PERSONAL

Chapter 5: Clarice Arc Part 3 of 3

Angelica's POV

Leon convinced someone to persuade Jilk to talk with Clarice. Who he asked for help from was beyond me. I couldn't think of anyone who could force Jilk to confront troublesome issues.

Leon mentioned that he was pretty sure that Jilk would show up at some point but that we were likely in it for the long haul. He offered to shoot Jilk's kneecaps to prevent him from running. I knew Leon was joking, but the joke seemed more viable with each passing day. Clarice considered Leon's offer seriously.

Speaking of Clarice, she and her followers had become regulars at Leon's tea room. It had been something Leon suggested as a means to console the girl and to make it easier for Jilk to find her 'when he grew the balls' to talk to her. I was initially doubtful about how helpful it would be since I doubt Clarice would have been in the mood to consider the offer.

I was proven wrong on that front quickly. I only had to dangle the prospect that Jilk might show up for Clarice to start showing up. It was most fortunate that we had gotten involved when we did. Clarice had been planning to drown the pain with pleasure. She had been in the process of purchasing some elves and beastmen.

Leon's admonishments dissuaded her from following through. She was forced to recognize that drowning herself in lust wouldn't dull the pain and wouldn't change Jilk's disposition. It would only bring shame upon her family as she would be 'sullied'. Her followers would be forced to bear the pain of witnessing someone they admired hurt herself repeatedly. It would destroy her sense of self-worth.

In a last-ditch effort to drown out the pain in a more 'respectable' manner, she tried to pull Leon towards her. I didn't know if I wanted Leon to reciprocate at this point since I was scared of what a rejection could push her to do.

Leon leaned in, but he didn't capture her lips. He held her in a hug, and he told her that he didn't want to hurt her. After a few moments of struggling, she relented and return the embrace. They stayed that way until Clarice fell asleep. Her followers carried her out.

After that first meeting, Clarice showed up every day. She stopped sobbing, but she was always gloomy. I figured it was the best we could do for now. Even though I wanted to do more, I knew that neither Leon nor I could do more. We needed to wait on Jilk. That was something I wouldn't hold my breath on.

It was after three weeks had passed when Jilk finally decided to make an appearance. Leon, Clarice, her followers, and I were sitting down awkwardly discussing how midterm exam preparations were coming along when we heard feet shuffling outside the door.

....

Leon's POV

I opened the door to let Jilk in. When I saw the pretty boy, I wanted to deck him in the face for taking so long. Better late than never I suppose, but I was seriously considering hunting him down since he was taking so long.

"It's about time," I gruffed out.

Jilk looked surprised initially when he saw me. Marie must not have told who convinced her to talk to him. Though Jilk was smart enough to realize that I had orchestrated these events since I was expecting him.

"I apologize. I_"

"Don't apologize to me. You're not here for me," I said as I gestured for him to come in.

"I suppose that is true," he said with a sigh as he walked in.

Looking into the room, I saw that Clarice was going through a gambit of emotions. Her eyes seemed desperately hopeful that Jilk had come to his senses, her posture indicated her acceptance of what was happening, and the quivering could have been anger and/or the desire to run.

Angie calmly set her tea down, but I could tell she was seething on the inside. Not wanting her presence to scare off Jilk, I asked, "Angie, I hate to be rude, but would you mind making yourself scarce? I believe that our guest may want some privacy."

Taking the hint, Angie acquiesced and walked out without looking at Jilk more than necessary.

Jilk quizically looked at me. I was having none of it and gestured for him to sit in front of Clarice. Seeing I would not give him an out, he hesitantly sat down. I refused to offer him tea.

"Jilk?" Clarice asked with a hint of desperation.

"I'm sorry, Clarice. I never meant to hurt you."

"Then why wouldn't you talk with me? Why did you leave me alone to suffer?"

"I was hoping to minimize the pain you would feel. I was hoping you would have come to hate me. I thought it would have lessened the pain if you could have just come to hate me. I never thought you would have fallen so far into despair. I never wanted that for you."

