NOVEL WEB Chapter 29 – Cat FInds Too Much Sugar, Meets Witch in Bathroom, Makes Frien.
Chapter 29
Yoruichi’s seemingly nondescript question brought Rain up short.
“What do you mean?” The spirit asked, genuinely confused.
Yoruichi kept looking around, actually examining each and every person, homie or otherwise with her senses. ‘The souls. Where are they?’ she repeated.
Rain thought for a moment, then replied slowly, “The…. Dead people? Why are you asking This King what happens to dead people, that is your realm of experience.”
Yoruichi shook her head in reply, then turned and sat down so she could have a more direct conversation. ‘Yes, the dead people. Did the fleas finally bite you too much? Anyway, think about it. How many people die here in general. We saw that little girl, Kuina, remember? We know souls are possible. But where are the rest of them?’
Growling with frustrated thoughts, Rain finally ground out, “I don’t know! Why would I when for almost 250 years you decided to not use me?!”
Yoruichi sighed in frustration herself, ‘All right all right, you grumpy furball. We can have that conversation later. This is something important. Probably.’
Yoruichi then hopped from her perch on one roof to another, and then another, headed in the direction of what could only be described as a castle made of cake.
‘Regardless of what you might not know, you lazy asshole, think about it. In current times back home, a lot of people don’t really die in things other than accidents, disease, or old age, and maybe the odd war.’ Yoruichi said, this time more talking to herself than anything else, ‘That still creates a bunch of souls that have regrets, or still want to continue living, or what have you.’
Yoruichi jumped across a street gap to land on another building, before she paused for a moment. She had sensed what was probably, no definitely the largest soul on the island other than her own. Immediately deciding that was where she wanted to be, Yoruichi set off.
Continuing her monologue, Yoruichi thought, ‘In this world however, things are a lot different. It is much closer to how things were back home a couple hundred years ago, before I was born even. In this world, people die by the literal boatload, especially here in the grand line. Pirates kill townfuls of people on a daily basis, and then the same pirates, and pretty much every single person who even thinks about braving the seas has to face tons of obstacles. Sea Kings, Marines, other Pirates, even the ocean itself.
All of that death, and yet we have seen one soul. One. There are so many people who would die with regrets in this world that there should be tons of souls, which would then lead to tons of hollows, since none of them would really have a way to get to the afterlife since it doesn’t seem there are any Shinigami here.
That begs the question….. Where are the souls?’ Yoruichi finished with a grim expression on her face. Anything she could think of to explain that was nothing good, each scenario worse than the next.
Yoruichi scanned the city, though her mind was lost in thought. She had no idea how she had not noticed it before. Every time Shinigami go into the land of the living they inevitably end up running into souls, and purifying them, sending them on their way. It was their job after all. Even the Shinigami who were declared traitors kept up the practice, although the Visored and Kisuke did less so than either Yoruichi herself and Tessai, for their own reasons.
But…. She had seen one little girl, in a world full of people who have many reasons to stick around after they’re dead, and that was it.
Yoruichi growled in frustration, not bring able to think of a suitable reason. ‘Hrngh. I guess I will have to put this off for a bit. I have no idea how to even go about investigating this kind of thing.’ Yoruichi continued on her way toward the castle, hopping over rooftop to rooftop as she moved, ‘Maybe Tsuru would know something? She seemed pretty knowledgeable about a lot of things every time I met her.’
“Hey, less grumbling more focusing on not crashing into the wall.” Rain said with a laughing lilt to his voice.
“Hu-Purth” Yoruichi said right as she crashed into the wall of the castle headfirst. She was going fast enough to break her head right through the wall itself and come sticking out on the other side.
Yoruichi shook her head off of the dust and debris that had formed around her head as she sputtered in indignation at her spiritual companion. ‘YOU COULDN’T HAVE TOLD ME SOONER?!’ she yelled, spitting out a piece of the wall.
“No.”
“Well fuck you too then…” Yoruichi grumbled out loud as she pulled herself out of the hole she had made. Once she had freed herself she looked around, up and down at what she had actually hit.
She was standing on some Reishi platforms as she was floating in the air, which drew some stares from pedestrians below, which naturally got the attention of the chess guards. Yoruichi noticed that they had seen her, but didn’t really care. What were they gonna do, arrest a floating cat?
Turns out that is exactly what they were going to try and do as the pawns started breaking out ladders to come and get her down, and some knights made a break for what was probably a mission to sound the alarm.
Yoruichi looked down at the commotion and then back up at the hole she made. ‘Eh, might as well use it now that it’s there.’ She thought, and then proceeded to throw herself at the hole again, punching right through the ‘soft’ wall of the multi-tiered cake shaped structure.
She landed in what appeared to be the section of wall that would normally hold insulation but was much wider than she thought. After a moment she concluded it must be a hidden walkway in the castle.
