Dutchess of the End

That afternoon- after much reminiscing about the times we’d had- I ordered the caravan to come to an early stop for the day. Tilajn was a full day’s ride from here, and my quarry was all but in its backyard. I explained the situation to Tanya the Quartermaster, who understood well. She volunteered to help lead the caravan to Tilajn and procure supplies for the return journey. There would be no need to recruit a fourth or even a third Mage. My mission all but complete, I had but one leg of the expedition left.

 

It had been decided that Stephanie would keep one of her royal guardswomen- Hannah- and send the rest with me to complete the task. Stephanie argued with me for hours over it, but I would not budge. I would not let her travel into the belly of the beast with me. I would go with what protection and weaponry I could, and leave Stephanie in safer fields.

 

The three Alihjn women bid their farewells to the camp the morning after. It came as a large disappointment to the expedition as a whole that the source of the magical warmth was going away. Most didn’t understand why. I didn’t want to burden them with the knowledge of what would happen if I failed. They’d find out in due time.

 

“Goodbye, Alana.” Stephanie said. She stood there wearing the most regal outfit she’d brought with her. A royal blue ball dress with a large, wide skirt and dancing slippers that could outshine the Sun. They hugged longer than friends ought to, though they were more than just mere friends. A kiss later, and they parted. “I’ll miss you fucking awful.”

 

“Me too, Stephanie, me too.” Alana said. “I was looking forward to seeing the castle, guess it wasn’t meant to be.”

 

“Don’t say that. I told you I’d come get you when this all blew over.” Stephanie said. Alana didn’t argue the point, instead caressing  Stephanie’s cheek with one hand.

 

“Don’t expect me to be that sappy.” I said when it was my turn to bid Alana farewell. We hugged, and when we parted, neither of us leaned in for a kiss. It was fitting enough. Alana belonged to Stephanie same as I did. Any romance between us wouldn’t come as naturally.

 

“Were you expecting a goodbye fuck?” Alana asked, sliding in one last joke before her departure.

 

“Maybe I already got one.”

 

“We ride to Proja first, to see my sisters and drop off Renai.” Prinna said, cutting through the banter that had started. “And for me to see my sisters.”

 

“Not too interesting in going back to Slajo at all, but Prinna’s still got family there.” Alana said.

 

“Then so do you.” I said. “Prinna is your family now. A wedding might not be in the cards for you in the short term, but if we make it, I’ll throw you a big one.”

 

“Thank you, Carla, that’s very kind of you.” Prinna said.

 

“And Renai, enjoy your time at home, speak kindly of us to your sister-wives.” I said. We hugged briefly, though not as long as I had with Alana.

 

“I will. You’ve been a wonderful host, Carla.”

 

“I already miss you guys.” Stephanie said.

 

“So do we.” Alana said.

 

With that, Steph and Alana shared one last goodbye kiss before the three horses rode back in the direction we came from. I stood with Stephanie for a few moments, watching them go in a cloud of icy dust. Steph stood there until they were barely a speck on the horizon.

 

In that time, I made the necessary preparations for the further splintering of our expedition. Much further north and we’d be getting into territory near where Site 3-F was. With any luck we'd pass the remnants of the semi-permanent camp there. Six horses, two tents, and enough food to get from here to Tilajn plus the prerequisite four-days ride to and from this spot.

 

I didn’t want to leave Steph just as much as she didn’t want me to go, but go I must.

 

There was no point in delaying the inevitable. Our decisions had been made, and I stood with the guardswomen near our equipment as two of them loaded it into a small cart one of the horses would be carrying. Stephanie put her hands on my shoulders and kissed me lightly before pulling me into as tight a hug as I’d ever experienced. I pulled her closer to myself. For the first time since making the decision, fear crept into my mind.

 

What if I fail? What if this is all for nothing? What if… what if I lose her?

 

“Promise me you’ll come back.” Stephanie said, looking up at me with a hopeful expression.

 

“I promise.”

 

“Good. My baby needs her sire, and you damn well better be there for her.” Stephanie said. Though her words and tone were harsh, they melted in a moment, returning to the usual aloof cheeriness I always knew her for.

 

“And I will. Can’t imagine anyone else being your Queen.”

 

“I love Alana, but I can’t either. You’re mine, and I love you so fucking much Carla. I’ve wanted you and loved you for so long. Now that I have you, I’m more scared than I’ve ever been that I’m going to lose you.” Her voice had lowered into a whisper. I pressed my forehead against hers, whispering back.

 

“You won’t. I’ll be there for you. I’m going to fight hell itself for you, I’ll come back.” I said.

 

“Please do.” Stephanie said.

 

“I love you.”

 

“I love you, too.”

 

We kissed once, twice… I lost count of how long we spent there, arms wrapped around one another tightly, lips pressed against lips. The warmth of her body against the cold, the feeling of her hair tickling my fingers, her blue fineries soft and smooth on my hands. I’d miss these feelings. I’d miss her.

