Chapter 55 – It hurts.
I couldn't imagine that she already knew about it, it doesn't make sense for her to know about it, but I think my way of acting made her aware of what was going on, I couldn't act normally.
I was able to just cry and say nothing, I didn't feel like saying anything to her. Yuukina was not crying now, but I could see that she was suffering a lot.
I notice her eyes are a little red, she certainly cried before, but I was still hoping to find her uncle alive, I am the person who will break all your hopes with one sentence, and I don't want to do that.
Before I could say anything, I heard Yuukina's voice in that uncomfortable silence: "I already knew that something had happened, I just didn't want to believe it, you know? I felt that something had happened to you or my uncle, but I just closed my eyes to it and kept on believing. "
The more she spoke, the more my heart ached, but I kept listening to everything she had to say, everyone around her also seemed to be suffering from her words.
"But even now, I still don't want to believe it, I still feel like a piece of my heart has been ripped out, but I don't want to believe it."
"Listen, Yuukina ..."
"I don't want to hear this, please, I know I said that but I don't want to hear it from your mouth, please don't do this." Little tears started to form in the corner of her eyes and she started to clench her teeth.
She looked angry, confused, and sad at the same time, I don't know what I do here.
Not knowing what to do, the only thing I was able to do was to hug her as tightly as I could while holding my tears, I just let her cry as she wanted, that was a scene I didn't want to see, but I was watching.
A scene where my little girl cries like that, I didn't think I would see it, but unfortunately, I am witnessing it.
"Listen, he may be gone, but he always ..."
"I SAID NOT TO SAY ANYTHING." Yuukina who was entwined in my arms gave me a push and started running away while crying, undressing, I don't know how to act in this situation.
I didn't go after her, I'm going to leave her alone for a while, she needs to think a little.
'Please, that we have the strength to bear it together, I still feel that I am weaker than her.' I thought while holding my cry in front of all those people.
"Thanks for being here, can we prepare for Beijamin's funeral for tomorrow? I can't do that today, and I need to find Yuukina." I decided it was not a good idea to leave her alone at this point.
"Leave it to us, you can rest and stay with her, we will fix everything for tomorrow." One of the guards said.
"Hey, will she be okay ?." While I was walking away, a little girl stopped me to ask this, this is my neighbor's daughter, maybe she had some contact with Yuukina while I was away.
Maybe they even became friends.
"Yes, she'll be fine." I put my hand on her head and ruffled her hair a little.
So, where are you? Don't make me look for you like this right now, I know you're sad, but spend this moment with me.
You know, I can also feel lonely right now, so I wanted you to stay with me until all this was over, I should have been holding you and not having to run away.
'I want you by my side now.' I started to cry again, but this time I was alone, no one was here, so I think it's okay to cry as much as I want.
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"This can't be happening, this can't be happening to me," I said desperately as I ran away from that place, I can't believe it, it's impossible for me.
That uncle, that man who was always with me while I was "trapped" in the house, the one who took care of me while I was sick, is he dead? Of course, it was a lie.
'Shit, Shit, Shit.' When I realized I was already inside the forest that surrounded the village, I was sitting at the foot of a tree while putting my hand on my head, trying to control my thoughts.
I couldn't accept that this was all happening to me.
After leaving the person I loved behind in another world, after I suffered so much in that house, after leaving my mother to die in that place, is my uncle now dead?
The one person who was most by my side all the time? This is impossible, I want to wake up now, this is a nightmare, please, someone wake me up.
My mind is not well, I just want my thoughts to go away, I don't want to think about anything now, please.
I think I wished for it so much that it ended up coming true, my mind was getting dark and completely clear.
"Something good has happened, my mind is now free of those thoughts." At that moment I blacked out, and it was the best time for that to happen, I hope I never wake up again, I don't want to suffer anymore.
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