Grab the Regressor by the Collar and Debut!

Chapter 280. The Important Thing (2)

The peaceful atmosphere of the year-end stage strategy meeting in the living room had now completely transformed into a full-blown interrogation room.

When I came to my senses, I found myself kneeling in the middle of the living room, as if I were the boyfriend who had been caught dating the youngest daughter of a noble family, dragged into the front yard. The sharp gazes of the members, who were all glaring at me from the sofa, were an added bonus.

‘Is this really happening?’

Had I decided to throw away the power and authority of a leader?

No, more than that, why did I have to be in this criminal mode?

Feeling that I hadn’t done anything wrong, I raised my head and defended myself.

“No, we’ve debuted, so it’s only natural to keep an eye on the opposing team…!”

At that, Seo Taehyun, who was leaning back on the sofa with his arms crossed and legs folded, raised an eyebrow.

“So, are you saying you think they’re better than us?”

“When did I ever say that…?”

Why am I suddenly speaking formally?

But under the intense stares of the six pairs of eyes, each filled with things left unsaid, I couldn’t continue speaking and just lowered my head.

Then, Yugeon, who had been watching the situation with the most detached attitude, his hands clasped behind his head, spoke up.

“Well, he’s not entirely wrong, is he? Lanion’s been doing really well these days. Even in Yurang’s class, it’s almost split between our fans and Lanion’s fans. It’s only natural that comparisons are being made.”

Finally, after receiving financial therapy, our Yugeon was starting to pay back for all the pork belly and rice he ate.

Nodding quickly in agreement with Yugeon, who was on my side, Eunchan, who had been sitting on the floor, cut in.

“I don’t really care about other groups, but I can’t understand that hyung wasn’t fully focused on our group’s stage because of that.”

“……”

“I haven’t known you for long, but I do know you’re not usually like this. You’re always thinking about what to do next if something doesn’t work out, and if that doesn’t work out, then you’d think of something else.”

I quietly closed my mouth at Eunchan’s words.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have anything to say; it was just that I found it hard to articulate my thoughts.

I didn’t want to be overshadowed by Lanion, who was rising rapidly. It also bothered me that what we were enjoying now was originally something Lanion had. At the same time, I felt burdened by the immense success we achieved much faster and more suddenly than I expected….

Unable to convey all these thoughts eloquently, I simply responded.

“I don’t know either. …This is my first time being an idol.”

There was a brief moment of silence in the living room.

As everyone searched for something to say, Lee Doha called out to me in a very low voice.

“Hajin.”

“……?”

“Do you want to be number one?”

Doha’s eyes showed genuine curiosity. I avoided his gaze and shrugged.

“Well…. If I’m doing this anyway, it’d be nice to be number one, right? Having tried it once, I want it even more.”

“Then, is the music you want to make the kind that will get you to number one?”

“…….”

“As the leader of our group, if that’s your goal, it should be the goal of all of us. That’s why I’m asking.”

What’s he trying to say?

Doha’s intention was so clear that it became hard to grasp. As I pondered over his words, he calmly continued to express his thoughts.

“You asked me before to give you ‘songs we can sing.’”

“…….”

“Then, I’m wondering if the songs you want are the ones that can reach number one.”

Why did I want to become an idol in the first place?

Doha’s words made me recall a decision I had made one day, a long time ago, that I had almost forgotten.

As I briefly reflected on my initial intentions, Dan Haru cautiously spoke up.

“Hyung. Do you not enjoy performing with us?”

“…What?”

“You don’t seem excited at all.”

Haru pouted his lips like he was sulking. His face was filled with half worry and half hurt.

“During the monthly evaluation, during ‘Miro Maze,’ during our debut, and even when we made ‘This Ain’t a Carol,’ you always seemed excited. You had so many ideas, suggesting this and that.”

“…….”

“But now… you don’t seem like that.”

I felt as though I could almost grasp the vague reason behind the headache that had been pressing down on me, but my thoughts were still unclear. I quietly looked inside my heart, trying to sort out the emotions that remained.

It was true… This was the first time I’d found preparing for a stage so stressful.

“Then let’s do this.”

Taking my place, which had been silent for a while, Jung Siwoo opened his mouth.

“For this year-end cover stage, Hajin, you’re out of the planning.”

“…What?”

“This time, we’ll pick the song and concept ourselves, based on what we want to do.”

Out of the stage planning?

While I was bewildered by this somewhat drastic development, Siwoo continued firmly.

“Hajin, you’re doing too much right now. You’re overseeing the ‘LET US’ content for the kids, preparing for other year-end stages, and the next album concept meetings are coming up soon too.”

“No, but….”

“The kids have experience, so they can handle a cover stage on their own. Instead, whatever we decide, you just follow.”

Siwoo had already made up his mind and decided on the conclusion without giving me any choice.

I wanted to object, but honestly, in my current state, I had no idea what kind of stage to plan or how to go about it, so I had no choice but to nod.

“Forget about the cover stage for now and relax. It’s your birthday today, after all.”

“You made me kneel at midnight on my birthday…?”

