NOVEL WEB Chapter 238
What I desperately desire.
Can anyone truly know what they desperately want in their hearts?
No, I think they won’t.
The things you really want…, the things you want so badly you’d sell your soul, you can only understand just before you die.
Maybe that’s why I knew well what I desperately wanted.
Because I had died once.
At that time, while I was dying, I prayed.
To live receiving the love of many… and not to be lonely.
I asked to be allowed to live like that.
So, what’s outside the door now…?
Creek.
I carefully opened the door, predicting what might be outside.
And…
“…Huh?”
The figure standing outside was completely different from what I had expected.
“Ha Ye-rin, congratulations on your debut.”
“You…”
It was someone I couldn’t forget, even if I tried.
Namgung Soo-ho.
The stalker who had come to my neighborhood while Na Ah Ah was still in progress.
But as soon as I saw his face, for some reason, another memory came to mind.
‘Ah, does it hurt? I hurt more! I was tormented!’
The crazy guy who had stabbed me with a knife… the one who had killed me with a knife attack.
Swish.
I saw him pull something sharp and silver out of his pocket.
Fate continues.
The guy who killed me in my past life had come again to kill me.
Boom.
Before I could sort out the situation, he reached out.
I could see the knife in his hand coming right before my abdomen.
And…
I felt a hot pain below.
Slash-!
“Ugh-!”
“Ah-!!”
Before the knife touched me, I struck Namgung Soo-ho’s wrist with my fist.
“Ow ow…”
It felt like my bones were smashing together, and I felt a hot pain in my hand as well…
“AHHH-!”
With his wrist broken, Namgung Soo-ho screamed in pain and dropped the knife.
I didn’t miss that opportunity and quickly grabbed the three-section staff that was ready in the shoe rack and swung it at him.
Clang-!!! Clang-!!!
“AHHHHH-!!! W-wait a sec…!! AHHH-!!”
I hit him on the head first, and he immediately fell to the ground.
I wasn’t about to take any chances that he might rise again; I kept beating him from head to toe.
“I learned self-defense because of guys like you!”
Ever since that incident with Shin Si-woo…
“Older brother Sang-gu, could you teach me self-defense?”
“Self-defense?”
I learned self-defense from older brother Sang-gu.
“…Ye-rin, you’ve got some serious talent.”
“Really?”
“Your strength is amazing. I would believe you were a guy.”
And now I was vigorously hitting the guy with this three-section staff.
When he first started stalking me, Lee Ji-woo had brought me these things while crying because she thought I was in danger.
I had no idea how to get rid of them, so I had kept them all around the dorm ever since I was with Rookies.
If you go into my room, there are various other tools like sprays and whistles.
“You got caught. Do you know how scared I was that day?”
Because of this guy’s stalking, I had developed a habit of jumping at the sight of unfamiliar men for a while.
Thanks to that, unpleasant memories resurfaced…
Crunch-! Crunch-!
“AHHHHH-!!”
I kept stomping on this scrawny guy until my anger subsided.
About a minute passed.
“Phew…”
“Ughhh…, ugh…”
After my anger had calmed somewhat and he became covered in bruises, I finally stopped.
And….
Thud thud thud.
As soon as I stopped, I heard something ringing from somewhere…
“Ye-rin-!!!”
“Boss…”
Soon, Kang Hyung-man appeared.
Did he run here instead of taking the elevator? His face and dress shirt were drenched in sweat.
But what caught my attention the most was… Kang Hyung-man’s expression.
‘He must have been really worried.’
Kang Hyung-man’s expression changed continuously.
When he first ran over, he looked like a demon coming to kill someone… but when he saw that I was safe, he visibly relaxed.
Seeing those changing expressions showed me how much he cared, and it felt good.
And….
‘…Huh?’
I recalled another forgotten memory, like how I remembered Namgung Soo-ho’s face earlier.
When I was dying from being stabbed indiscriminately by Namgung Soo-ho in my past life… there was a man who helped me.
‘…Hey, young lady. Are you okay…? Just hang in there. I’ve called 119.’
That man’s face came back to me clearly.
It was Kang Hyung-man.
“…Boss.”
“…Ye-rin, are you smiling right now?”
Kang Hyung-man was scolding me while tying up the unconscious Namgung Soo-ho.
Still, I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face.
Like fate continued… so did bonds.
In my past life, while I was dying, I prayed to be able to live without loneliness in my next life… to have a family.
And….
In this life, when I’m in danger, I have someone who comes to save me…
Someone who doesn’t let me feel lonely.
Kang Hyung-man not only watched over my last moments in my past life but also stays by my side in this life.
