Star Wars : New Jedi

"No. Not really." Kyle felt old for a moment. "The Dark Side thrives on conflict, on people fighting. Not only themselves, but others. Sith, they feed off that, violence brings violence. I've gone there and came back with the help of others.

I've been so angry that I was blinded to nothing but petty revenge." He wondered how he would have reacted if Jan's death hadn't been faked. Would Luke have saved him, or killed him before he became what Jerec and Fayar wanted to be?

...

"But the Dark Side...? It consumes. And in me it fed on itself because I had given up on holding on to the Light." He had their attention. "But when a person who I thought was killed, whose death drove me to hate, turns out she wasn't, the Dark Side, it had nothing left to burn.

But it stayed with me, embers. I couldn't get rid of it as the fear of what happened stayed with me. So instead, I learned to live with it. To not hold on to my anger or hate, but to let it stay there, without fighting it."

"Then how are you sure you will not Fall again?" Ki-Adi-Mundi said, playing his role perfectly.

"Because Falling means changing who you are, rejecting the Light while embracing the Dark. I can't do that, so I accept both. And because I do that, the Light Side gives me the strength I need to accept my Darkness. Not keep it in check, not to fight it, because the Dark Side revels in such things, but to be at peace with it, and with me."

"Believe you, I do." Yoda said. "Long your journey has been. Encouraging it is. Later, more I would hear."

"As would I," Mace agreed, his own self feeling the clarion call of Kyle's words.

"I am reserved," Plo Koon said. "But I will trust the Grand Master in this regard. You came to Coruscant. Why?"

"Making a delivery to Senator Mon Mothma on behalf of Master Luke," Kyle said, then mentally slapped himself for the namedrop. "No, I don't know what was in it. Not my place." He couldn't lie about that, as it would be too easy to prove it.

"If I asked you where your were trained, would you tell us?" Shaak Ti asked.

"Sorry, no can do." Kyle said. Even if he did, the Temple wouldn't be established there for what, another twenty five years or more? "No offence, Master Ti." He responded to kindness with the same, ready for Ki-Adi-Mundi's next round. He wouldn't get angry with the Jedi who was just playing the part.

"None taken."

"May I see your lightsaber?" Mace asked.

"Sure, if I can see yours." Kyle put one hand over his weapon, glad he still had the pistol on him. "I'm still a Jedi, and I'm not just going to give up my saber on your say-so."

Mace didn't object. "Very well." He pulled out his, and held it out. Kyle undid his from the belt and tossed it at the other Jedi, catching the other in the process. Curious, he looked at the emitter crystal.

"Purple?" He asked, not wanting to turn it on.

Windu, on the other hand, did, activating Kyle's saber casually, examining the handle and the blade carefully. "Yes. It was a reward, a thank you. You have a synthetic crystal."

"Yep. Not a lot of access to the natural ones." Synthetic or natural. Didn't really make a difference to Kyle. Natural ones had the force naturally imbued into them while the synthetic ones were crafted by the Jedi in question to suit their needs. Each had their advantages and disadvantages "For what it's worth, that's my third light saber. The first was green, and inherited given to me via my father from a friend," Qu Rahn... he would still be alive, wouldn't he? "The second I took off a Redeemed Jedi after the first was destroyed. That's the one I built."

"Redeemed?" Plo Koon asked. "You have experience with such things it seems."

"Deceive us, he does not. Hide things, he does." Yoda announced.

"I do. I saved his life when I could have killed him, and he returned the favour." If he loaned Yun's crystals to the Jedi, would they be able to learn to spot the Sith construction involved? That was something for another time.

"If you are not a member of our Order, what made you come to our Temple?" Ki-Adi-Mundi demanded as Mace turned off Kyle's weapon, and the two exchanged them again. Kyle made a point of securing his first before answering the Master.

"I was originally planning on checking out some information at the Library, the Archives," he corrected himself. "But with the declaration of War, and when I found out about the deaths, I chose to pay my respects. So, after my delivery, my pilot and I hopped over here. She should be in the Archives now," he saw the look they gave each other, and Kyle raised his head to the ceiling. "Hey! You guys watching on the security feed! You can watch Jan if you want, but don't interrupt her, please?"

Windu coughed. "You have done us no harm, I don't see why we should do the same to you."

"Thanks. But yea, I arrived, and the people who greeted us were so overloaded they thought I was just another Master here for the service. So rather than make waves, I let them guide me, loan me the robes," he tugged at the clothes he wore, "and I attended the service you gave."

"So you let the people of this Temple perpetuate a misunderstanding in order to avoid aggravating the situation? To pay your respects in peace?" Shaak Ti asked, almost sounding impressed. "Your skills are excellent. If underhanded."

"Yes, and thanks." Kyle said, accepting the backhanded compliment. "Master Jecinda figured me out, but accepted I was here in peace."

"We will have to review our protocols," Windu said, noting it for later. "While the Temple is open to the public, we will need to see if we can make it more secure against infiltration."

"You can try," Kyle pointed out, "but nothing is infiltration proof. "Someone will be able to get in if they are determined enough."

"Be that as it may, it will serve as a deterrent for those with less skill." Plo Koon conceded.

