Changeling

Nestra woke up after sleeping fitfully. The light of dawn filtered through her windows, chasing away the fog of her mind. She felt tired but too nervous to go back to sleep. Too shaken. Pudding and Nut were dead. She’d killed Bard. Fuck, she’d toasted him for his birthday only a couple of months ago during a truce because it was important for the team. He’d betrayed her first. He’d betrayed all of them and she’d killed him for it. Hollowed out his chest. She remembered gore pouring through the massive bullet wound. She’d done that.

She’d killed the gleam. His skull had crumpled under her blade. It had been far too easy but he’d really underestimated her.

It had felt good to kill them. Not just because they’d tried to kill her and failed, but also physically. It had given her something. She was feeling better now than any morning in the past seven years. No cravings. Even the pain and lack of sleep couldn’t dull the relief and euphoria.

Deaths. Vengeance. Pain. No cravings. End of her career, also, she assumed.

And a new species.

Had to be honest, that was the one thing she’d been trying not to think about. Was it all a dream? She retreated to the bathroom, shut down the door, locked it. Darkness became almost complete. She couldn’t see her fingers but she could see the tiny green dot of her charging toothbrush, hear her panicked breath.

Had to be sure.

She pinched a symbolic point above her head and pulled. The Mask disappeared into the recess of… she didn’t know. She couldn’t be sure. Maybe it was not disappearing so much as… going somewhere else? Immediately, her pain abated. The dark of the bathroom became a black and white canvas, clear as day. Her vision sharpened. Her nose picked up the scent of soap, humidity, her favorite shampoo which she’d spilled last morning and not cleaned yet. She felt strong. She was also slightly taller, and naked.

Had to find out more.

Nestra left the bathroom and picked a cotton pajama, which was a little tight in her demon form. She closed all shutters, switched off all cameras and all lights since she didn’t need them. Followed a brief inspection.

Her teeth were sharp, incredibly so, to the point that she pierced her skin just by brushing them. Her blood was grey, then red as it spilled. The wound closed almost immediately.

Sucking on her thumb, she checked the nubs of her horns next. They felt very sensitive and the mana was somehow thicker around them. Not sure what else.

Her ears were a little longer and thinner but that was the last weird thing except for the color. Her hair felt normal. All her senses were better though.

Next, she headed to the basement and the gym there. Her flexibility hadn’t changed though it was already good. She casually bench pressed twice her normal maximum next.

Ok, so stronger. Definitely stronger. Maybe a little faster as well, though she wasn’t sure. There was also something else. She still felt… a little hollow, like an empty hearth waiting for a roaring fire. This was just the beginning. Or at least, that was how it felt.

Which led to the next question.

Why, and how?

Why was she not human, and how the fuck did that happen? Was she born like that? Had someone sacrificed her soul to the monochrome devil or something?

Her alarm rang. The surprise made her pull her Mask on before she realized it was just that. One thing was for sure, she could choose to transport her clothes from one form to the other as she changed. So at least there was that. Really weird, anyway.

Maybe the box sender would have more answers tonight. For now, she had to leave if she wanted to keep a normal life.

***

The car hummed in acceleration then hooked behind a convoy of corpo limos. Honestly, Nestra knew she should let the autopilot work all the time. Most traffic was directed by AI which tended to pile cars in a neat line that actually made traffic smoother for everyone. It just annoyed her to have her own expensive vehicle and then never use it.

All that thought of cars failed to distract her from the big question as she made her way to the station.

Should she tell anyone?

After all, figuring out you’re actually a gray demon masquerading as a person was the sort of stuff she could use some advice on.

Stib was a risky proposal because as much as the girl was loyal, she was also loyal to the city. Right now, Nestra looked like a fucking monster.

Mazingwe was out for another reason. Anyone who’d survived through the incursion hated the monsters with a burning hatred, no exception. She’d seen footage of her father going through some bipedal lizards in a portal world, once. It was hard to reconcile her stoic yet friendly parent with the armored avenger ripping through ranks with methodical fury, crushing skulls with a brutality that went beyond mere efficacy. So no, Mazingwe was out. And so was her family, she realized.

