One Helluva Fox

(What kind of theme songs would you guys give Sylvester and the members of his family.)

One days After Ozzie's and the same night after Sylvester's meeting with his father.

Sylvester lays face down on his cough, vodka, beer and whine bottles lay around his apartment. Sylvester's clothes are a mess and his tail fur is a mess.

In his right hand is his phone and his left, which is hanging off the cough, clenches onto a wine bottle. Half of its contents poured onto the floor.

Sylvester is also in his "Prince Form." Golden hair with long foot long horns, that slightly curve half way up.

Suddenly his phone starts to ring. He's getting a call from "Cuz Be."

On the screen of his phone it shows Beelzebub and Sylvester smiling at the camera. Sylvester groans and listens to the ringtone for a few seconds before he answers it.

Sylvester brings the phone to his ear. "Y-Yeah?" He slurs a little.

"Cuz Za!" Beelzebub shouts from the other end of the phone, causing Sylvester's ears to flatten back. "How ya doing?"

Sylvester just groans.

"Have ya been drinking man?" Beelzebub asks.

"...Maybe." Sylvester responds.

"Well, I'm throwing a party and I think you need to come."

"W-Why?" Sylvester sits up, showing dark bags under his eyes and a tired look on his face.

"'Cause I haven't seen you in a while! Come on, don't be a buzz kill, come over and party!"

Sylvester goes to speak, but drops his whine bottle and brings a hand to his mouth as he nearly pukes.

"I'll take that as a yes~" Beelzebub sings. "See you soon."

"Wait!" Sylvester covers his mouth again and looks down at his phone, seeing that his cousin hung up on him. He swallows the vomit in his mouth. "Bloody hell."

Sylvester stands up, wobbling a little but remains standing. Sylvester sighs in relief, only to vomit on the floor seconds later.

"I feel like I got a kangaroo stomping on my head." Sylvester groans as he rubs his head.

Sylvester just sighs and rubs his tired eyes. He then yawns and heads to the bathroom. He reaches the bathroom and looks into the mirror, staring at his golden hair and blackish-red horns.

Sylvester sighs and closes his right eye. Then he starts to hum to himself, which then leads to him singing.

"♫All my friends are heathens, take it slow.♫" Sylvester starts to undress as he opens his right eye. "♫Wait for them to ask you who you know.♫" 

Sylvester turns on the shower and he climbs in.

"♫Please don't make any sudden moves♫
♫You don't know the half of the abuse♫"

Sylvester starts to clean himself up.

"♫All my friends are heathens, take it slow♫
♫Wait for them to ask you who you know♫
♫Please don't make any sudden moves♫
♫You don't know the half of the abuse♫"

Sylvester starts washing his tail with some expensive fur shampoo.

"♫Welcome to the room of people♫
♫Who have rooms of people that they loved one day♫
♫Docked away♫
♫Just because we check the guns at the door♫
♫Doesn't mean our brains will change from hand grenades♫"

Sylvester washes all the soap and shampoo off himself and shuts off the shower and steps out.

"♫You'll never know the psychopath sitting next to you♫
You'll never know the murderer sitting next to you♫
You'll think, how'd I get here, sitting next to you♫
But after all I've said, please don't forget♫"

Sylvester starts to brush his teeth and a pool of shadows appears next to Sylvester and a couple clones of him appear and continue to sing.

"♫All my friends are heathens, take it slow♫
♫Wait for them to ask you who you know♫
♫Please don't make any sudden moves♫
♫You don't know the half of the abuse♫"

Sylvester sets his toothbrush down and starts combing his fur, his clones disappear. 

"♫We don't deal with outsiders very well♫
♫They say newcomers have a certain smell♫
♫You have trust issues, not to mention♫
♫They say they can smell your intentions♫"

Sylvester finishes up in the bathroom and he heads to his room, with a towel around his waist.

"♫You'll never know the freak show sitting next to you♫
♫You'll have some weird people sitting next to you♫
♫You'll think how did I get here, sitting next to you♫"

Sylvester opens up his closest and looks at his clothes.

"♫But after all I've said, please don't forget♫"

Sylvester continues to hum as he puts on some pants and a white button up shirt, before putting on a tie.

