No Dark Secrets In This Book

Episode 154

Fortunately, the necessary situation was not created in which Ryuseong, a non-killing believer, had to answer the question, “Will you kill someone if I want you to?”

“Young Clan Leader. Let’s have a brief conversation.”

The young clan leader of Demillang was summoned to the Hanra’s emergency meeting. The head of the clan and the elders personally came out to guide him to the meeting place, as if they intended to do so.

Ryuseong wanted to ask for permission to go together, but having voluntarily declined the position of the third generation’s eldest brother, it was difficult for him to intervene both in terms of status and position. It was even more so since the meeting also included the principal and faculty of Areah Academy, as well as the clan leaders of several families.

But then Cassice Demillang said,

“Yes. I have a condition.”

“A condition?”

The head of the clan calmly asked back without showing any signs of bewilderment.

The noble Demillang family had tried to assassinate the young clan leader. But it was impossible to prove that fact. To put it bluntly, if Demillang’s descendants claimed that they went crazy and rampaged among themselves, Demillang could easily cut off the tail by handing over some interests, suffering a loss of prestige, and being humiliated. However, Damyeon was furious, saying that touching the students of Areah Academy was a declaration of war against this country, and the head of the Hanra clan was no different.

It wasn’t that he was neglecting the clan because he was crazy with worry for his child. It was rather difficult to stop the disciples from rampaging. Even if they didn’t call him father, he was a son. Even if they couldn’t say they were blood-related, they were brothers. The disciples of the Hanra clan, who had been with Ryuseong during his difficult childhood when he had to be taught that humans were dignified before living like an animal, were determined to “warn” those who dared to touch their family without knowing anything.

‘Absolutely, we will not let them act recklessly in this country!’

But the person whose life was targeted was extremely serene. Why? The head of the clan suddenly thought that this was the first time he had made eye contact with Cassice Demillang for such a long time.

“I want Ryuseong to guard me while the meeting is in progress.”

Whether he was really the person who had almost died… Or if he had another monster hidden under his eyelids.

Cassice Demillang had a nonchalant expression.

But Ryuseong couldn’t relax.

‘What are you thinking?’

* * *

‘Is he crazy, damn it.’

I wanted to kick the blanket if I could.

I don’t know why I said such a thing either. That’s the problem because I don’t know.

‘Will you kill me if I ask you to? I should have just drowned myself in the sink.’

While agonizing and regretting inwardly, I calmly followed Ryuseong’s father. It’s easy to perfectly separate and control the mind and expression.

‘What kind of crazy nonsense is that….’

But once I defined it as crazy talk, I suddenly felt at ease. Yeah. It’s natural for a crazy person to spout crazy words. Right?

So Ryuseong wouldn’t take this seriously either……

‘……’

I repeat the words that I can’t even believe in myself over and over again. Like a madman.

In fact, it is a proven fact in psychopathology, not a derogatory or self-deprecating joke, that I have mental issues.

Not psychosis, but towards neurosis….

‘There’s no way my brothers haven’t taken me to a psychiatrist at least once when I’m living like that.’

Drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, sleeping with anyone… That’s one thing, but anyone can see that a person who chooses only relationships that ruin them is a broken person……

‘What was the diagnosis again? There were so many that I can’t remember….’

Who lives in modern society without depression, but when ‘chronic’ is added, the prognosis changes no matter what the disease. However, the vast majority of the public still uses the word mental illness as a term of contempt, insult, or giggle about it as a joke. I also laughed along with the ignorance of people who might not even distinguish between psychosis and neurosis. There were days like that.

When I giggled for no reason, one of the Hanra elders seemed startled, but I couldn’t confirm Ryuseong’s expression following behind, so I felt chilled for no reason.

We entered the bushes and walked and walked.

As we walked, the meeting place appeared as the illusion unfolded. Was it the work of Pungseinja? Or the work of Dohyun? Somehow, my gaze was drawn towards the professors of Taoist magic and shamanic magic, which didn’t seem like magic, but I replaced the greeting with an appropriate smile and silent bow, and I calmly went and sat at the head of the table.

“……”

“……”

A strange air arose. For the young clan leader of Demillang to sit at the head of the table, leaving the head of the Hanra clan, is an insult. It was even more so because Cassice Demillang had just narrowly escaped assassination by Demillang. Perhaps the people here might think that Cassice Demillang is being arrogant despite being a kite with a broken string.