“Do you think it ended with just kneeling because it’s your birthday? If it weren’t your birthday, I would’ve made you stand with your hands up and face the wall.”

There’s no point in arguing. Better stay quiet.

I quietly placed my hands back on my knees and straightened my posture, but my legs were starting to get numb.

Noticing this, Seo Taehyun got up from the sofa, lightening the mood.

“Alright, let’s leave it at that for today. It’s getting late.”

“Everyone agrees with me, right? We’ll handle this cover stage ourselves?”

“I’m good with it!”

“Sounds fine to me.”

“Whatever, just let that hyung get up already. He’s going to get a cramp at this rate.”

“…I already have one.”

In the end, I was barely able to get up with the help of Yugeon and Doha.

Watching the other guys slowly return to their rooms, I still felt a bit restless. It was an undefined emotion that made me cough lightly as I headed into the room I shared with Doha.

“Ah, Hajin.”

“Yeah?”

“Here. Wook hyung told me to give this to you.”

As I awkwardly entered the room and flopped onto the bed, Doha, who had been rummaging through his bag as if he’d just remembered something, handed me a small, transparent plastic box. Curious, I looked inside and saw it was filled with blue sticky notes with something written on them.

“What’s this?”

“A birthday message for you. Apparently, fans wrote these during the birthday café event… yesterday.”

The fans wrote these themselves?

Events like rolling papers were quite common, but maybe because I wasn’t expecting it, I felt a bit dazed as I accepted the box. Seeing this, Doha naturally turned off the lights and moved the mood lamp from between our beds to my side, saying,

“If you’re going to read them now, use this lamp. I’m going to sleep first.”

“Oh? Oh… Thanks.”

“…….”

“……?”

Even after finishing his task, Doha stood there, staring at me as if he still had something to say. By the way, the last time he made that face was when he bluntly criticized me for slacking off in the part distribution during ‘Miro Maze.’

‘Is he about to throw another verbal jab at me?’

Instinctively raising the box to guard myself, Doha chose that moment to speak.

“Are we part of your pride?”

“……? What’s with the sudden question?”

“I just hope so.”

“…….”

“Then, maybe you’d believe in yourself a little more.”

Only then did I notice that Doha’s gaze wasn’t on me but on the small sticker with the phrase attached to the plastic box.

*Your pride.*

It was a sentence that had come to my mind without hesitation when I first decided to hold a birthday café event.

“I… I just want my friend to have more confidence in himself.”

“…….”

“If it’s hard to believe in yourself, at least believe in us.”

Doha, who rarely smiled so comfortably, patted my shoulder.

“That’s what being a team is, right?”

“……Hey.”

“Do you know why I quit sports and decided to do music instead?”

Doha, who had been spouting one touching line after another, now started to unfold his backstory.

I’m done for. I’m a sucker for this kind of thing.

“There’s no process in sports.”

“…….”

“My effort, my practice… All of it is important, but in the end, if you don’t win the match, you lose

.”

As if proving that he had been involved in sports for a long time, that guy always maintained a proper and upright posture, even when sitting. Doha continued, rubbing the calluses on his palm.

“But music isn’t like that, and that’s what I liked about it.”

“…Why? Music has results too. Rookie awards, grand prizes, number one, top rankings.”

“That’s a reward. Not a win or a loss.”

“…….”

“Even if you don’t win that reward, it doesn’t mean the music lost.”

To me, results were important.

No. Actually, I don’t think that’s how I originally felt, but looking back now, I think I started to think that way at some point.

I wanted to win rookie of the year for Dan Haru’s sake, I wanted to prove to my parents that I was someone who could do well, I wanted recognition from others, and I wanted to earn more money.

But if that was the reason I became an idol….

‘That doesn’t seem right.’

Doha, sensing that I was beginning to sort out my thoughts, didn’t say anything more and lay down. Seeing him search for his eye mask, which he always hung beside his bed, I figured he was trying to give me space to read the fans’ messages without feeling interrupted.

-If it’s hard to believe in yourself, at least believe in us.

Was I still doubting myself?

Was I still unable to believe that I deserved these results?

There were still countless question marks floating around inside me, like balloons, but I quietly opened the box without thinking any further. Inside, 100 birthday messages from the 100 fans I had met today were filling the box to the brim.

**

**

**

….

“…Ha, seriously.”

If they keep doing this, I’m going to get spoiled.

Despite my determination to bury myself underground, their overwhelming support felt like a crane was lifting me up and throwing me onto a skyscraper rooftop. So, I spent the rest of the night reading and rereading all those messages.

* * *

However, a few days later.

Looking at the hopeful group project results from the members who had told me to trust only them, I couldn’t shake off the feeling that I had been scammed.

“…Is this for real?”

“We’re serious.”

I was….

So moved….

“What… what did you say you were going to do?”

Those touching words that made me shed a few tears last night and reflect deeply on myself….

Blinking in disbelief at the absurd result, I asked again, and Taehyun, looking pleased with himself, cheerfully repeated the concept for our cover song.

“We decided to do a cute, innocent girl group song for this stage.”

What kind of nonsense is this? It’s like taking an Italian mafia to play house with Kongsuni, you crazy guys…!?