With a neat little way to navigate, Yoruichi quickly dropped down to the floor and darted along. Her thoughts proved themselves right when Yoruichi stumbled upon a door that led further into the building. Her curiosity getting the better of her, Yoruichi jumped up to the height of the door handle and stood on some reishi platforms so she could get some leverage.
She then reached out with both front paws and grabbed the doorhandle with her claws, the sharp implements tearing a bit through the candy apple shaped handle, but allowed her to grip the round knob.
She twisted it gently, finding it unlocked (for some reason) and opened the door. Dropping down to the floor again, she peeked her feline head inside, and saw the most interesting inside garden. It smelled of flowers, nice and breezy, with some sort of outdoor, cloudy wallpaper acting as a ‘sky’.
“Huh. Outside on the inside. Interesting.” Yoruichi said, and promptly closed the door. She continued her way around the tower, noticing that the floor had a slight rise to it.
‘It must go all the way around like a screw.’ She thought idly as she picked up the pace, throwing the odd flash-step in there to speed up her progress.
After a minute or two Yoruichi came across another door, much like the first one. She repeated the process of jumping, clawing, and opening the door to find this room much different than the one that was now below her. It looked to be a circular room decorated in dull grey stonework, with pillars holding up two different areas of sorts.
Inside those areas, which were separated with iron bars, looked to be piles and piles of treasure. There were staircases leading from the ground floor to the second floor, which housed even more treasure, from barrels, to boxes, to chests, to gold lying around haphazardly.
There was a larger door which seemed to be the main entrance into the room, with the door Yoruichi had opened off to the side, on the backside of the first floor of treasure.
Looking up, Yoruichi could see the mirrored staircase that was matching the one across from her. Being the curious kitty she was, Yoruichi decided to enter the room, but not before suppressing her presence as much as possible, since she did sense some of those pawn soldiers wandering around, probably guards.
Padding around the first piece of treasure, Yoruichi took a look around, nimbly dodging the eyes of the guards who were not doing a very good job.
She explored to her heart’s content, curiosity taking over her. Walking up and over piles of boxes filled with riches, fox diving into piles of gold, bedazzling herself with some sort of golden glitter that will probably never come out of her fur ever again, Yoruichi was having the time of her life.
Around a few minutes of exploration later, a tiny feline head popped out of a pile of gold coins, sending a few clinking down the pile, her golden eyes flicking around to look at what to search for next. She hopped out of her hiding spot and sauntered over to what looked like someone had just taken a chunk out of the building, floor, ceiling, walls and all.
‘How the hell did I miss this when I got here?’ Yoruichi asked herself. She peeked her head over the side of the gap in the floor, peering down. She could see slight bits of light peeking through the bottom of the hole, which she assumed was from that ‘outside courtyard’ place she saw a little while ago.
Looking up to the far wall, Yoruichi could see what looked like some sort of bath area peeking through the crumbling wall from what. With a sudden sneeze glitter shining in the light peeking through the less than intact ceiling, Yoruichi flash-stepped across gap in the floor to land in the only hole in the wall and landed in what was definitely some sort of bathroom.
“Hmmmm.” Yoruichi said aloud. She then grinned in a way that was definitely not catlike. “Bathtime!”.
She then swan dived into the nearest inground bath, and started paddling around, humming to herself. She then hopped out of the water and started voraciously scrubbing herself down.
It was only 5 minutes later that she heard something warp behind her. Yoruichi turned around and screamed in alarm at the horrid image she was faced with. “HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU??!!” she cried, her deep voice reverberating throughout the room.
What stood in front of her could only be described as the most stereotypical witch one would ever see, if the witch was grey instead of green, and with purple hair. The woman looked almost rail thin, with bony arms and sharp, clawlike hands.
She had purple hair that was pointing out from her head in what looked like thick points, causing her to give off an air of eccentricity. She wore a simple white dress with a somewhat low cut, showing off some of her cleavage. It had frills around the edges, and looked to be sectioned into three different parts, each of which had a ring of roses around the ends.
However, her most defining features were her height, where she stood at over 11 feet tall (350cm) which when paired with her thin body, made her look almost skeletal, and a massive scar going from her forehead and down to her jaw, crossing over her extremely wide mouth, which was currently smiling creepily at the cat in front of her.
“Well, well, well. What do we have here? A little kitty kitty lost in the bath. How curious….” The woman smiled down at the tiny cat, who looked to be the size of her foot.
“And you talk! It’s been so long since I have found someone so curious.” The woman reached down and picked up Yoruichi, who was still staring at the witch, and held her in front of her own wide smile, which compared to the cat, was enough to probably eat Yoruichi whole in one bite.”
The woman twisted Yoruichi around, examining her in her entirety, and pouted a little. “Aw, you look like you’re lost. I heard my big brother found a little kitty that looked just like you.” She said, “I wonder if you are the one he was talking about. He was quite put out when ‘His Mr.Bonbon decided to jump ship.’”
