NOVEL WEB 71 – A Dream
Selene Voss
They were like beautiful orbs of shining emerald, eyes like those didn't have a place on a human. Just a single glance into a pair of eyes like those would make the rest of the person look pitifully average in comparison, maybe even ugly.
Not on Echidna though. They were like jewels on the otherworldly woman, enhancing her supernatural beauty even further, but Selene could barely think about anything else than those forest-green orbs staring into her soul.
A Soul that felt pitiful whenever she caught a glimpse of the woman's own. If Selene was a candlelight the woman was the Sun or an entire galaxy onto herself.
How could She want her? How could a goddess need anything from a mortal like her?
Selene didn't know. She didn't understand. She was a failure as a daughter, a failure as a Captain and a failure as a Human.
Everything she was holding back, forcing down into the depths of her soul and behind the facade of a competent captain, surged out with a vengeance.
Her parents were dead. Her entire crew was probably also dead and she … she …
Soft fingers caressed her cheeks, thumbs carefully swept away her tears, and her warmth warmed her icy heart.
An alien. A Xeno. An enemy.
Selene Voss knew in that moment without a doubt that she was a heretic. She could look at the alien woman as long as she wanted, but not even a smidge of disgust could sprout in her heart.
Her heart hammered in her chest as her breathing became heavier. Her blood pumped and adrenaline flooded her veins.
A warm breath tickled her nose and a pleasurable shiver rushed down her spine and jumped into her core.
Self-loathing bubbled beneath the addictive feeling of those soft hands on her face. She should have been the best of the human species. She should have been Noble.
"I shouldn't," she whispered, her eyes snapping wide as she realized she actually spoke her thoughts.
"This," the woman spoke, her voice still gentle and full of adoration but now with an edge she was all to familiar with, an edge aimed at things that irritated her, "Is why I hate this galaxy, you are the best Selene but even you live locked inside this fantasy."
"Don-"
"Selene," her mouth snapped shut at the chilly voice, "I just confessed my love for you. Please don't bring in your fake religion for a worthless corpse into this."
Righteous anger ignited in her stomach, but then she looked into her eyes again.
Echidna. The woman who slaughtered a Tyranid Swarm, fought off a horde of demons, killed an Ork Warboss without noticing it and slaughtered a million of Tyranids just hours ago, looked so fragile. Selene could barely wrap her head around it. She'd seen the woman injured before, but even then she felt like she'd jump up and kill another demon if it came wandering over, but now she looked like she might just fracture into a thousand pieces if she rejected her.
A monster that becomes what she believes she is, a monster that is guided by her emotions and self-image.
The words came back to her and just now did she realize that what she said before was all the truth?
Selene, in that moment, had power over one of the most powerful beings in the galaxy. A single word and her heart would break. Maybe even forming an irrecoverable wound on her soul and sending her down a path filled with darkness.
Nooooo!
'Break it! Break her! Break Her!'
NO!
The whispers quietened again, constantly chattering away in the back of her mind, but after that single moment of clarity, she thankfully couldn't make out what they were saying anymore.
"Sorry," the woman apologized as her gaze flickered to the side in shame. "I shouldn't have said that. I just … I just hate how everyone is so warped by something in this galaxy."
When Selene looked up at Echidna, gone was the goddess she saw her as. She only saw a woman, or maybe just a girl, who was broken. A girl who craved to love and to be loved.
With that realization, the defences built up around Selene's heart broke.
Growing up among siblings who knew they'd have to fight to the death one day if they wanted to amount to anything in a household that only valued service to the house and to the Imperium wasn't a place she'd experienced anything that could even vaguely be called love. Then came the Guard and staying alive became her primary goal, useless things like love getting pushed into the background. Then she, by some miracle, won and became the inheriting Rogue Trader. A Captain. A role where one made acquaintances and lapdogs, but no friends.
Love was a myth. Nobles married for connections and gain.
Wasn't this how they described it? Heart throbbing, blood pumping, and wanting nothing more than to kiss those delectable lips already?
That was lust. Wasn't it? Or was it something more? Something … purer?