He gives me dreams… protects me… and makes me smile.
He was…
What I desperately wanted in both my past and this life.
It was “family.”
And… my precious people were not just limited to this.
“Ye-rin-!”
“W-What? Who are you?!”
The members who had belatedly returned from taking the elevator rushed over when they saw me holding the three-section staff and Namgung Soo-ho tied up.
“What-What happened?!”
“W-we were worried because you didn’t come back, so we all came together but what’s going on…?”
“Ye-rin, are you hurt anywhere?!”
…With their faces filled with concern for me, these five members were…
My friends and companions, and….
They never let me feel lonely…
They are my partners who will achieve dreams together with me.
“…How happy I am to have such precious people by my side.”
I knew it wasn’t really a situation to smile about, but I couldn’t help it.
I closed my eyes and smiled….
Hug.
I embraced the members tightly.
Though they weren’t here, older brother Sang-gu, trainer Lee Ji-woo, Han Si-woo, and the other Brotherhood Planning folks.
The reward that the quest had given me.
In other words, what I wanted most.
It was “family.”
“Ye-Ye-rin…”
“Eonnie?”
The members, still not grasping the situation, looked shocked as I smiled and hugged them.
I patted them and said, “I’m just really happy…”
“What’s so great?”
“Just… being together like this is wonderful.”
While Kang Hyung-man was completing the bindings on Namgung Soo-ho and signaling for the police, I kept holding on to the members.
Realizing that everyone here was my quest reward…
It made it even more precious.
But then…
“…But Boss, I’ve been curious since earlier.”
“Hmm?”
“…Who is that person?”
…Who is that man standing behind Kang Hyung-man?
Curious about the identity of the unfamiliar face between Kang Hyung-man and the members, I asked, and Kang Hyung-man answered as if he had just remembered.
“Oh, this person is your fan, Ye-rin.”
“…A fan?”
“Yeah, thanks to this person informing me you were in danger, I was able to come running ahead of time.”
“Aah…”
How did they know I was in danger?
Even though I was filled with questions, I bowed my head in gratitude to that fan.
And…
“Wait! Speaking of which…!”
I realized who that person was.
“That person from Japan, right?”
“……”
The Japanese fan who had come to several fan signing events.
The first Japanese fan I had met, so I remember him clearly.
“Arigatou!”
“……”
“I’m sure your name is… Tanjiro-kun?”
“……Ah, hi.”
Seeing a familiar fan for the first time in a long while made me happy, and I kept bowing my head and shaking his hand.
But that was all it was.
If the distance between an idol and a fan gets too close, it could lead to some unfortunate incident.
More than anything, I was in my pajamas and had no makeup on at all.
Plus, given that it was late, I decided to change my clothes and go back inside the dorm.
“I’ll just go change my clothes.”
“Sure, go change. You all wait in the car together. I’ll hand this guy over to the police and follow you.”
“Okay.”
But just as I was about to open the door and go inside…
“Uh, excuse me…!!”
“……!”
The fan, who I thought was Japanese, suddenly spoke fluent Korean.
Surprised, I turned back…
“Uh, um…”
He was making a significant expression.
“Wait a sec!!”
Heading toward A building at a friend’s house, Yoo Chang-seon suddenly recalled who that scarred man was and redirected his stride toward building D.
Of course, he didn’t know why that guy was here but…
Something felt uneasy.
It could be called a gut feeling.
He had a notion that Ha Ye-rin’s genuine stalker might not just be here for no reason.
But….
‘He’s gone!’
By the time he went toward building D, Ye-rin Soo-ho had already vanished from sight.
It seemed she had taken the elevator… but he had no idea which floor she had gone to.
At that moment…
“…!”
He noticed a man waiting for the elevator.
Yoo Chang-seon, a fan of Ha Ye-rin, had researched her and became familiar with the Brotherhood Planning agency.
[Where is Brotherhood Planning? : Meeting with CEO Kang.]
That must have been the title.
He had seen Kang Hyung-man’s face in that article, and now the very Kang Hyung-man was right in front of him.
If that’s the case…
‘The dormitory for ISIS is here…?’
Having quickly pieced the situation together, Yoo Chang-seon shouted desperately at Kang Hyung-man.
“Mr. Kang Hyung-man!! CEO of Brotherhood Planning!!!”
“…What? Who are you…?”
“Ye-rin is in danger! There’s a stalker! A stalker!”
“……!”
As soon as he heard about a stalker, Kang Hyung-man glanced at the elevator that wasn’t coming and then began to dash towards the emergency stairs like a madman.