But if it were the Cassice Demillang I know, he would have definitely done this. Even if he had anything left or not, he would have remained aloof until the very end.

‘Character interpretation is crazy.’

While praising myself inwardly, I coldly looked down on the crowd outwardly. The head seat was in a position facing the crowd, so I thought it was a chance to see Ryuseong’s face, but Ryuseong, who was dedicated to his guard duty, stood behind me. Damn it.

The head of the Hanra clan sat in any seat as if he had no particular thoughts. The brief commotion ended uneventfully.

“Let’s start the meeting.”

Everyone seemed to have a lot of complaints and began to talk vigorously. It seemed like they would all go crazy like rabid dogs if their mouths were gagged.

I decided to let them express their words for a while and rested my chin. My eyelids felt heavy and were about to droop down, down.

Still, I thought it would be better to get lost in other thoughts than to fall asleep during the meeting, so I tried hard to come up with an interesting topic of conversation.

According to what I heard, the glaciers in the world of the book have been gradually melting since the World Tree fell asleep a thousand years ago after suppressing the black fog.

Although it was at a slower pace than the modern times I lived in, the fact remained the same that the ecosystem of the polar regions was being destroyed because they couldn’t protect nature. When I learned that fact, I thought, the nature of humans to destroy nature is the same whether it’s the modern times I lived in or the world in the book. The reason why destroying nature is even considered human nature is because humans are always searching and wandering. For an inexhaustible source of affection and resources like a magic jar. For an eternity like the world.

But……

‘Of course, such a thing is an illusion.’

Humans are cunning, so when they pour out emotions, they expect to receive them in return. They expect the other person to treat them as much as they thought about and sacrificed for them.

Even parents and children cannot love without expecting anything in return.

Parents say they don’t expect anything from their children?

A common lie.

Even without considering the ‘strange’ family I was born and raised in, there is no parent-child relationship in this world where they expect nothing.

Children want their parents’ love. They demand emotional support. Parents want manners from their children. They want the right character, a healthy body, and specs that won’t fall behind anywhere. At the very least, they want to see their children showing gratitude. It’s not uncommon for people to have children instead of saving up for their retirement.

Still, I won’t argue that they couldn’t have made such a claim without treating humans as tools, because if an adult child is willing to take care of their elderly parents’ illness, it would mean they were good parents throughout their lives.

At least, they shouldn’t think that they gave love without reward. Relationships are always two-way, and it’s human nature to give and receive emotions even with a single smile.

Humans dig into the earth in pursuit of a love they can never have forever. Because the earth gives back as much as you sow. When you sow rice, rice ears appear, and when you sow wheat, wheat fields unfold. Even just by digging the ground, there are endless resources that can be utilized. The blessings of the earth are endless. At some point, mankind began to mutter those words like a prayer, as if wishing all of this were infinite, digging underground to draw up groundwater, extracting natural gas, pumping oil… For several hundred years.

The Earth, having eaten the 21st century, is facing aging.

It means that we can no longer expect affection without a price.

‘Still, humans can’t come to their senses until the end and dig deeper….’

Suddenly, a conversation with a counselor introduced by the psychiatry department comes to mind. Do you know the term persona? It can be simply explained as a mask that a person puts on their personality, but, oh, of course, it becomes an extremely complex concept when entering a professional field. I don’t know how it sounds to you, but Ian, you have too many personas. So……

‘What were the next words again?’

I can’t remember well.

Still, if I repeat it, the guy named ‘Jeong Ian’ must be a lunatic. The shell I’m wearing now is called ‘Cassice Demillang’, but, well. If a soul truly exists, I would have come here with the soul of ‘Jeong Ian’. So, I must be equally crazy. Just as ‘Jeong Ian’ was crazy, it would be the same here. But I think it would have been worse if I were ‘Cassice Demillang’. If ‘Cassice Demillang’ had been dealing with this kind of situation in their right mind……

‘By now, either Ryuseong or I would have been dead.’

Thinking like that, I felt proud that I had done better than I thought. But strangely, I wanted to die again. I pondered for a long time because I didn’t know the reason.

A moment later, I found out the reason.

‘Jumping off a cliff together is okay, but killing others is not?’

Ah, this bastard……

“We need to fix our Ryuseong’s habit……”

A loose smile hung on my lips.

But the next moment, everyone around me stopped breathing and started staring at me.

“……”

“……”

Did I really say it out loud?

‘…..No, right?’