"I was going to be hurt no matter how you did it! You were casting me aside with no explanation! Your being with Marie wasn't what hurt me... I could stand the thought of sharing you with another... That was something I always knew could happen... So long as I could be with you, I would have been fine... But you threw me away... I couldn't bear with that..." Clarice said haltingly as her emotions began to overwhelm her.

"I'm sorry, Clarice. I know it doesn't mean much, but that's the only thing I can truly offer you," Jilk said with his head bowed.

"Just don't throw me away, Jilk! I beg of you! I said it before, and I'll say it again! You can have the Lafan girl! You can have as many mistresses as you want! Just please don't leave me!"

"I can't do that. After finally coming to understand what love is, I just can't do that. I love Marie, and I just can't bear the idea of not giving her my full undivided love," Jilk passionately said with a pained expression. It was almost as if had loved Clarice once.

"What about my love? Why couldn't it have been me? I gave you my heart! I supported every endeavor and hobby you pursued! I did everything I could to show my love! Why her?"

"I cared for you deeply, but I couldn't bring myself to love you. There must have been... there must still be something wrong with me for being unable to reciprocate your feelings. Even now I can't understand why I didn't fall for you. It wasn't something you did. I was just broken inside. If I had never met Marie, I'm sure you would have eventually fixed me. But in the end, Marie... mended that aspect of me. Now I just can't help but be in love with Marie."

Clarice just cried silently as she finally realized that nothing could convince Jilk to stay with her.

Jilk continued speaking when it was evident that Clarice wouldn't regain the composure to speak to Jilk.

"I'm sorry. I know it won't solve anything in a meaningful way for you, but I have to take responsibility for my failings. I'm planning on stepping down from my position as the Marmoria heir that way when our engagement breaks I will bear the brunt of the consequences. Your family will be compensated and people will know that our engagement fell through because I was unfit. I won't let you take the fall for something that is my fault," Jilk said calmly with a resigned expression.

I couldn't help but feel a little respect for Jilk. I still hated his guts, but at least he was taking action to save Clarice's reputation. Maybe Jilk did genuinely care for Clarice at one point. He could have just as easily broken off the engagement without thinking about Clarice's situation. I'm certain Marie only pushed him enough to clear the air. She couldn't make him care for another.

"So you would go that far for, Marie?" Clarice said weakly.

"Yes."

"Just leave. I'm just tired of all of this."

"I'm sorry for not being the man you deserved," Jilk said as he rose from his seat.

I decided to ask one last question before Jilk left.

"Before you go, should I be concerned for the other fiancees from your group?"

"Bartfort? No. As far as I am aware, Greg and Chris's fiancees were never close with them. Brad's fiancee... is unpleasant, to say the least. I wouldn't recommend interacting with her."

"Have they at least talked with their fiancees?"

"Much to my shame, Greg and Chris already have. They both stepped down from their positions as heirs as well. They did so right after Marie had told us to settle things with the girls. I can only take solace in the fact that Brad hasn't as of yet. He's hoping that his fiancee will do something to violate the terms of their engagement."

So Marie decided to go above and beyond what I had asked of her. I had only cared about Clarice, but she interpreted my words to cover everyone. That or she realized that having the backlash minimized was more beneficial. I should get her something to thank her, even though she caused all this heartache.

"I see. Then I suppose that's that?"

"Not quite," Jilk said with narrowed eyes.

That was odd. The most interaction I expected to have with Jilk was a thank you for dragging him here, or a curt warning about staying away from Marie. The way he looked at me made me think it was something more serious.

"What's left?" I asked nervously.

"How did you come about meeting Angelica?"

"It was pretty early on in the semester. She wanted to talk to me since I was recently promoted."

"And I would be correct to assume that you two have been meeting regularly given the nickname?"

"She's an avid fan of the adventurous lifestyle," I said with a shrug.

Jilk frowned at my response, but why though? My encounters with Angie had been nothing short of respectable. While I would never admit to the teasing since it could be taken the wrong way, we were just... I didn't have a word for it, but there was nothing illicit with our relationship.

