Chapter 16: Ch-16 Huh? This guy... I was speechless...
It was the night of my wedding with Sasaki.
We had dinner together in the living room, late into the night. I had assumed that this would be the first time I would be intimate with Sasaki. So I was about to go to my room to put on my makeup and a stylish negligee when Sasaki called out to me.
"Ayaka. There's something I need to talk to you about..."
"Yes?"
I sat down at the table again.
"About the night we spend together... I do not intend to sleep with you. Not now, not in the future."
"Huh?"
I didn't understand what he was saying.
What do you mean you don't want to sleep with me? Does that mean you have another woman?
Sasaki spoke as if he could read my thoughts.
"Your fears are justified. So let me be clear. I am... a man who is not interested in women."
"Huh?"
I soon realized that Sasaki was gay, and that's why he had no interest in women.
Then something suddenly occurred to me. Sasaki had a young, handsome man who worked as his personal driver and secretary. Whenever this man saw me, he would give me an icy, cold look.
It wasn't a look of interest in me, but a look of contempt. I had wondered why he looked at me like that, but now I understood.
This man was Sasaki's lover. He despised me because I was Sasaki's wife.
"Sasaki's love is mine. You're not welcome here." He probably said this in his mind.
"So what am I supposed to do?"
I'm not even 30 yet. What am I supposed to do?
"Sorry. I'd like you to take care of this outside the house. Just make sure Sasaki's wife doesn't get caught because of public opinion. Well then, I'll go and rest first."
And with that, he left the living room...
My husband never told me anything about his work, and we had little other conversation. The housekeeper did most of the housework, so there was no real contact between Sasaki and me.
I'm nothing but a decoration...
As soon as I started living in this house, I realized that Sasaki had only taken me as a figurehead wife to smooth things over with Kisaragi.
When I think back to my life with Kazuya, everything was a joint effort. Although it was a constant struggle, there's no doubt that it was a rewarding experience.
But even though I'm financially well off at the moment, no one needs me...
It's too empty.
I entered the bedroom alone. The children's bedroom was next to the housekeeper's room, and they were already asleep there. Sasaki had his own bedroom next to mine, so he would probably sleep there.
I lay alone in bed, tormented by my thoughts. I remembered Sasaki's words.
'I'm sorry. I'd like you to take care of this matter outside the house. But make sure that Sasaki's wife doesn't find out because of public opinion.'
In other words... it's okay to have sex with other men, but don't give me any trouble... that's what he said.
Anger bubbled up in my heart.
...Then what kind of man should I sleep with?
Should I go into town and pick up every young man I can find? Or should I just hang out at a host club? A violent idea popped into my head.
But...
Doing something like that probably wouldn't save me. I need to love a man who will love me back... anything else will only increase the emptiness inside me.
But how can I find such a man? Besides, I'm a married woman. Even if my husband agrees, will others understand?
In order not to cause trouble for Sasaki, it would be better for the man to be single. If he were married, it would be considered adultery, and if discovered, it could lead to a lawsuit.
But do such convenient single men really exist? If they do, how do you go about finding one? The Internet could help, but what about being tricked by a man of unknown origin?
As expected, am I destined to end up like this?
I couldn't sleep for a long time.
---
A few days later...
When I was a university student in Tokyo, I went to visit a friend who was married and lived in Saitama. I met her at a restaurant, and after chatting about trivial things, I said goodbye and went home.
As I was about to buy a ticket at a certain JR station, I felt a tap on my shoulder from behind. When I turned around, I saw a stranger standing there.
But the next moment I was shocked. I recognized the man. I'll never forget him.
When I felt cornered in my life with Kazuya and decided to sell my body in the entertainment district, he was the first man to buy me.
This man was standing right in front of me now. When I froze, the man spoke with a gentle smile on his face.
"If you don't mind, would you like some tea, Ayaka-san?"