Chapter 8: Recurring Nightmare
It's been a few days since that little incident with my mana, and because of my stubborn desire to empty my mana pool, Master forbade me from practicing with mana outside; well, at least until I can actually manipulate my mana, so until then, I'm forced to practice inside the house, not like it's that much of an inconvenience.
Once my mana had finally started regenerating, the intense pain that felt like my heart was constantly being constricted started diminishing until it completely disappeared when my mana pool was filled entirely, though it did take slightly longer than what Master predicted.
Yesterday, I talked with Master about the theory that I came up with, which was the cause for everything, and she said that what I came up with would work; it should decrease the amount of time needed to sense mana and as long as you don't do something stupid like I what I did, there should be no drawbacks. If anything, I'm killing two birds at once since if I'm constantly emptying my mana pool; then I am also getting more accustomed to having low mana.
Now then currently, I'm inside my private room that Master had built for me shortly after I turned four; it's nothing crazy, just a small bedroom, but it feels nice having your own private room, especially since I don't have to share a bed with Master anymore.
'Although, while I do enjoy having my own room, I miss sleeping with Master every night; her body is so warm and comfortable, not to mention she smells like flowers.' Thought Alexander while lying on his bed made out of wood, leaves, and plant fiber, which was quite comfortable.
Shaking my head to banish such weird thoughts, I sat up and activated [Heroes Gaze] while intensely focusing on my heart so that I may be able to sense the location of my mana. After several minutes of constantly using the skill, I deactivated it when my mana was roughly twenty percent full; at this point, while I couldn't directly sense my mana, I could feel that my heart had become somewhat hollow.
However, unfortunately, even after two hours, I hadn't fully grasped my mana's location in my heart. As time passed, it became harder since my mana was constantly regenerating. Once my mana was sixty or seventy percent full, I'd repeat the cycle by activating [Heroes Gaze] for several minutes and stop just before or right when I gained the condition [Mana exhaustion].
For the rest of the day, I did nothing but practice sensing my mana, though while I didn't find it, I felt like I had made progress, which is much better than before when I didn't make an ounce of progress even after the same amount of time had passed. Well, not exactly the rest of the day; for most of the day, I practiced sensing my mana, and the rest of the day had been spent training my body; of course, this excluded things necessary for life, such as eating or defecating.
I haven't adopted anything too extreme for my physical training regime yet; however, after living in my new body for five years, my perception of extremes has dramatically changed. Even though I currently have a child's physique, I'm capable of lifting a giant rock off the ground that should weigh at least a ton with relative ease; I'm able to outrun even the fastest of Earth animals easily and don't even let me get started on my senses or perception as the status panel labels it.
'Anyways, that's enough training for today; if I overwork myself too much, I won't be able to train optimally tomorrow, well that's a lie; I managed to heal an almost destroyed heart within an hour, I'm sure a few torn muscle fibers will be healed within a few minutes or so, and it's all thanks to the skill [Rebirth].' Thought Alexander as he yawned while approaching his bedroom door.
"Goodnight, Master!" Yelled Alexander as he opened the door and entered his dimly lit room.
"Goodnight, Alexander."
Closing the door behind me, I do a little bit of stretching before getting into bed underneath the blanket, yet unlike all the other leaf blankets in the house, the one I'm using is blue and made from wool and cotton. This blanket is special to me as it's the only thing that connects me with my deceased mother; I never did get to meet her, and unfortunately, Master doesn't know anything about her either, but from the little bit she told me, she seemed like a wonderful mother. I've already visited the grave Master made for her; I see her quite often as well, usually once a week if not more, and I stay there for about an hour talking to her about my life and other things a mother would possibly be interested in knowing about their child.
'I'm getting tired; haa, goodnight, Mother.' Thought Alexander as he shifted in the bed before closing his eyes while the blue blanket tightly hugged his body.
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Coming to, I open my eyes, and when I notice I'm not in my familiar room, I cautiously observe my surroundings as I stand up from the ground.
"Master? Master, are you there!?" Exclaimed Alexander in a somewhat deep voice that surprised even him.
"This isn't my voice; no, it used to be my voice, but not anymore. What's going on? Wait, don't tell me; it's that dream again." Muttered Alexander with a frown as he began inspecting his body, which surprisingly wasn't that of a child, and was instead the body of a man; granted, it was pretty small, not much larger than the average woman.
'Not only is it my old voice, but it's my previous body as well. So that means I'm experiencing that nightmare again; since that's the case, maybe I can save her this time.' Thought Alexander as he ignored his body and began running through the poorly lit area in haste, only for him to hear the sound of a crying child.