"Your future, uncertain it is." Yoda mused from where he let the others talk. "Jedi, yet not. Light. Dark. Confusing you are."

"Some days I confuse myself," Kyle said humorously.

"Intentions. What are they?" The Grand master asked of him.

"At this point? Not much. I..." Kyle faltered. "Look, I'm not a threat to you. To the Jedi. I'm just someone else, a man with a lightsaber." How often had he used a variant on that line? "As for the Clone Wars? I need to talk things over with Jan before we do anything."

"Your pilot?" Shaak Ti confirmed. "Why? Would you not return to your Master or fellows before deciding on a course of action?"

Kyle was trapped in the story he wove. Cursing himself, he fought to find a way to tell the truth without making a bigger mess of things. "Yes, she's my pilot. Not that I can't fly myself, she's just better. And having a second person has helped out a lot in the past. Besides, I didn't say I wasn't going to either." He felt flat at that, but knew it was the best he could give when put on the spot like that.

"And what of your others?" Ki-Adi-Mundi demanded. "Will they rejoin the Order in our time of need?"

"Not with an attitude like that!" Kyle shot back, having to remind the Master that being the 'bad' Jedi still had its limits.

"Would you be willing, yourself – not committing any others, to aiding the Jedi Order?" Mace asked carefully, cutting to the crux of the issue. "With the losses we have incurred, any help would be welcome, no matter the orthodoxy."

"Surely you're not saying we should ask the Corellians!" Ki-Adi-Mundi spoke. "They will stay on their world and defend it."

Kyle remembered Corran Horn, a Corellian who had joined the New Jedi Order to bring their teachings to Luke, who in turn incorporated some of them into his Order. "You could ask," he said, not sure of the response. It took the Empire crushing all the Jedi for them to leave their world behind. "But that's not something that I can help you out with."

"You haven't answered the question," Mace said. "I would like an answer."

Kyle wanted to say 'Yes'. His knowledge of the future could be invaluable. But what he knew was tainted by the Empire. And if it was just himself, he would have done so, to lend his skills to the cause, to find some way to fight back the encroaching Empire. But he had to think about Jan and her wants as well. There was no way to make that sort of decision without her input.

"I can't answer that right now, Master Windu. There's too much to think about to decide on a rash course of action."

"Wise," Yoda responded. "Murky, the future is. Meditate on it."

"Meditation sounds like a good idea. But not here." Kyle already had an idea of what he could do. "Hey, Master Windu, can I ask you something?"

"Of course."

"That speech you gave earlier. Why?"

"Why what?"

Kyle found the words in himself. "You spoke as though the idea of sacrifice was one to strive toward. But what do you, do the Jedi Order value that they are willing to give up for the sake of the Republic? By your own admission, your own words, you have already given up everything except that which makes you Jedi – the Force, essentially. Your message tried to be a good one, but I think you cribbed your notes from someone else who was speaking to people who had things to loose. Sure, duty is all well and good, but how many people in this building understand what the other half is?"

"They are one and the same," Windu defended himself.

"No, they're not. Sacrifice is a negative thing, you are giving something up, with no guarantee that you get something in return, let alone that it was worth it. Duty gives people a reason to act when all else fails them. In hindsight, I think, your aim with that speech was a little off."

"You think you know better?" Ki-Adi-Mundi retorted, only for Shaak Ti to glare right back at him.

Kyle didn't deign that with a response. Of course he did. He'd actually fought – life or death – before.

"I think," Plo Koon said, sensing a growing tension in many people present, "that this conversation has run its course. Even if you have no long term plans you wish to share with us, would you be willing to return before this council in a couple weeks? We have much to discuss, and one Jedi, no matter how powerful or esoteric, cannot take up the whole of our time. There is still a war, despite certain differences in opinion."

"A couple weeks? Yea, I can do that. I probably won't be on Coruscant though." Kyle knew there were somethings he wanted to do that Jan wouldn't object too. It was a lot of other stuff though. "Say, 15 days?"

Yoda nodded. "Agreement, we are in. To this Council, return you shall."

"If you return sooner," Shaak Ti offered, do not hesitate to come to us. Even if the full council cannot be brought together, we can still discuss the details."

"Good enough for me." Kyle took a half step back, then bowed to the Masters. "By your leave."

...

( Raven's Claw )

Once they were aboard, Kyle and Jan secured the ship and scanned it over for any bugs or other listening devices. It wasn't likely that someone had placed some on the ship, but they were too professional to take the chance. Even Kyle's clothes were left outside as he kept the Jedi robes on.

So he related what transpired in the Council Chamber.

"That's it?" Jan said. "Really? No duels, no yelling, no dropping a smoke grenade and running for our lives? All you did was feel each other out?"

"Well, once it was determined that I wasn't going to go on a murderous rampage across the Temple, there wasn't a lot they could do," Kyle replied. "They can't exactly order me to turn over my lightsaber and report to an interrogation chamber. And no one wanted a fight."

"Still, it was a huge risk you took." Jan chided Kyle. "Meeting with the High Council?"

"They're more confused about me than anything else. And it's a bad time for everyone."

"That's obvious." Jan rolled her eyes. "So, now what?"

"Now, I think we make a list." Kyle said. "Gotta have our priorities straight, you know?"

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