"♫All my friends are heathens, take it slow♫
♫Wait for them to ask you who you know♫
♫Please don't make any sudden moves♫
♫You don't know the half of the abuse♫"

Sylvester puts on a brown trench coat and a hat that has holes for his horns.

Sylvester takes out a cigarette and tires to light it as a couple clones appear next to him and continue to sing.

"♫All my friends are heathens, take it slow. Watch It♫
♫Wait for them to ask you who you know. Watch it♫"

Sylvester lights his cigarette and walks towards his apartment door, his clones still signing.

"♫Please all my friends are heathens, take it slow. Watch it♫
♫Wait for them to ask you who you know♫"

Sylvester's clones disappear and he stands at the door and he fixes his clothes.

"♫Why'd you come you know you should have stayed♫
♫I tried to warn you just to stay away♫
♫And now they're outside ready to bust♫"

Sylvester pulls his phone out and sees a call from Loona, his finger hovers over the accept, before declining the call.

"♫It looks like you might be one of us♫"

Sylvester sighs and he leaves his apartment. 

.

.

.

Loona is sitting in the back seat of a car, wearing a red dress.

Suddenly Loona's phone buzzes, and she looks down and sees Blitzo trying to call her. She declines the call.

The driver then speaks to her. "You want me to drop you off here?"

Loona glances out the window. "Oh! Uh! yeah. Yeah, this looks right, I, uh... haven't been here before."

Loona steps out of the vehicle and muic can be heard playing as the car drives off. Loona looks down at her phone and texts Vortex that she has arrived, before putting her phone in her bra.

Loona then looks back up to the large building in front of her.

Loona looks around nervously, until Vortex calls out to her. "Loo-naaa!" He waves his hand and walks over to her. "Hey, girl! Glad you could make it!"

"Tex!" Lonna smiles. "Yeah, hey. Thanks for inviting me."

Vortex looks around. "Where's Sylvester? Aren't you two a thing?"

Loona looks hesitant. "Uh...." She just gives a fake smile.

Vortex holds up his hand. "You don't need to answer."

The two walk into the mansion, where the party is taking place.

"Hey, everyone!" Vortex shouts out. "Meet the new face!" He howls in excitement, prompting everyone else to do the same. "You want a... drink or anything?"

"Oh, uh..." Loona's tail rises. "Toatally.."

Loona drops her fake smile and looks over to a group of valley girl-esque hellhounds.

Vikki, the main velley-girl hellhound, is speaking to her friends. "And so, I told him 'I'm not gonna go get it, unless you fucking throw it this time.'"

"That is so, not fetch!" A Dalmatian demon says.

"Not fetch!"

Before Vikki could continue, Loona chimes in nervously. "Ha, ha, ha, yeah! Like, that happens all the time. Aha...aha..."

Vikki turns to Loona. "Oh-em-gee. Loona? 'Lunatic Loona'? That you?"

"Uh, yeah. It's Loona... yeah." Loona nervously brushes her tail.

"Wow. I can't believe you're showing up to another party. I mean, do you even remember the last one?"

Loona grits her teeth. "I'm sure you'll remind me."

Vikki takes out her phone. "Yeah, this?" She shows a picture of Loona vomiting. "This you, right?"

Loona growls angrily in response. "Why do you still have that?"

Vikki looks over to the picture. "It brings me joy. You know, you're supposed to keep things that bring you joy." Loona growls even more at her. "Wow, you're being really negative. Your aura is being really aggressive right now."

"Oh, yeah? Well, maybe it's 'cuz I'm in the presence of a massive bitch!"

The word 'bitch' echoes throughout the party, making everyone else gasp in disapproval.

Vikki feigns being offended. "Oh, my dog! Wow!"

"What?" Loona questions. "Is that not an okay thing to say? Like, come on, it's true!"

"You can't say that." A demon from off the side claims.

Loona's ears droop in response as Vortex comes back with drinks. "Did I miss anything?" He asks.

Lonna notices and puts up her fake smile again. She takes the drink. "No, no, no! No, nothing." She clears her throat. "No."

Suddenly Beelzebub's voice booms through a microphone, attracting most of the partygoers. "Haha! How're my partygoing bitches tonight? Awooh, awooh!"