"P-Please, s-stop!" Said the child, full of pain in between her bouts of intense sobbing; however, it seemed like her pleas were ignored.
"Ugh, s-shut up, girl! You're needless c-crying is ruining t-the experience!" Stated a man in a deep voice who seemed heavily under the influence.
Hearing the two of them, I increased my speed to my absolute limit while anger burned in my heart; I quickly turned the corner, only for me to come face to face with the sight of a large drunken man forcefully holding a little girl who could be no older than eleven years old by her arms.
The little girl was entirely nude, allowing me to view her bruised and malnourished body, while the drunk man was using his free hand to loosen his belt; it didn't take a genius to realize what was happening.
Even though I've probably seen this sight nearly one hundred times, I still couldn't stop myself from being filled with rage and absolute disgust; though, unlike the first few times this happened and despite the powerful emotions surging through my heart, I stayed calm and continued running full-sprint toward the large man, who was easily twice my bodyweight.
"Huh, who are-" Said the large man as he groggily turned to his head to the right when he heard Alexanders' footsteps, yet he was rudely interrupted with a knee straight to the face that caused him to stumble back, nearly falling to the ground.
Gracefully landing on the ground, I quickly reached forward, catching the little girl and gently setting her on the floor behind me before turning around and focusing on the large man who had just regained his bearings.
"Y-You bastard; I'll kill you!" Exclaimed the large man as he grabbed his broken and bloody nose before focusing on Alexander and charging toward him.
Seeing the large man charge toward me, I released a defeated sigh knowing that no matter what I did, the outcome would always be the same; while I knew doing nothing would be the quickest way to get this terrible nightmare over with, I just couldn't bring myself to do that.
'I suppose It wouldn't be too far-fetched to call me insane.' Thought Alexander as he slid underneath the legs of the man before violently kicking his knees, causing him to lose his balance and collapse on the ground while grabbing his knee.
Once he was on the ground rolling around in pain, I pounced on him and began violently pounding his face with everything I had; my hands were quickly engulfed in pain while covered in his and my blood, yet I didn't stop and continued punching on him.
Yet, from the moment I first attacked the large man with a flying knee, I could feel my strength slowly getting sapped away, and every time I punched him, the speed at which my strength diminished only increased; currently, I was probably about as powerful as the malnourished little girl.
Knowing what was about to happen if I continued punching him, I stopped and quickly jumped back, just in time, too, as the man had just punched where I previously was; if I had not retreated, I would've been on the ground, unable to move, which had happened to me last time I experienced this nightmare.
'Everything up till now, I already knew what was going to happen; now I'm in new territory.' Thought Alexander as he grabbed several small rocks on the ground and began chucking them at the man who was in the process of standing up, though his attacks did little more than annoy the man.
"Ugh. I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Yelled the man in rage as he once again charged at Alexander, though he was sporting a bloody and mangled face this time.
Having already predicted he might've charged at me, and knowing that no matter what I do, the man before me won't learn, I once again attempted to slide between his legs, which worked. However, since I only had the strength of a little girl, when I went to kick the man's legs, my attack did absolutely nothing, and before I could back away, I saw the man turn around while violently attacking me with his backhand.
While I could see and perceive his attack, having the strength of a little girl meant that I wasn't even remotely fast enough to evade or dodge the attack. With a wave of pain emanating from the right side of my face, my body flew a couple of feet to the side before violently slamming against a wall.
Sensing intense pain spreading nearly all over my body, I ignored it and attempted to regain my footing, yet before I could, I was once again punched; this time, it was in the stomach, and it caused me to keel over and vomit whatever was in my dream body.
The moment I finished vomiting, I was violently kicked in the face, which caused my body to collapse as I dropped onto the vomit-filled ground. Before I could even move, the man grabbed me on the shoulder, flipped me onto my back, and began violently bombarding me with punches. Each one carried the power to knock me out, yet whether it was because of luck or because this was merely a dream created by my subconscious, I stayed lucid through the whole thing.
After who knew how long, the man finally stopped attacking me and backed away from my body while roughly breathing before ignoring me and approaching the little girl in the corner who hadn't moved from the spot where I placed her down.
"Tch, because of that bastard, I'm no longer in the mood." Said the man, who was covered in blood
Seeing the man approach her, I tried my hardest to stand back up, yet I couldn't feel my limbs; the only thing I could sense was the intense pain. So, while feeling utterly terrible and pathetic, I watched how the man violently beat the helpless and defenseless little girl until she was an unrecognizable corpse.
Once he finished killing the little girl, he gave the little girl's corpse one last glance before nearing me again. When he was standing right beside me, I saw him lift his foot directly above my head before slamming it down. That was the last thing I saw before I awoke from my slumber.