"I- " Selene flinched as the woman's gaze was back on her faster than the eye could follow her movement. "I'd like to try."
"Try what?" the woman frowned in confusion.
"This," Selene gulped, "Us?"
How do I say this? She'd given a whole speech for why she doesn't know what love is. It'd be so embarrassing to tell my lame story after that one. What is growing up unloved to being a literal monster without emotions only months ago?
"Us?" the innocent girlish smile on Echidna's face would have shattered any futile defence Selene could have put up around her heart. Not that she bothered to, she knew she was done for. "Try?" she tilted her head.
"I - uhm," damnit, words. "I'm not sure if I entirely feel the same way as you do," Selene grimaced as the woman — girl's — face fell like a kicked puppy. Selene was sure she liked the girl, but love? Love was a strong word.
Echidna obviously had problems, she was broken in a way no human could ever be and she was trying to use Selene to fill some of those fractures in herself.
That... She liked that. Echidna needing her, she really liked that.
Not to mention that the strange woman was hardly the only broken one out of the two of them. If her parents didn’t already break something fundamental in her, the Guard did.
One did come out sane from that place. She probably needed Echidna just as much as she needed Selene.
Or was it just her mind playing tricks on her? Was she just imagining all these things because here warmth felt so addictive on her skin?
Did it even go further than being enthralled by her looks? Or was she just growing attached because she lost everyone else so fast and the girl showed her some kindness?
Selene wasn't a psychiatrist, or even that knowledgeable about mental conditions, but even she knew that she wasn't in the right state of mind at the moment. She was grieving, mad and alone. Plus she couldn’t be said to have been ‘alright’ even before that.
All these feelings might just be fake, her dumb heart trying to latch onto the one good thing remaining in her life. Said good thing being a possibly psychotic alien masquerading as a human. Selene had problems.
But I don't want to reject her. Her stomach was doing weird flip-flops as she looked at the hurt expression on her face. Her words hurt a living goddess. Selene couldn't quite wrap her mind around it, but it made her feel… powerful.
She hated the weak and self-pitying part of herself that felt empowered by having some semblance of control over such a powerful being.
She gulped. She knew she should reject the dangerous alien. Even if some of the God Emperor's teachings have been twisted by the Ecclesiarchy, his stance on Xenos carried through the ages. All rational parts of her told her to trick the Xeno and do everything in her power to get away from her, while a patriotic part of her even wanted to call the Inquisition.
That part died screaming, shuffled into a faraway cupboard that got locked shut and thrown into the abyss.
Those gentle fingers on her cheeks, that vulnerable look, all the times the woman fussed over her and was just there when everyone else was just not, didn't let that part of her win.
Another part of her, the one her family trained for a decade and what got further honed in the Guard was edging her on. 'Kiss the woman, make her love you, make her addicted to you. Use the opportunity that fell into your lap and make the most of it, control her, manipulate her and discard her when she no longer has any use.'
Selene shivered as she once again reaffirmed that she was never going to be the woman her parents wanted her to be. There were enough spineless manipulating assholes in this galaxy already. She didn't want to add herself to their numbers.
No matter how much her mind protested, her heart was eagerly beating in her chest and pumping her full of hormones that did silly things to her body.
She wanted this; she needed this… even if she was loath to admit it even to herself. Much less to the girl in front of her.
"BUT," she interrupted, gently touching the girl's hands on her cheeks, "I want to give it a try. I'm not sure how I feel about you, but I'm willing to give this relationship a chance."
"That's not a no," the woman said weakly, her glimmering emerald eyes looking up at Selene shyly. *critical hit*
"It isn't," Selene gulped.
"Good enough form me," the smile she received was beautiful, like a crystal rose that bloomed in the harshest winter.
Selene's self-loathing was by now forgotten. The Emperor could be damned. If he didn't like what she was doing, he could come over here and smite her right this instant.
Now is the moment, Selene thought. Smite me now or stay silent forever.
As no divine lightning was forthcoming, Selene's gaze flickered down from those green orbs and washed over those pouty pink lips, looking especially delectable at that moment.