There was a chance someone in her family was also a monster. After all, one didn’t just magically turn into something else out of nowhere, and yet, if one or both of her parents were just like her, surely they would have mentioned it? Or at least given a hint, something like ‘oh if you feel weird and something massive changes about you, don’t worry, call us’? That would have been the very least. It had not happened.

So no, she couldn’t tell anyone. At least not anyone who wasn’t the strange benefactor leaving her the package.

Her mind naturally turned to their identity. Obviously, Nestra was under surveillance or she wouldn’t have gotten the package when she had. It would also be wise to guess who kept an eye on her.

Her mind went over the possibilities. It could be her Aunt Claire, who had substituted herself as a parent for most of Nestra’s adult life. It could be Mazingwe since he’d volunteered to be the squads’ doctor for no discernible reason. Hell, it could even be that goofy Seth because he was just weird, though the timing was a little short for that. The problem was that she couldn’t just sit down and ask them: hey, are you the one who left a package in front of my door teaching me how to blend in with the humans? Because that would be weird and a little intimate.

Best keep things to herself, for now. Follow the trail of ‘quests’ if there were more. Maybe sweep her house for spy devices even though finding any implied a long scream and burning down the entire building to exorcize that horrible violation.

The next serious question was… did it change anything in how she saw the others?

She… didn’t think so?

Her friend was still her friend. Her family was still her family, good and bad. Things might change in the future, especially if they learned what she was. That was up to them.

By the time the car turned into the precinct, Nestra was calm. She sent a message to Stib, possibly still in the hospital but received no immediate response.

Her building was empty. Truly empty. The first sounds of life came when Nestra reached the office floor and heard banging things in the chief’s office. A knock on her door interrupted the movements.

“Chief? It’s Nestra.”

“One moment please,” a broken voice replied.

It took a good fifteen seconds for Chief Ruben to compose herself. The door opened into a mess. The chief pretended she hadn’t been crying and Nestra ignored the red, puffy eyes and the occasional sniffle.

“You didn’t have to come today,” the chief chided. “You should be resting.”

“Just didn’t want to be home alone with everything…”

Nestra shrugged.

“You know. In the air. So…”

A heavy silence hung between them while Nestra looked at the piles of belongings on a cardboard box. Mostly rewards and certificates. A few ancient books made of actual papers. A couple of medals.

“You didn’t expect that after yesterday, I’d still be around, Palladian? Some heads have to roll.”

“This is bullshit.”

“Yes! Nice of you to say that,” the chief said without malice. “But the squads were under my responsibility and… you’re the only one left standing.”

“Then the department…”

“Is closed as of now. I’ll let HR know you’ve swung around. They’ll sort you out. Don’t worry, you’re too low on the pole to get axed so easily.”

“What about you?”

The chief looked at Nestra, the cold underneath returning into her features. The chief never liked it when people poked into her business but Nestra figured it didn’t matter right now.

“There will be an inquiry. I’ll be transferred to some cushier position if all goes as I expect it since the TPD can’t afford to throw talent away right now. If the call for blood is too strong, my head will roll and I’ll be fired, no matter whose fault it is. It depends.”

“There was something I wanted to tell you, actually,” Nestra said, her mind made.

The chief waited, uncertain.

“Off the record.”

“Everything we say right now is off the record.”

“Ok. We were really betrayed. Bard turned on us.”

The chief clenched her jaw. She grabbed the edge of her table then leaned on it, face reddening.

“That little wanker.”

“The rat squad mooks made it very clear I shouldn’t put it in my report unless I was ‘very sure’. Look, I won’t poke the fuckers but…”

“But I could look into it. Yes. You did well. They would have just declared you unfit to testify. Then you’d have to pass a psych eval just to get a job back. Alright. Let me be honest in return.”

“Hm?”

“Internal affairs highly suspects that the gangers received weapons and augs from a corpo supplier. A unique corpo supplier. And by suspect, I mean they are absolutely sure. They just need proof. Not an easy thing to acquire.”