“Wait! Let’s go together…!!”
Thus, Yoo Chang-seon followed Kang Hyung-man in a fluster, and that’s how he ended up in this situation.
‘Huff, huff…! Ye-rin in her pajamas is super cute…’
Following Kang Hyung-man, Yoo Chang-seon saw Ha Ye-rin taking down Ye-rin Soo-ho with a three-section staff and hugging with her members.
However….
“Is that person from Japan again?”
“……”
“Thank you!”
“……”
“I’m sure your name is… Tanjiro-kun?”
“……Ah, hi.”
She still thought of him as a Japanese fan.
It wasn’t that he wanted to bask in the attention after this incident…
But it felt unjust.
So before Ha Ye-rin could go inside, he shouted.
“Uh, excuse me…!!”
“……!”
His sudden shout caught the attention of Ha Ye-rin, the members, and even Kang Hyung-man.
“Uh, um…”
He called out boldly, but everyone’s gaze landed on him, leaving him flustered.
‘There was something I wanted to tell Ye-rin when I met her directly…’
Every time he met Ha Ye-rin at fan signings, he couldn’t say anything because she mistook him for Japanese.
Taking a deep breath, he spoke as a fan to Ha Ye-rin.
“Um… actually, I’m not Japanese; I’m Korean… and I’ve been a fan since Na Ah Ah came out….”
Once he started talking, memories flooded back.
When Ha Ye-rin first appeared in Na Ah Ah, he couldn’t take his eyes off her.
When she showcased her stage, he was so mesmerized that all he could think about was her.
That long and arduous period of service passed quickly thanks to her.
“I’ve seen all of Na Ah Ah too… I saw you winning… I saw you working hard in Rookies….”
Some people pointed fingers at him, saying he was wasting money and time, but he never thought that way.
He was… genuinely happy while cheering for Ha Ye-rin.
“I followed Rookies’ music shows a lot… I went to fan signings… I attended the last concert… and um…”
Yoo Chang-seon wanted to repay even a little of the happiness he received from her.
He rambled on and then raised his thumb as he met Ha Ye-rin’s gaze.
“…Anyway, Ye-rin was truly the best.”
“……!”
“You and the other ISIS members are truly the best idols to me.”
Although his message was lengthy…
You were the best to me.
That was what Yoo Chang-seon wanted to tell Ha Ye-rin.
It seemed Ha Ye-rin appreciated his words as her eyes opened wide.
Relieved, Yoo Chang-seon was about to breathe a sigh of relief when…
“And I’ll support ISIS’s activities from now on… ugh…!!”
Hug.
Ha Ye-rin approached and lightly embraced him.
“Thank you.”
Ha Ye-rin smiled and slowly began to speak.
But the fact that she hugged him almost made Yoo Chang-seon faint, and he couldn’t catch her words.
When I called out his name
He came to me and became a flower.
I had been thinking about what it means to be the best idol.
Record? Achievements?
Is it being number one for several weeks on a music streaming site?
Is it gathering thousands of spectators at a concert?
Is it the best idol if you win an idol survival show?
All those questions were wrong.
An idol cannot become an idol alone.
Without fans, an idol is just a non-productive entertainer.
It is because there are fans who love and support the idols that they exist.
If my stage, song, and dance…
If the fans genuinely enjoy, be happy, and call me the best idol…
“Ye-rin and the other ISIS members are truly the best idols to me.”
I would finally become the best idol.
“Thank you.”
It was only after hearing this man’s words that I realized that.
Like this person… there are countless fans whose names I don’t know but who always watch over me, so I’m able to be here.
It’s not because I’m so great…
It’s because of the fans that I can be an idol.
“I’ll work hard for you all from now on.”
Finally, as I parted from the fan, I noticed his face turning bright red.
“Y-Yes, I… will be taking my leave then!! A-and lastly…!”
Feeling embarrassed, he quickly pulled away from me and bowed his head.
Then….
“Ye-Ye-rin and the other ISIS members, congratulations on your debut again today!!”
He left with one last comment as if he was escaping.
I watched his retreating figure with a smile and said to the members and Kang Hyung-man.
“Let’s work really hard from now on.”
I recalled what Han Si-woo had said to me once.
“I always feel indebted to the fans.”
The boundless love the fans give me…
I would repay that as if I was paying off a debt.
Of course, not alone…
“Of course.”
“Let’s totally slay this showcase today.”
…With my family right beside me.
Feeling the trust in Kang Hyung-man and the members reflected in their eyes, I couldn’t help but smile.
It was the happiest smile in the world that I had never been able to show before.
I became an idol to repay my debts. (完)