"You should distance yourself from Angelica. While the gossip of you two isn't particularly scandalous at the moment since most people know that Angelica has a particularly strong sense of adventure, the repercussions of those rumors can be quite severe if it were ever to become less than innocent."

"You expect me to push away Angie for something like that?"

"It really would be in the best interest of both of you. Angelica is the prince's fiancee. It's not just a title to be taken lightly."

"How hypocritical."

"Excuse me?"

"Marie and the prince?"

"I can assure you that the prince has been nothing less than honorable with her. He has observed the appropriate distance," Jilk fumed.

"Well I can assure you that I have been nothing less than honorable with Angie," I said as I opened the door.

"I see that I can't change your mind. But if I may make a couple of suggestions? Don't call her by her nickname in public. Your overfamiliarity will breed rumors. Also, you should pledge your house to hers. While there will always be people who think you and Angelica are having an affair, at least you can legitimize your contact with her. Just think about it," Jilk said before departing.

I quickly closed the door and took a seat. Dealing with Jilk just reminded me how much I hated the love interests. Unfortunately, Jilk's warning made me think that I might have to deal with them in the future. Those hypocritical bastards.

"Thank you, Leon. I'm sorry you had to deal with something so unsightly. I've caused you so much trouble over this," Clarice whispered tiredly to me. I had forgotten she was still here.

"It was no trouble," I lied easily.

"But it must have been. We've done everything we could think of to get him here, and nothing worked," one of Clarice's followers (Dan?) said angrily.

"As I said before, it was no trouble. I'm fairly adept at knowing how to twist someone's arm."

"How did you get the girl to force the issue with Jilk?" Clarice asked.

"Juggling the affections of five noble heirs is bound for disaster especially if any prior engagements were not properly settled appropriately. While I doubt any of the fiancees would resort to anything too drastic, Marie does not. I merely appealed to her sense of self-preservation. It is a shame for her though. More than half her paramours have lost all their resources by stepping down as heirs," I said with a chuckle at the end.

Things worked out more amusingly than I had expected. I had a feeling that Marie was in it for the money and lifestyle given her description of Jilk. Having so much of her work suddenly become worthless was somehow gratifying. At least I wouldn't feel bad since she could rely on Brad and Julius's fortune to support herself and the boys. She just wouldn't be living the dream anymore.

"I suppose that's something to laugh about," Clarice said softly, but with the first smile that I had seen on her face.

She was beautiful, and Jilk was a fool for going for the loli.

"Thank you for the compliment," Clarice said with a laugh.

"Did I say that out loud?"

"And those were your private thoughts. Even better. It's a shame that you are taken."

"I'm taken? By whom?"

"By Angie," Clarice said with a note of hesitation.

"Did Angie say something along those lines?"

Was Angie interested in me? I wouldn't lie and say that the prospect didn't interest me. I just didn't consider it since I was just a mob and she was the daughter of a Duke. Regardless of her role in the plot or the fact that Julius was going to throw her away for Marie, it was a gap that I could never hope to overcome.

"No. It's just that I've never seen Angie take a particular interest in anyone, and I've never seen you interact with any girls. I had assumed that you weren't trying because you and Angie had found each other."

"Angie does have an interest in interacting with people. She has been scouring the school for people to befriend. She mentioned that she didn't want anyone who saw the Redgrave name. Pretty poor place to look, to be honest."

"And yourself? Why have you not sought out anyone?"

"I suppose it has to do with my father's legitimate wife. Zola was a real piece of work. Tried to sell me off in marriage to one of her lady friends, kill me off by sending me off to work in the army rather than attend this school, and collect the pension to live in luxury in the capital. Bitch was planning to do the same for my younger brother. Ironically, I suppose I should thank her for being such a piece of shit. If it weren't for her, I would never have gone adventuring to acquire the money to tell her to shove off."

"That's horrible. I had heard rumors, but I hadn't thought that the Forest of Ladies truly existed."

"Yeah, and unfortunately everything they do is above the board despite being frowned upon. But I digress. The girls here are just like her. Potentially worse since they physically beat the boys here."