“Gidung? They’re the ones who stood to earn the most.”

“And the timing of their rescue was… just a little too perfect. Yes. Look, don’t be stupid. You can’t just go after them. Even your family will not protect you if you do.”

“I’m not stupid,” Nestra replied a little sulkily.

And she really was not that stupid. She was weak and isolated. For now. It might change though, the weak part, not the isolated one. Maybe. Then they would see.

“Good. Oh, HR is there. Go talk to them then pack your things. Will you attend the service? We are… we are burying everyone at the same time. With Regis. The families agreed.”

“I’ll be there. Tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

Nestra left in an awkward silence. She was just… not very good with grief and expressing sympathy. Some of her attempts had not gone very well in the past. Aunt Claire had even recommended some online classes on how to express empathy but… they felt hollow. She did feel sorry for the chief, who had lost the people in her charge. But what would be the best answers? A hand on the shoulder? A word that she’d tried her best? Just supportive silence? Nestra knew she was supposed to be devastated as well. How would that translate?

What a fucking mess.

The HR team was settling down in the same meeting room the rat squad had used a few days and an eternity ago. Nestra exchanged hushed greetings. She recognized one of the girls from the main office, the same who usually confirmed her holidays were approved. She was an energetic, mousy tan girl. The man wasn’t familiar. He was older, with an impeccable navy suit and the kind of exact hairstyle that required discipline and a frequent visit to the stylist.

“Hey, Fon,” Nestra greeted.

“Nestra! Thank Riel you’re ok. You’re ok, right? Of course not, what am I saying?”

“Ahem,” an older man said, though not unkindly.

“Sorry Mr. Ling.”

“Not to worry, I just wouldn’t want to overwhelm our friend. Business first, if you would allow. I am commissioner Ling. I handle staffing for this district. I’m sorry, there is no other way to say this. Your unit is dissolved as of now.”

Nestra nodded. There was no unit left so… she already knew that.

“In recognition of your services and the emotional trauma associated with your loss, we are providing you with the following compensation as well as three months of leave you may take at any time you wish within the rest of your employment. If you decide to leave the force, which we would understand, the precinct will issue a letter of recommendation at your convenience.”

Ling gestured and Nestra put on and turned on her visor. A sort of contract arrived in her mailbox. It was exactly what Ling said in addition to the cozy sum of forty thousand credits, untaxed, which represented a year of income. There were no demands in return which meant it was a bribe. The large amount of money was here to make sure she wouldn’t raise a stink out of fear of losing the benefits. That was fine by Nestra. She didn’t think she would get her revenge going the normal way.

She frowned. Did she really want revenge?

Yes, she did.

It was a distant sort of anger, more a principle than an emotional drive to get even. Someone had callously written her off as an acceptable loss in their grand plan and they would get their comeuppance. It was as simple as that.

“If you have any questions…” Ling said.

Actually, might as well dig a little.

“Those are generous terms. Let me be honest. Is there a catch?”

Ling started to answer but he reconsidered.

“Ms Sonchai, would you give us a moment, please?”

“Okay…”

Fon looked worried and Nestra felt herself tense, however the commissioner's neutral expression lacked the affected sympathy that usually heralded bad news.

“Alright. There is no catch. You get that no matter what. There is something we would like you to do, however, or to be more precise, something Internal Affairs would like you to do. Again, this is not a binding agreement, Miss Palladian. We merely believe that you would have a vested interest in the proposal.”

A free lunch AND a commissioner using honorifics on her? They really wanted her something bad.

“Officer Kim would like a word with you. You met her a couple of days ago. I’m sending you her coordinates right now.”

He gestured.

“Please call her before you make a decision. Now sign the paper and get your break. Remember. We look after our own.”

Nestra glared at the utter bullshit of it. Once again, her obvious disbelief grated on her superior’s nerves. Ling seethed but he took a deep breath before he could go off, which meant Nestra had gotten away without pissing off yet another member of her hierarchy.