 

I only parted to breathe, and Stephanie looked down with a blush.

 

“We need to go.” I said. “The sooner, the better.”

 

“Why?” Stephanie asked. Technically, not a bad question. I had an answer, though.

 

“Before I lose the nerve for it.”

 

She nodded, and I walked backwards to the horse I’d be riding, making eye contact with her and smiling at her every second of it. There was a pit in my stomach, a heaviness that had been there all morning. It stung, burned like a thousand scorned lovers and was unrelenting. I blew a kiss to Stephanie before turning around.

 

A tear welled in my eye. As much as I wanted to, I didn’t look back, even as we rode away. I couldn’t. I didn’t want to show her my moment of weakness. She needed to believe I was strong enough to do this. I needed to believe that.

 

--

 

Two days later, two days of riding, of talking with the guardswomen about our plans, and two nights of emotionless sex later and I found myself sitting at the edge of the Hinterwastes. Gone were the plains and endless expanse of the treeless ground. Instead, I saw rolling hills that only increased in size, width, and elevation as they continued before me. The mountain range stood defiant even atop the hills, jutting into the sky like the pointed teeth of Proman’s defiance.

 

“Well, ladies, here we are.” I said, looking around. The path before us was overgrown with grass that came up a quarter metre if not more. The hills on either side of us stood tall, yet not proudly so, they looked climbable in an hour’s walk on foot.

 

“Where exactly is here?” One of the women- Yemis- had said. 

 

“I’d fucking like to know that, too.” I said, scanning the area. I was the historian here. A location of an ancient underground burial chamber that was within a stone’s throw of where we stood should have been my area of expertise. Instead, I saw nothing but wilderness. Of sloping ground on either end of us. The long grass extended forward in between the two hills, leading up to a third, much larger hill where it stopped growing. An idea formed in my head. It wasn’t much, but it was something to go off of. “We begin searching at the end of this path, where the north hill begins.”

 

For hours, we searched. My suggested beginning yielded no fruit. Neither did the tops of either of the hills on the sides of the path. The far side of them was just as barren of anything as anything that could be seen from the Wastes. I was about to give up for the day- the Sun getting low on the horizon- when the guardswoman Ghaln suggested something.

 

“The far side of this hill, Carla. It’s the only place we haven’t checked.” She said, pointing to the large one at the centre of the two smaller ones.

 

“It’ll take too long to cross it today. We stop for now, and go there tomorrow.” I said. I dropped down from my horse and lay out on the ground at the edge of the hill. My eyes closed, my hands and feet splayed around me, the thick traveller’s outfit protected me from the fullness of the chill of the grass. It was peaceful. Being off a horse after many hours was a relief I often relished.

 

Closer, Nightmare.

 

“Who said that?” Just as my eyes closed, I heard two whispered words. I looked around. None of the guardswomen were close enough to have whispered to me. Ghaln and Yemis were setting up the tent, the other three beginning to clear out grass to build a fire with what little wood we still had. They looked at me, then to themselves.

 

“None of us spoke, Carla.” One called out.

 

Up the hill, woman.

 

I looked at the five of them still, even as the new whisper called out to me. None wore their armour, none in any shape to fight. They were tired, hungry, as was I, but this could not be ignored.

 

Bone not of my bone and Flesh of another flesh, skin unknown, body unseen. Give it to us. Give it!

 

I scrambled to my feet, looking up the hill and charging with all my might, screaming against the cold, against the whispers, against everything that could happen to Stephanie and to our unborn child. Against fate itself if I must. The whispers became louder, screaming at me from all sides, echoing in my head in a maddening cacophony.

 

Climb, woman, climb upwards, climb to the stars, climb to witness us in our great strength!

 

I climbed. I knew not where I was going, but I climbed. I climbed to see what lay before me, I climbed upwards. I…

 

Oh Queen of Darkness, hark!

 

I stopped at the top of the hill, and with me, the voices. The echoing faded with a pair of heavy pants as I fell to my hands and knees, exhausted. My legs burned with soreness, my nose swollen from the exertion in the cold, my arms barely able to keep me from collapsing onto the frozen grass.

 

I looked around me again. What had been but simple grassland turned into stone. Four pillars surrounded a platform, cracked and ancient. At the center, a hole in the floor, and in it, a staircase headed into the hill. Down into the depths.

 

“Shit.” I muttered to myself, standing up. I turned to wave at the others, but by the time I was on my feet again, they were already next to me, armour-clad, weapons in hand.

 

“Carla!” Two called out. The five of them surrounded me, offering a ring of protection against the old rocks that appeared.

 

You’ve gone up, now you must come down. Down, down, yes, yes…

 

“What is it?” A woman asked. I shrugged.

 

“I don’t know… but we need to go inside.”