Isekai Harem of Smut and Magic

 

How does one fight a beholder?

Slade pondered, scanning the desolate gnoll camp.

A beholder is a giant eye, right? It can shoot Disintegrating Ray, and slap people at close range with their tentacles according to my games.

He rummaged through the collapsed yurts, pulling up a steel cooking pot.

Milia chewed tufts of grass. She was a bored cow absently staring at the hustling golem.

Meanwhile, Shaki sat on a wooden bench reviewing the battle to summarize a report for Violet.

If they shoot from their eyes, all I need is to make them close! What substance can I use for that? Slade thought.

The golem extended its hand above the pot. A network of slime flesh gathered at its palm.

That’s right, the answer is…

[Skill: Alchemical Synthesis of ‘Pepper’ creation failed. Entry not found in Toilet Slime database.]

Fuck!

The golem slammed his fist on the ground in frustration.

Are you kidding me? Does that mean that aphrodisiac is basic knowledge for slimes, but pepper isn’t?!

“Huh, is it giving up after all?” Shaki said.

No, it’s alright. I can still copy any chemical compound thanks to my level up. Let’s find something that irritates eyes.

Slade frantically scoured the wooden ruins, searching for pepper or anything spicy.

I found it!

[Skill: Absorption activated. ‘Onion’ was absorbed.]

He filled pots with onion juice in no time.

“What is it?” Shaki asked.

“Aaaargh! My eyes sting. The fucker filled the pans with onion juice!” Milia shouted.

“Why? Are we supposed to hurl it at the beholder?” Shaki asked.

“Let’s cook an onion soup instead! It’s going to be delicious!”

“You’re the leader of this mission, please be more responsible,” Shaki said.

Should I have used pepper instead of onion? But I don’t find any...

“Fine! Let’s roll with the slime’s idea then,” Milia nodded.

The ten troglodytes gathered under her orders and carried the pots.

The golem scratched its head.

Where does her confidence come from?

They ventured into the mine. Lanterns hung from the wooden scaffolds of the walls. Rotting wooden carts were lying in the middle of the path on rusted rails.

The corridors grew darker, as the gnolls did not keep the deeper lanterns.

Slade and the troglodytes could perfectly see in the darkness. Only Milia struggled a bit, but she didn’t bother carrying a light source.

After going through a maze of tunnels, Shaki ordered the group to slow down and stifle their noise. They walked straight through a long corridor of fifty meters, branching out to countless paths on the sides.

They reached the end of the corridor, ignoring the side paths.

The group stopped in front of a large open room. The beholders were right beneath them.

Slade could reach the enemies by taking the downward winding ramp, and walk like a normie. However, the cooler option was taking a suicidal plunge over an abrupt cliff, and landing over a beholder. Unfortunately, the targets were spread, so a golem belly flop would not guarantee victory.

While Slade contemplated his stupid ideas, the beholders were piling up stones to create abstract sculptures.

Furthermore, they carved fine geometric shapes on the wall using their disintegration ray.

As a result, the cave looked like an ominous alien temple rather than an ore mine.

‘Whack!’

A beholder carrying stones had bumped into a carver, ruining its perfect circle.

The latter stood up, and its tentacles lashed in outrage at the carrier.

Sobbing, the clumsy beholder poured a flood of tears from its eye, and its friends calmed it with pats.

They really enjoyed their activity as they didn’t spare a glance to their surroundings.

The tense mood released as the party saw the scene. Shaki and Milia exchanged a nod.

The targets were gathered around the commotion. It was the ideal opportunity to use their secret weapon.

“Throw it on them!”

Onion juice rained down on the beholders. In an instant, shrill screams of agony drowned the mine. Their tentacles trashed around or wriggled in the air. Their bloodshot, soaked eyes twitched in rage.

They didn’t close their eyes, contrary to Slade’s expectation.

Instead, a chaotic storm of disintegration rays flew all over the area.

Their wails intensified as their artworks got destroyed by their own fit. Milia couldn’t stop giggling.

A troglodite’s head exploded with its brain flying all over the tunnel ceiling.

“Oh shit!” Milia blurted as the party ducked.

They occasionally peeked out.

“Damn, it didn’t work!” the teary minotaur growled.

“Look, it shot its own ally,” Shaki said.

Indeed, a tentacle exploded in a cloud of blood as a stray shot grazed it.

The furious beholder returned the fire in the general direction of the offender, but it knocked out an innocent crying by-stander instead.

“Great! Now we wait for them to kill each others…” Milia said.

Why did you set that flag?! Slade internally shouted.

An eerie scream silenced the room, stopping the chaotic barrage of rays. A group of beholders came, led by a unique-looking monster.

The larger beholder slightly hovered above the ground with its thicker tentacle swaying mesmerizingly.

“Shit, that’s an Evil Eye,” Shaki said.

“Oi oi oi, what’s up with all the reinforcements?!” Milia asked.

The Evil Eye rallied its underlings. Its followers scattered to hunt down the cause of the commotion.

The monsters used their nimble tentacles to climb over the cliff.

“We were wrong, it wasn’t only five beholders!” Shaki said as the beholder climbed up the ramp.

“Let’s run!” Milia said.

They headed back, but the beholders climbed too fast.

“Dodge!”

Disintegrating rays rained on their back. A large chunk of the golem’s torso scattered into dust. Troglodytes collapsed one by one, riddled with holes.

Milia was the vanguard for the attack, which became the rearguard for the retreat.

Minotaurs had great charging abilities, but her path was blocked by her own allies, and she just couldn’t charge through them.

“Argh!” Milia cried as a ray gouged out small chunk of her thigh.

She tumbled down and got up on her feet to resume the escape. As she was lagging, she became the focus of the fire.

“Ouch ouch!”

She scrambled down on four to expose less of her back.

Shaki noticed the ceiling cracking from the onslaught of disintegrating rays.

“Scatter! Take the side paths and run!!” Shaki shouted.

Milia crawled to the nearest side path as she stared at Shaki’s distant back.

The troglodytes dove into random side alleys, and large rocks fell from the collapsing ceiling.

“Fuck...” she muttered as she looked at the rocks falling on her.