“Let me rephrase. We look after our own within the limits imposed upon us by central.”

“Appreciate it.”

Nestra signed. She said goodbye to Fon on her way out.

“If you need help picking a new job, let me know!” the shorter woman told her. “I have compatibility tests, offers, the works. Just let me know and I’ll clear a slot for you. Don’t just disappear on us.”

“Thanks, Fon.”

Nestra walked back to her office. There was another message for her, from the chief.

“Palladian. Before you go, please go by the armory to retrieve your sword. Thank you.”

Right. The sword was her personal property. She even had a license for that. She grabbed her personal effects and put them in a cardboard box. There wasn’t much, merely a change of clothes and a couple of mementos. Nestra didn’t consider her office as anything personal, more like a shelter than a personal spot here. Her house was her haven.

In the main building, many officers whispered as she passed by. Some of them gave her nods of sympathy. Nobody seemed angry at her, or disappointed, which was nice. The quartermaster locked the door behind her when she came in. That instantly made her nervous.

“Officer Palladian. Here for your sword?”

“Yeeees?”

“I need a favor from you. You see, I was given this nice little piece belonging to Gorge.”

He placed the revolver on the desk in front of him, shiny and clearly enchanted with mana stuff now that Nestra could look at it.

“The problem is that it’s a mana tool, one that can only be owned by someone with a special license. Like you, Nes. So, I am going to assume that Gorge merely omitted to tell me he got that license after all and I will release it into your custody so you can return it to him and if I get inspected, everything’s copacetic. You get me?”

“I get you.”

“In return, let me give you your own stuff since it’s going to be destroyed anyway. You got a weapon safe at home, right?”

“Uhm.”

“Riiiiight?”

“Why yes, of course I do.”

“Excellent. I patched up your armor. You got your submachine gun and, let’s say, two boxes of rounds you used in training. Three spare magazines you lost yesterday. And your sword, of course.”

“Right. Thanks.”

“Think nothing of it. Let me walk you to your car.”

***

Nestra set the autopilot to the hospital where Gorge was. It was a different one from Camus’, possibly because ravaged intestines were harder to fix than cracked ribs. She used the opportunity to call Officer Kim.

“Yes?”

“Hello Officer Kim, this is Nestra Palladian.”

“Ah, excellent. I was expecting your call. Do you have time for lunch tomorrow?”

“Sure?”

“See you there,” Kim said after rattling off the name of a restaurant, then she cut the call abruptly.

Maybe she was busy.

Nestra wondered what the rat squad wanted with her. The mooks had been clear they wanted her to shut up about Bard’s treachery but maybe that was not all there was to it. It was clear the TPD had been shafted badly in district 15, losing men, equipment, and face. She was sure they were itching for a comeback. Maybe there was a way to use official resources to go after the assholes who’d bought Bard. Maybe she could use both official and unofficial tools.

Nestra pulled into the hospital’s parking lot. It was an older one, she noticed, poorer too. There wasn’t a gleam in sight and her mana perception remained unequivocally inactive. She grabbed the revolver box and made her way to a cluttered reception room, joining a queue behind an old woman in a wheelchair and a panicked mother with a gaggle of stressed kids. Tense discussions filled the air along with the stench of sweat and cheap antiseptic. Somewhere to the side, someone was crying. Nestra hunched her shoulders. She didn't like hospitals. Only Aunt Claire came to visit.

“Yes?” the exhausted nurse asked.

“I am here to see Gorge, sorry, I mean. Aaron MacMillan?”

“Hm. Oh, yes, let me check.”

The nurse frowned. She had a pad rather than a visor. When she looked up, there was hesitation in her voice.

“Hm, Mr McMillan will only receive family at this time?”

“Could you let him know Nestra is here. I have something of his.”

“I, errr, I’m not supposed to…”

“Look,” Nestra replied. “we’re part of the same squad. I assume he wants our hierarchy off his back. Please just ask him? If he says no, I’ll leave. Promise.”

“Oh, alright.”

The nurse pulled on a visor while Nestra waited patiently.