The woman paused for a moment, a thought crossing her mind. “He did not mention that you could talk, though, so I am not sure if you would be the same one…..” she trailed off, and started mumbling to herself.
At this point Yoruichi had gotten over her shock at seeing the woman, and was starting to get annoyed at all the extremely tall people picking her up.
‘Mah, at least she isn’t gonna lick me.’ Yoruichi thought to herself, deadpanning at the seemingly absentminded woman who had decided to kidnap her.
The woman, who was turning around to walk back from where she came, suddenly stopped. “I know!” she said, her face lighting up like someone had just revealed how to make sliced bread to her, “Since you don’t seem like Perospero’s, since he said nothing of a talking cat being his pet, I will put you in a stew and eat you!”
‘What.’ Yoruichi deadpanned, her brain freezing all function at that sentence. ‘Did she just say stew and eat me?!’ Yoruichi cried in her head, ‘Rain Rain Rain. Tell me I did not just hear that.’
“Muah? What? Hear what?” the obviously still half-asleep big cat replied.
‘This woman found me and decided that since I am not ‘claimed as a pet’ that she was gonna ‘stew and eat me’.’ Yoruichi rambled, her body still locked up in agitation.
“Why are you asking This Glorious Monarch about this? Go back to frolicking in worthless riches peasant.” Rain replied, completely dodging the question and going right back to his catnap.
‘Ah. Forgot he gets grumpy when I wake him.’ Yoruichi grumbled, and focused back into reality. She was not happy to find the woman now holding Yoruichi up to her face, close enough that Yoruichi could reach out and grab the woman’s large nose.
“Ah You can talk! I thought I was just imagining it! Maybe I won’t eat you after all. It would be much more interesting to dissect you and see why you can talk, since cats don’t have talkable vocal cords.” The woman said, rambling off again at the end.
“Uh, miss witch lady, can we not talk about eating me? I would rather not be put into a pot, no matter how flavorful I am sure I might taste.” Yoruichi replied gently, using a tone someone would use on a dementia patient.
The woman pouted again, and said petulantly, “But how would you know how you taste until you try it? I don’t think many beings are into cannibalism.”
Yoruichi sighed, and replied tiredly, “Youd be surprised.” Thinking back to all of the hollows she had seen trying to eat each other over the years.
The woman smiled again, her grin definitely bigger than Yoruichi. “So we cook you then and try it out!”
“No.”
“But, how will you find out what you taste good with?”
“No.”
“Cat in pot, yes.”
“No. I am not going into a pot.”
“Yes.”
“Nope.”
“Mhm.”
“Nu-uh.”
The woman frantically nodded her large head, causing what looked like drool to slip out of her mouth.
Yoruichi frantically shook her head, causing water droplets to fly off her head.
They stared at each other, coming to an impasse. After a moment, Yoruichi switched tactics.
“I am Yoruichi.” She said, taking on a calm and impassive voice, acting as if they had just met and the woman in front of her had not repeatedly threatened to cook her alive.
“Huh? Oh. I am Brulee. Charlotte Brulee. 19th child of Mama.” Brulee responded. She then put Yoruichi on her shoulder and started walking away, headed toward a mirror.
“So, no pot?”
“No. No pot.”
“Awww.”
Yoruichi patted the side of the woman’s face with her paw. “You’ll get over it. I’m sure on this island made of food there is something for you to eat. Like civilians.”
“Oh, such a good idea!”
Brulee walked over to a mirror and looked it, taking in it’s large round shape from almost floor to ceiling.
Yoruichi was wondering what was going on, until Brulee stepped into the mirror, bringing Yoruichi in with her. Doing a series of double takes behind her and back into the now twisting circular and checkered hallway with mirrors plastered all over the walls, Yoruichi was incredibly confused. After a few moments, she simply chalked it up to what Garp called “Devil fruit, huh?” Yoruichi asked, her head swiveling back to Brulee who seemed to have a satisfied smirk on her face.
“Yes!” the tall woman replied and started walking along what looked to be a winding floating staircase going through the passage. “I will be taking you back to my house to decide on what to do with you. First, we have to stop by the library though, there is something I want to get.”
Yoruichi shrugged and hunkered down on the tall woman’s shoulder, accepting the free ride and probably information for what it was. Not like this crazy woman could do anything to her anyways. Probably. Hopefully.
Brulee wandered down the passage, scanning the walls for what Yoruichi assumed was a specific mirror. After a few minutes of wandering, Brulee seemed to finally find the right one, and hopped right into it.
They popped out onto a terrace overlooking a library with exceedingly large books. Yoruichi looked around curiously, but wasn’t able to see much since it seemed like most of the books were on the first floor.