Most of the party howls with her. Vortex smiles at Loona in response, inviting her over.

"You ready to party with the Queen Bee of Glu-tto-ny? Come on." Beelzebub twirls around the disco ball as she hypes up her audience of partygoers. "Hell, yeah! 'Cus the honey is flowin' tonight! And this bitch is about to get fuckin' wild! Let's get it started!"

Beelzebub grabs onto a pole. Loona looks around nervously as Beelzebub starts to sing her song.

"♫Cotton candy, cotton ca— candy♫

♫Candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy♫

♫Hey! I'm whatchu need, I'm watchu want♫

♫I got it all, a carnivale, I'll bring you up, I'll take you down♫

♫I'm sticky sweet, stuck in your teeth like♫

♫Cotton candy!♫
♫Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah)♫
♫Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-oh)♫
♫Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah)♫

♫I'm whatchu want, not watchu need (Ah-ah, ah-oh)♫"

A brief shot of a hellhound drinking while peering into one of Bee's honey pits then gets knocked over by a pillar of rising honey.

"♫Hey! I don't know why, I'm whatchu want, but it's the truth♫

♫I'm not your lie♫
♫Let them eat cake, let them eat pie♫

♫Or better yet them eat cotton candy♫
♫Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah)♫
♫Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-oh)♫
♫Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah)♫

♫I'm whatchu want, not watchu need!♫
♫Cotton candy skies♫
♫Sweet as apple pie♫
♫I can't help but shine♫
♫Brighter than the starlight in the sky♫

♫Cotton candy♫
♫Cotton candy (Yeah)♫
♫Cotton candy♫

♫I'm whatchu want, not watchu need♫
♫So, watchu want?♫

Ya hungry? Take a bite!"

Bee enlarges the taco one of her guests planned on eating, then shoves it into his mouth.

"Get fucked tonight! (♫So, watchu want?♫)"

Bee moves onto the next table, where she enlarges the alcoholic beverage of two dog demons which she then shoves down their throats.

"Your Queen Bee brings the sweet stuff, so keep making me that motherfucking honey! Yeah, keep it comin'!"

Bee enlarges the party's punch bowl and prompts the others to swim in it, which four partygoers do without hesitation.

"♫Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah)♫
♫Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-oh)♫
♫Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah)♫

♫I'm whatchu want, not watchu need!♫
♫Cotton candy skies!♫
♫Sweet as apple pie!♫
♫I can't hеlp but shine!♫

♫Brighter than the starlight♫
♫Cotton candy skiеs♫
♫Sweet as apple pie!♫
♫I can't help but shine (Woo!)♫
♫Brighter than the starlight in the sky!♫"

Beelzebub ends her performance with a firework of confetti and the hellhounds cheer as Loona shakes the cotton candy out of her hair.

Beelzebub howls. "Vortex!" She flies over to him. 

"The party is buzzin' now! Fuck!" Beelzebub dusts herself off. "I feel like I went a little to hard on the confetti this time, though, I have like,-" She materializes a mini rainbow. "-a rainbow in my vagina right now."

Loona gives her a "wtf" look.

Beelzebub then notices Loona. "Oh, hey! Is this the sweet pup you told me about?"

Loona gets a little offended. "Excuse me?"

"She's a fucking cutie! Where have you been hiding, girl?" Beelzebub laughs. 

"Is there something funny?"

"Nah, I'm just really high on all this tasty energy right now. Oh, only if Zahav was here, he makes things so much fun." Bee clears her throat. "Tex says you don't get invited out much. I hope this itty-bitty get-together can serve as a fun first time."

Loona briefly looks behind her to see a hellhound slide down a staircase only to get hit in the crotch when he gets all the way down.

Looks just hums.

"I would've thrown a bigger one, but I couldn't convince Belphegor to let me break into her stash of party drugs. So fucking lame! I mean, I usually just steal them, but Bel changed the locks." Beelzebub conjures a bottle of beer. "She says I'm a total jackasss for trying. But hey... I'm proud to be a total jackass." She drinks from the bottle.

"Heh." Vortex lets out a chuckle. "Anyway yeah, Bee, this is Loona. And, Loona, this is my girlfriend, Bee." He givers Bee a side hug.