“Sir? There is a Nestra here to see you. Yes. Yes. No, I would not use that term as it is quite rude. Yes, I’ll send her right away.”

The nurse hung up.

“Room 576. Take the elevators on your right. And, uh, are you really friends?”

“Not really. Why?”

“He asked if you looked like a frigid bitch.”

“Then he's in a good mood. Thanks for the help.”

Nestra moved through the first floor. The hospital was clogged, with patient beds pushed against the wall. She decided to take the stairs when she realized how many people were waiting, some of them wearing patient gowns and dragging their own IV bags with them. The fifth floor was much calmer, which was a relief. She found 576 after a quick search. The hospital was big.

“Come on in!”

Gorge lounged in a large bed, his muscular arms grabbing an ancient pad.

“Holy shit Palladian, the fuck are you doing here?”

Nestra placed the case on a side table. Gorge’s room was a single, tight yet cozy with a large screen and two wide windows. Personal effects lay scattered over the room as if Gorge had been there for a week.

“Brought you back your iron on account of its illegality.”

“Covering for me? How nice. However, let me ask you something.”

“Yeah?”

“What happened to my men?”

Gorge’s face was raw. Raw and angry. She felt like walking through an alley only to find two groups of goons on either side and her in the middle. Gorge didn’t know what happened. He couldn’t. The coms were down when Nestra killed Bard.

“Fuck.”

“I know only you and Preach made it. I know you saved him. Now tell me how the others died.”

“You’re not going to like it.”

“Fuck no I’m not going to like it, you cunt. Tell me anyway.”

“Off the record because the rats told me to shut up.”

“Start talking or I’ll use the revolver on you.”

So Nestra shared her tale, leaving nothing back. She thought Gorge might blow a fuse when the truth about Bard came out.

“That fucking disgusting son of cock-gobbling shitstain sow. Tell me you killed him.”

“Blew his chest off with Nuts’ sidearm.”

“Okay. Good. Good.”

He breathed hard, his bald face was now in the boiled lobster shade of red.

“And the mooks told you to keep the betrayal to yourself?”

“Yeah.”

“Those motherless skunk tampons. What are you gonna do about it?”

“I—”

Nestra hesitated. Gorge’s intense gaze made her ill-at-ease.

“I don’t know, okay? The fuck you want me to do, drive a demo truck into the Gidung arcology? I don’t know.”

“But you’ll try something?”

Nestra sighed.

She didn’t even like Gorge.

“I will try something.”

“Ok. Then you keep the gun.”

“What?”

“Shut the fuck up, okay? That’s my gun. You can keep it for now. I got no more use for it.”

“You’re leaving the force?”

Gorge sighed. Then he lifted his cover. Nestra gasped at the sight of a mess of bandage and the very obvious colostomy bag attached to it.

“I lost half of my damn guts. There isn’t going to be any running around in full gear for me. And before you ask, no I won’t get an aug. I can’t afford it. Not even with the nice bonus I got in the mail this morning.”

“You can ask for a loan?”

“Listen you bitch. If I do take the loan, I’ll be indebted for my whole fucking life unless I slave away for a chaebol and no way I’ll ever go corpo. If I don’t take the loan, I get insurance payment and my kids get to go to college loan-free.”

“Holy shit.”

“What?”

“You have kids?”

Gorge was so taken off guard, he actually calmed down.

“Divorced with two children. Why? Is that a problem?”

“Just can’t believe the same woman would let you fuck her twice.”

Gorge’s large frame shook and for a moment, Nestra thought she’d gone too far. Fortunately, the shaking turned into a seismic laugh.

“Fuck you Palladian, don’t make me laugh like that. That'll blow the stitches away. Take the gun and fuck off. And let me know what you find out. I can get you a lot of goodies you won’t find anywhere else. Hell, I’ll even give you a discount.”

“You’re an angel.”

Nestra left still carrying the revolver in her hand. She had her own personal arsenal now, which was kind of cool. Only when she sat in her car did she realize the problem.

“Fuck. I don’t have bullets for the revolver.”