Then her eyes snapped back up and her gaze intertwined with Echidna's own. She felt the girl's breath on her face, along with her heart skipping a beat.
She leaned forward, and so did Echidna.
My eyes closed just as my lips touched hers, my body jolted and my heart threatened to beat out of my chest.
I was shaking. I could feel my fingers trembling as they held her face as gently as I could. If I wasn't sitting on her lap, my knees might have given out under me.
I kissed her. I was kissing her. It felt unreal, I'd watched he for months, fantasizing about this moment but even my most vivid simulations or induced wet-dreams couldn't measure up to the feeling of actually holding her, of her lips on mine, feeling her heartbeat and her breathing.
She was alive. She was real.
I kissed before; I was a big girl in my last life. I wasn't even a virgin by the time I died, but this was different, so very different.
A single kiss had me nearly moaning.
Selene's fingers left my hands, slowly tracing my arms up to my shoulders before she threw them around my head and pulled me in.
Her mouth cracked open and I felt I might get a heart attack as she licked along my lips. Belatedly, I opened my mouth, and she eagerly intruded with her tongue.
I felt my head go light as the kiss deepened. Her rapid breaths caressed my face as her tongue played with my own, out of my mouth and into hers and back to mine again.
Not sure how long it was, but her lips left mine.
My eyes opened languidly as I let out several deep breaths. Breathing was more a habit than a need at this point so I wasn't gasping for air.
Selene was though, she seemed to have almost drowned with how she was gasping for air, even though her eyes were staring at me with a hunger. She wished she didn't have to breathe either, I could tell. Breathing was a waste of time when you could be kissing instead.
I wholeheartedly agreed, but my poor heart was still mortal and was already so exhausted by this much drama and thrill.
Who knew than fighting for my life wouldn't have me as excited as my first kiss in this new life?
"I- " she gasped again, collected her breathing, and spoke again, " I liked that … I liked that very much."
"I hoped so," I gave her a shy grin. "I loved it."
Her cheeks heated up gorgeously and a wide grin spread on her lips, matching my own.
I felt… good. Fantastic even. I would have thought that making myself so vulnerable in front of someone would have my paranoid eldritch instincts throw a fit and they were protesting but it was just a nudging feeling in the back of my mind, that I was putting myself in a situation that could end disastrously but I could ignore them as it was.
With her, I felt I could be vulnerable. She wouldn't hurt me. I was mostly certain of it.
"Thank you," I said, and my voice cracked for a moment.
"What for?" she looked up at me curiously, and I couldn't help but notice how the tilt of her head revealed her delicate neck to me. Just a little nibble? No, Bad! It's far too soon. I should probably get off her lap as well.
"For giving me a chance," I smiled shyly, few did in my last life and those who did, regretted it. I didn't know what it was about me that made relationships so hard, but I didn't want this one to slip through my fingers.
"It's the least I could do," she said, but her face twitched for a moment as guilt radiated from her aura.
I didn't know what to make of it. What was she feeling guilty for?
My dumb one-track mind realized that no matter how many problems I had, she would be having even more. She grew up in this shithole of a Galactic Empire, fought in wars against horrors my previous self couldn't even imagine, and then she lost her … lover? then she got betrayed, then she lost the crew that remained with her.
And as if to hit the final nail in her coffin, she turned into a Psyker. Evil beings whispered into her mind and tried to corrupt her when she was at her weakest, while an arguably *cough* unusual alien girl was flirting with her.
Yeah, I could see why she would have her mind all over the place and feel uncertain about everything.
Then you could add onto that while her faith in that xenophobic corpse wasn't the strongest, the Ecclesiarchy's teachings still were a fundamental part of her life. Which didn't help when you considered how they treated Psykers and those who 'colluded' with aliens. She probably hates herself.
I just wanted to hug her tightly and tell her that it was going to be alright, that I'd protect her, but a rational part of me stopped me.