"Nice to meetcha bitch!"

"Oh, this is... she's hot." Loona's eyes then widen in realization.

"Ha!" Beelzebub laughs. "Holy shit! Okay, Tex, you didn't tell me she was hilarious. That's so funny."

"Right."

I love that that's the first thing you say to me. You don't give a shit how freaky you come off, and that's fucking beautiful." Beelzebub moves next to Loona. "You're my new favorite person."

Loona gives a fake smile. "Am I, thought?"

"Yeah, bitch!" Bee laughs. "No, really. Reminds me of the first time I saw Satan without a shirt on." Vortex turns his head towards her at this. "I was like, 'Oof! Boy! You are hot as hell!'  But, then I wanted to die, 'cause it was so awkward. 'Cause he's more like a brother to me. You know, but not actually my brother. So, I guess... it was fine. I could hit that..." Loona looks around awkwardly.

"Anyway, girl, you have a good time tonight. Get some sweets, get some eats. Drink it, tear it, fuck it up! Whoo!" Beelzebub walks over to some party guests. "Cheers, honey. Thank you for coming." She checks in on her guests.

Loona looks down at her drink. "Yeah, I'm gonna go."

"Uh, what?" Vortex questions."Why? You just got here. At least one drink, right?"

Loona puts her cup down at a nearby staircase and walks out the door, shedding tears she calls Blitzo.

...

Meanwhile, Blitzo, still in the aftermath of his night out with Stolas, hears his phone ring, then he looks at it and his eyes bug out.

.

.

.

Loona is waiting for Blitzo. She sighs. "So stupid. I shouldn't have come."

The I.M.P. van arrives as Blitzo rolls down the window. "Hey, Loonie. How you doin', you alright?"

Loona gets in the van. "Yeah, I'm fine. I just wanna go."

"He-hey, that sounds like Bltizo!" An Imp calls out.

"The 'O' is silent, asshole." Blitzo calls out.

"He-hey, I knew it was you! Fuck, man, where you've been? You here for the party?" The Imp asks.

"N-no, I'm just here picking up my daughter." Blitzo informs.

The Imp walks over to the van. "Oh, shit! You have a daughter now?"

Loona becomes annoyed. "Adopted"

"Aw, man, you're leaving? Things just got started. Come in and show us all up again."

"No, no, thank you! But, I think Loonie wants to head back."

Loona looks out the window and notices Sylvester walking into Beelzebub's mansion. Her tail wags a little. "I mean, we could stay a little longer."

"I think we need to go, mkay?" Blizto says. "I think it's been a long night."

"Well these people seem to know you. Come on! I think I wanna give this another try." Loona makes puppy dog eyes. "Pleeese?"

Blitzo rubs his temples. "Okay, fine. Maybe one drink."

...

Sylvester looks around as he enters Bee mansion, music blaring.Sylvester rubs his temples. "Still not sober..."

"Cuz!" Bee flies over. "How you... Woh!" She stops in front of Sylvester with a worried look. "You doing okay?"

Sylvester raises an eyebrow in confusion. "Yeah, why."

"You have this... negative vibe about you man." Beelzebub shakes her head. "You're not passing the vibe cheek, Cuz."

Sylvester rolls his eye. "I'm fine Bee, so where's the bar?"

"Zahav, I think you should just-"

"Bee, come on, I came here to drink and have a good time. You're not gonna stop me are you?" Sylvester questions.

Bee just sighs. "Just don't go too crazy." She points off to the side.

Sylvester gains a sly smile. "When have I gone crazy?" Beelzebub gives him a 'really' look. "Okay, I don't know how I got that dress on while drunk, don't blame me and how was I supposed to know she was a he! He looked so much like a girl!"

Sylvester walks off and a couple Hellhounds run over to him and cheer.

"Zahav's here!" A hellhound shouts.

"Yeah, party king is here!" Another yells.

Sylvester laughs. "Let's get drunk!"

The three howl as they walk off.

Beelzebub looks at Sylvester with a worried look. "He's so not vibing."

.

.

.

Blitzo is drinking from a keg as the other guests chant.