Yoruichi sat on Brulee’s shoulder as the thin woman scuttured about, quickly making her way down the central stairs in the library to go and find whatever it was she was looking for.
Yoruichi watched with interest when the woman started grabbing books off the shelves and opening them, only to slam them close almost immediately and put them back.
After about 15 minutes of this, Yoruichi lost interest almost entirely, zoning back into her own thoughts.
‘Things have kind of spiraled very quickly, haven’t they?’ Yoruichi thought rhetorically.
Unsurprisingly, or surprisingly, depending on how you look at it, Rain responded. “Yes, and it is in no way shape or form due to you going out and looking for things to toss your sorry ass into.”
Yoruichi looked almost offended, her face scrunching up in recoil. ‘Oi! How is me getting forcefully shunted off on a ‘vacation’, me finding out that my family’s lost treasure is off floating in some random dude’s hands in the middle off, and getting pulled into taking out some weird asshole with a steering wheel in his head who can fly, any of my fault?!’
Rain grunted, and said offhandedly, “Don’t forget the lack of souls.”
‘THAT TOO! The only noteworthy thing that was actually good was that you started being less of a grumpy, arrogant asshole and started letting me use you again!’ Yoruichi yelled into her head.
“Hahahaha. Like me ‘letting’ you use Us is in any way true. We never stopped allowing you. It is our purpose. Our pride. You are the one who decided to stop using your Zanpakuto and train in using your own body to fight.” Rain rumbled, his voice taking on a tinge of the pride he spoke about.
Yoruichi grimaced internally, wincing at the tone her spirit was using, like talking down to a child who didn’t know they were wrong. ‘So, its my fault, huh? Is that why you won’t let me use my Shikai? Because I’m not prideful enough for you?’ She got more and more annoyed as she went on, getting lost in her own ranting.
“Yoruichi.” Rain said, trying to catch her attention. But Yoruichi was getting into her rant, paying less and less attention to what was being said to her and more of what she was saying herself.
‘You think that I even have any pride left? All I ever wanted was to lead my clan and family like my ancestors did and make my family proud. I wanted to be the best Shinigami I could ever be, but did that happen? Maybe. If only for a few, select years where I was at my so called highest with you. Then what? I get chained down to the clan head position, too ‘valuable’ to be sent out to do actual things a soul reaper should be doing.’ Yoruichi was getting more annoyed, angry, and all around done with what was happening around her. It was getting to the point that her entire body was shaking slightly in the real world, if only minorly.
“Yoruichi!” Rain said again, a slight tone of urgency taking over his voice. But Yoruichi did not pay attention.
‘How would you like it if you were strapped down to a single cage, with nothing but pretty walls and people fawning over your every move. Actually, I’d bet your lazy ass would love that, wouldn’t you? Mr. Big Man on the Block?! All nice and cozied up-‘
“Yoruichi Shihoin!!!! LOOK AT THE FUCKING BOOK!” Rain roared, his booming voice almost physically rattling Yoruichi’s skull into submission.
“Hu-What? What book… Oh that book.” Yoruichi said, her brain taking on a somewhat autopilot and making her focus back on the real world after her rant.
She didn’t really know what she was looking at for a second, but kept going anyway. ‘What so special about…. This……Oh.’ Yoruichi asked Rain, stuttering off as she saw exactly what Rain was trying desperately to get her to look at.
Charlotte Brulee was in a world of her own, completely ignorant of what was outside her and the books. She spent a lot of time here, researching new specimens mama had caught and put into the books as exhibits. She had recently found a book that detailed a recipe for cooking sea king that she had wanted to try out, but couldn’t seem to remember where it was in the library. Might be that trying to remember where all her mirrors connect to clogged her brain.
She had migrated her way over to the history section a few minutes ago, and was flipping through the books trying to look at what she thought she remembered as historic ways of cooking the large fish.
She had just put back a book that Mama had detailing as much as she could find on before the Void Century, which honestly wasn’t much. All it had was some sort of dull kimono and a simple katana. Probably some warrior from Wano. The only interesting thing was the crest on the back, which was a hexagon with two rectangles inside of it perpendicular to each other, with 4 stars at the end of each rectangle. There were 4 lines coming from the bottom of each star toward the center of the hexagon, where they met and formed a diamond shape which held what looked like a water droplet falling into a bowl.
Due to her own intent searching, she did not notice the sudden loss of weight from her shoulder, as well as a slight burst of smoke coming from behind her. She also completely missed the padding of feet over to where she had just placed the last book she had out, the one on the void century warrior, and said feet pulling the book out.
However, just a few minutes later, Brulee came back to reality, definitely not missing the tanto sized blade at her throat and the utterly horrifying presence of someone directly behind her head.
“Tell me…..” the voice whispered, sending chills down Brulee’s spine “Where did your family find the clothing in that book?”