What if coming off too strong scared her away? What if I'd push her into just pretending to entertain me? That'd hurt more than a rejection? It'd mean she feared rejecting me, that she was afraid I'd retaliate for her rejecting me.
I think they said just being there helps? Yeah, I'll do that. I can be dependable!
"I should thank you as well," she said as she gently put her arms around my waist, and my stupid stomach decided that this was the time to make me feel like there were butterflies in it. "I wouldn't be here without you. Even if I don't know where this will go, I know that I am grateful to you. You saved my life more than once over the past few months, and you were there for me when no one else was. So thank you."
"You're welcome." I smiled and carefully hugged her back.
Life was good.
Commander Luis Dante
He woke up with a gasp, twin hearts hammering in his chest as the vivid dream played out again in his mind.
He'd met HIM, talked to HIM.
He knew it to be real, as real as the air was on his weathered skin. He spoke to his Sire, his Genefather.
Dante could hardly believe it, but it was the truth.
His teeth gritted in frustration as his pleading cry died in his throat. Was it too much to ask for rest after 15 centuries of fighting? Yet his Sire threw him back out, refusing to take his soul and granting his single wish.
He jumped out of the bed he's been shoved in, feeling younger than he ever felt in a thousand years. His weary old soul felt like it might be worth living a bit longer still.
He needs me to live.
He'd only kept himself alive so far because of a prophecy foretelling him saving the Emperor. He couldn't die and break a prophecy of that magnitude, no matter how tired he was, and now this meeting just reinforced that even if he still felt sour at being forced back into the ranks of the living.
A word his Gene-Father spoke echoed in his mind.
'My greatest son.'
The echoes slowly shifting and morphing from Sanguinius' voice into a sickly sweet voice engineered to perfection.
Dante blinked away the illusion of two glimmering green eyes staring at him.
She knew.
Dante glanced down at himself, the powerarmour still weighted heavily on his body, exhausted as its power pack was and with the gaping wound on his stomach, even its protective functions came under doubt.
He ran a gauntleted finger over the pristine skin revealed by the missing ceramite.
"My Lord?" Dante only now took notice of Albinus, on of the remaining Sanguinary Priests. "My Lord you should not be … standing."
"And yet I am," Dante spoke without any of the wonder he felt at his condition, he was healed and he knew that while his Gene Sire gave him the power to return to the living, he wasn't the one to mend his mortal vessel.
"I- My Lord it is good to have you back." Albinus cut off the questions, undoubtedly weighing his tongue as he bowed slightly. "Chapter Master Seth has taken command in your absence, with the unexpected reinforcements we are holding out, but the Swarm is unrelenting."
"Reinforcements?" Dante already had a sour feeling in his stomach.
"A human Psyker is decimating the Xenos and the enemies ranks have been broken up by a sizable company of heavily armoured vehicles controlled by a Magos-Explorator."
'Me and my three companions.'
"Anything else?" He asked as he made his way over to the door, intent on taking lead of the command center as soon as possible.
"Chapter Master Seth recounted encountering two strange women, both in pristine white armour, one who fought with a ferocity not unlike his own and another who stilled his blade through mere psychic power but both of them disappeared once he and his men found you, unconscious in a field untouched by the Tyranids."
Dante frowned.
She lived.
He ran that thought through his head as he considered the ramifications of it.
And so did I.
He strode out of the room, a pair of Astartes falling into step behind him as he threw the doors open. The battle has been won and despite his reluctance; he was still alive, still meant to fulfill his mission and hold back the horrors of the galaxy for a while more.
The battle might have been won, but the war was still far from over and even with their new unusual allies, he feared the outcome wouldn't be changed.
A beautiful death.
That was the most he could ask for, if not today, maybe tomorrow or a week after.
"My Lord," an Astartes more attentive than the rest noticed him sooner than the other and turned from Seth, whom he was talking to, to Dante. "There was a breach. Someone has infiltrated your personal reliquary."
Dante's mouth contorted as a playful green stare flickered in his mind.
"Seth," Dante spoke, barely containing his sourness, "you hold command for a while more. I will handle this … intrusion."
"Understood."