"Blitzo!" Loona cheers. "Blitzo! Blitzo! Blitzo!"

Blitzo hops off the keg. "Ahh!" The hellhounds howl, even Loona. "Ha haaa! That was nothing, bitch! Gimme a real challenge!"

Beelzebub then appears behind Blitzo holding a chicken leg. "Oh, yeah? Wanna fuck with this big bitch, imp boy? I got a challenge for ya." She eats the chicken leg.

Vikki appears behind Beelzebub. "Oh, he's gonna die."

Vortex arrives with two yellow kegs. "Aaaalright, let's do this!" He puts the kegs down. "From Bee's personal stash, the hardest shit there is."

Blitzo does some stretches.

"You ready, my man?" Vortex asks.

"Oh, born ready!" Blitzo yells and tries to open one of the kegs. "Bring it, barky! I will drink you under this fucking table, you have no idea what kind of couple days I've had!"

Beelzebub uses her powers to lift the kegs and prep nozzles for them. She then laughs. "Alright, shit talker, but there hasn't been a soul yet who can beat me at my own game. So, you better bring the fire, baby."

"Oh, this Queen Bee too scared to lose to a little imp like me?" Blitzo asks, smugly.

"Oh, okay. Let's get it on, you little bastard!"

Vortex singles for the contest to begin, and Beelzebub and Blitzo start drinking.

"Come on, Blitzo!" Loona yells. "Fuck her up! You can do it!"

Blitzo rips off the nozzle and chugs the whole keg, Beelzebub looks at Blitzo with worry.

Blitzo then climbs on top of the empty keg. "Who's the queen now?!"

"Yeah! That's my DAD!" Loona yells.

"Well, fuck me!" Beelzebub smiles. "That's a first. I haven't had a first in a while. That was magical, seriously, impressive. I tip my crown to you, imp boy." She bows before Blitzo. "Respect."

She howls, prompting the other part guests, including Loona, to cheer as Blitzo passes out drunk, as he gets carried off as Beelzebub and Vortex look at each other in concern.

....

Sylvester throws a silver keg to the ground, hellhounds around him cheer.

"G-Give me a stronger drink!" Sylvester hiccups. "I can take it!"

A hellhound sets one of Beelzebub's kegs in front of him.  "It's the strongest we got."

Sylvester looks at the keg. 'This is gonna kill me.' He stares at the keg for a few seconds, before smugly smiling. "FUCK IT!" He picks up the keg. "I'm go-gonna drink it!"

Everyone cheers.

.

.

.

As the party continues, the guests continue having fun and chatting. Loona is looking around, searching for Someone, but Vortex taps her on the shoulder.

"Hey, Loon." Vortex starts. "I don't mean to be a buzz kill here. But, your uh, dad... guy dude... is um... He's seeming a bit.."

Beelzebub then comes up behind him looking concerned. "Out of control, like... A mess."

"Yeah, it's worrisome. You wanna maybe check on hi or somethin?"

"What?!" Loona questions. "No! No, Blitzo is fine. He's always a mess, trust me."

"Look, honey." Beelzebub starts. ". I see people having fun and getting fucked up all the time. But, he’s clearly getting wasted off his ass and causing problems on purpose. So, I feel like, you should check up on him at least."  Loona starts to get angry.  "Just see if something's up."

Loona then marches over to Beelzebub and confronts her. "Don't act like you know him like I do."

"I ain't sayin' that." beelzebub says that. "I'm just pretty sure he's had like four tongues inside him at once. I mean... good for him." Vortex nods in agreement. "But... I can taste the flavor of people at my parties, and he's giving off a very, not okay vibe, you know?"

Loona gets progressively angrier. "Oh, yeah? And I bet you'd know the 'okay' vibe, right? I mean everyone likes you so much."

Beelzebub flies up near Loona's face to challenge her. "What's that supposed to mean? You got a problem or something, Sour cream?" She shifts into her larger demonic form. "Don't fuck with me!"

Loona preps for a fight until she sees how it's upsetting Vortex. She then sighs. "Sorry. Yeah, nope, I'll, uh... I'll check on him." She walks off as Beelzebub shrinks back to her normal size.

