back alley in Regan…

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“I know. Skylar already explained it.”

I swiped away the Status Window and looked at the ‘signboard’ of the back alley.

“…Skylar, do back alleys usually have signboards? Clearly saying ‘Back Alley’?”

“Normally, they don’t.”

The entrance of the back alley had a strange sign saying ‘Regan Central Traditional Back Alley.’ It even had a roof to shield from rain and magic lights illuminating the interior…!

It felt less like a back alley and more akin to a bustling district or traditional market.

‘Should I have figured it out when I saw the back alley advertisements and information signs on the way here…?’

In fact, if this were a normal back alley—or rather, it felt like the meaning of a normal alley had shifted a little. There’s usually a certain image, right? When you hear the term back alley, what kind of thoughts come to mind?

Scary, dark, filled with crime, hidden places only a select few know about! That kind of romantic!

‘…What a wake-up call.’

No, really, if you were to nitpick, a ‘hidden shop sought after by a select few in a scary place’ would just be a ‘store teetering on the brink of bankruptcy.’

But, you know, romance is… about image and expectations. Was I just expecting it wrong?

With magic-infused neon signs glowing defiantly and no darkness due to lights hanging from the ceiling, and with no crime because everyone was too busy keeping an eye on the Emperor, it clearly lacked any sense of being creepy, and they even had promotional banners in the back alley?

‘Do these people have no pride at all?’

Sure. Maybe they can bend their pride a bit for money. What was I expecting? After all, the traders in the underworld weren’t really “underworld” traders, but just “traders” of the underworld.

“Skylar, so what are you planning to do? We already have the information, and you said you wouldn’t sell any information about the body here.”

“Let’s empty our pockets and buy some equipment.”

“…Really?”

“Yeah. I think it’s about time to loosen up our savings. I mean, I say savings, but… I spent quite a bit when I was making the mask.”

“Ugh… I’m sorry.”

“It was necessary. No regrets. Since the moment the Emperor and Framea turned out to be the same person, we had no way out.”

Yeah. The mask Skylar made was definitely quite high-performance.

The problem was that our opponent had seen our identities once before when they were a Platinum Adventurer.

Anyway, does this mean it’s finally time to buy some equipment? Finally!

I was still using a dagger I bought at a slightly high price in the village near the Forest of Songs. I thought it was about time to change it up.

“What kind of equipment are we talking about?”

“All of it…?”

“Really?”

“Yeah. All of it.”

Is this guy, who is usually so frugal, suddenly spending a lot since coming to Regan? Did the luxurious city change his mind?

It’s like how someone who isn’t interested in luxury items suddenly yearns for them when they visit the first floor of a department store, the luxury section.

Anyway, adventurers generally invest a lot in their equipment, so it’s not that much of a luxury.

Feeling a bit more cheerful, I grabbed Skylar’s hand and pulled him along.

“W-wait a minute!”

“Let’s go quickly! It’s late, and we need to buy stuff fast!”

“No, it’s… my hand!”

“What’s wrong with it?”

And so we entered the back alley.

I could hear the cat crying behind us.

The inside of the back alley was as extravagant as it appeared from the outside.

Vibrant hues of magic brightly colored the streets, and merchants called out loudly to passersby to come into their shops.

Display cases held anything from dazzling jewels and accessories to dark, dull armors and weapons.

‘…A holy place for adventurers.’

Now I understood why the Adventurer’s Guild in Regan is the largest and why the gear of the adventurers stationed there was all so flashy.

“Selina.”

“Yeah?”

“It looks like you’ve already been looking around quite a bit. What do you want to buy?”

“…A sword!”

“If it’s a dagger—”

“No, I mean a long sword.”

“You need training to properly handle a long sword that’s just slightly shorter than your height. And we don’t have the luxury of that. It’s better to keep moving constantly.”

“I can handle it fine.”

“I don’t believe you. If you gained confidence just because you managed to take down a few mages with the two scrolls I used against you, that’s just a delusion. I’m not a proper wizard.”

“It’s only a little over 1kg. I can swing it.”

“If you don’t swing it with enough force and precision, it won’t cut. Besides, there are plenty of easy-to-handle blunt weapons or polearms, and if you really can’t give up on the sword, just use a stabbing sword.”

“I can’t be the one in the front anyway.”

“…That’s true.”

“If a Bard is up front, it’s probably a bad situation, right? Adventurers are often fighting in forests or rough terrain.”

“……Do as you wish.”

“Sure.”

My insistence on the sword was simple.

Simply because it looks cool.

If I were to be honest, there was one more reason.

Using a sword is the most common thing.

Just like memorizing all the skills of every character in a game — if you know how to use it, you can predict how your opponent will approach you.

For someone like me with ‘good eyes,’ seeing things is easy.

Only the problem was my mistakes from the opponent being too fast.

As long as I could have a rough idea of the trajectory in advance, I’d at least not die from an aimless sword strike. That’s what I concluded.