"So that's why..." she looked morosely into her empty cup of tea.

I got up to refill it. As I was doing so, I continued by saying, "She's not the only reason."

Clarice looked up in curiosity.

"I was willing to settle originally because I had thought that it was just the way things worked. Then I met Angie. She was not like the other girls. Kind, caring, funny, etc. Name a positive trait and she had it. I guess she made me realize that there were good women out there. That I could do better. Meeting you just reassured me that Angie wasn't the exception to the rule."

I might have said something unnecessary at the end, but it was the truth. I would not settle for anyone less than Angie or Clarice's level of personality. I refused to marry someone cruel like Zola.

"I see. So you're looking for someone like us," Clarice said with starry eyes. She must have thought the whole situation romantic.

"It's an impossible dream I'm sure, but something I would like to make a reality in the future. I'm fine with never meeting that someone, but I can always hold out."

"What makes it so impossible? You're a good man. I'm certain that you'll find love."

"I suppose it's because I'm just a background character in the end."

"A background character? But you are one of the rising stars of this Kingdom!"

"One's family and rank are all that matters in this world. I'm from the illegitimate line of my household. Until I set off on my own, I wasn't to inherit anything. Even when I succeeded, I was placed at the worst rank possible for nobles, and I entered the school at the same time as the crown prince and his entourage. My achievements were overshadowed and spat on."

"Please don't ever put yourself down like that again or I will slap you. Then I'll tell Angie so that she can slap you back to your senses," Clarice said angrily.

"I'm not putting myself down. I'm just stating the reality of my situation. This world is not kind. I just had the rotten luck of being born on the bottom rung," I said with a startled tone. I was used to the morose Clarice. I was not used to seeing her behave so passionately.

"There's more to a man than just his lineage. A man's worth is his character and his actions. You're a kind man. You helped me through my worst when I had nothing to offer. You stopped me from making the single worst mistake of my life. I know you did it because Angie asked you, but your actions saved me. So as you have helped me, please follow the advice you gave me. Value yourself more. If you can't do it for yourself, please do it for the sake of those who care for you."

I felt my throat dry. I never experienced this before. I don't think I had someone ever fight for me before. Sure I had family that loved me before, but they never took my side. The closest I had in support to this level was when Dad funded my expedition, and that was only because he rathered I died a free man. Outside of that, I was the one at fault. Any conflict or situation that occurred around me was my fault because of my personality or because I was the untalented one. This was the truth I had lived with in this life and the one before. I had no idea how to react to such a pure expression of care.

"I'll try."

Clarice smiled at my response before the exhaustion hit her again. She rose to leave and said, "I think it's about time I left. I think I'll be able to sleep well tonight."

"I see... Pleasant dreams."

"You know ranks can be changed, Leon. You've already done it once," Clarice said quietly before she left.

AN:

1) Tried to make Jilk sound like a half-decent person compared to the canon by having him acknowledge that he is a warped individual incapable of appreciating Clarice as he knows he should, and by having him take the initiative in setting the consequences for himself (stepping down and thinking about how to reduce the impact on Clarice). Still hard to like the guy since he broke someone's heart and handled the situation so poorly.

2) Figured Jilk would warn Leon off because his top priority is Julius. Leon wooing Angelica just looks bad for the prince no matter the context. He would also be so narrow-minded as to not think how hypocritical his advice is. Added the advice as a form of gratitude from Jilk for Leon kicking his ass into gear. Whether or not Leon follows it is something I'll decide later.

3) Debating if I should have Clarice seriously pursue Leon since I'm not sure if I want to make this a single pairing story or have Leon with more girls. I've left it open in this chapter for now.

4) Wanted to explore more into Leon's mob mentality a bit more. Because the author never really dives into it or develops the main character, I felt the later light novels got frustrating. I know it's a common trope when there are multiple love interests, but it's frustrating in this series because it's not like the audience is presented with a who will he pick scenario. He's going to be with all of them, and his attitude toward his fiancee feels cruel. I was able to tolerate Leon's actions more by having to make explanations.