"Ugh... sorry." Beelzebub apologizes to Vortex. "Sorry. I know I got a little spicy there. I just... hope everyone works out."

Vortex looks to the side. "Now we just have to deal with that."

Beelzebub looks to the side to see Sylvester, standing on top of the bar, chugging one her her kegs.

"I'd would have never know that Sylvester was royalty." Vortex smiles. "He never acts like one."

Beelzebub sighs and pulls out her phone. "I got this." She calls someone.

.

.

.

Sylvester sticks the empty keg onto his horns and yells in triumph. Everyone cheers for him.

"I... I AM THE KING OF PARTIES!" Sylvester shouts with a slight slur in his words. Everyone howls, and Sylvester joins them.

Sylvester laughs and takes a couple steps back, but then falls off and lands behind the counter. Everyone nearby stops howling and looks at him.

Sylvester pops up from behind the counter, with his arms up, and laughs. Everyone cheers again.

Beelzebub watches from a distance, she sighs as she watches Sylvester continue to drink. 

"Wow, he is in rough shape." Malina walks up next to Beelzebub as she drinks from a bottle of Vodka. 

Beelzebub glances at Malina, before looking back at Sylvester. "I've never seen him like this before."

"Oh, it was way worse than this nearly teen years ago." Maline moves some hair away from her eyes. "But yeah, he hasn't been like this in a long time."

Sylvester laughs in the distance as he stands on the shoulders of a couple hellhounds and tries to juggle beer bottles.

Malina sighs. "Had a family meeting and let's say, it really didn't go very well."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Ke." Beelzebub scratches her cheek. "I really think you should get him out of here."

Malina takes a swing from her bottle, before setting it down. "Probably for the best." She walks over towards Sylvester.

Sylvester laughs. "I-I'm party and ready to drunk! AHAHAHA!" Sylvester falls off the shoulders of the hellhounds. 

He lands on the ground and lets out a few giggles, before a shadow covers him. He looks up and sees Malina looking down at him, with a worried look. "Malina~" He giggles and holds his arms up to her. "Gimme a hug!"

Malina sighs and picks her older brother up. "Your really really drunk." They start to walk off, with Malina practically carrying Sylvester.

Sylvester nods with a drunk smile. "Being drunk is sooooo much fun. I don't have to worry about anything!" He cheeks suddenly puff out and his face turns green. "Except that."

Sylvester then steps away from Malina and vomits onto a small hellhound. The hellhound runs away while crying as Vomit flies off their head. 

Sylvester stumbles back into his sister. "I don't feel so good. My tummy hurts."

"I'm taking you back to my place." Malina sighs in annoyance as she drugs her brother off.

"Can we get food on the way back?"

"If you be a good boy, we will."

Sylvester pouts. "I-I'm always a good boy."

.

.

.

Malina unlocks the door to her house and kicks the door open. She helps Sylvester into the house.

"♫Cotton candy!♫

♫Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah)♫
♫Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-oh)♫
♫Cotton candy (Ah-ah, ah-ah)♫"

Sylvester drunkenly sings as Malina drags him down the hall. She pushes a door open, revealing her room and she drags Sylvester over to the bed and sets him on it.

"Cotton candy!" Sylvester giggles as he lays back onto the bed and closes his eye. He then goes silent.

Malina sighs and rubs her head as she heads towards the door.

"Malina." Sylvester calls out.

"Yeah?" Maline stops and looks to her brother, who's laying on his side and looking at the wall.

"Am I a bad person?"

Malina grows confused and walks over and sits down next to Sylvester. "What, no. Why would you think that."

"I'm the son of the King of Greed and I hurt my girlfriend. I was so mean to her for no reason." Sylvester looks at the blankets below him. "And now I have to hurt my best friend by making his life harder."

Malina rubs her face before laying down next to Sylvester, facing him. "Hey, you're not a bad person, just a simple hellfox put in a bad place." She grabs her brother's hand and holds it. "It's just our father making our lives and everyone else's miserable. It's not your fault."

Sylvester hums and he closes his eye and holds his sister's hand tightly. "I don't want to be alone."

Malina smiles and she closes her eyes. "I'm right her, Zdrada. I'm not going anywhere."

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07-01-2023

4381 words