A Peculiar very Peculiar (Miss Peregrine's home for peculiar children)

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...

"Go ahead, Jacob, express yourself, tell us what you think, I'm here to help you, after all" – said Doctor Golan while jotting something down in his notebook.

In the last sessions he also wrote down many of the things I told him, in fact, I came to think that He was writing down word for word, but... It's impossible, right?

"You see, as I said the other day to Dr. Golan, my parents, I mean, you gave me a party to cheer me up" – I said.

"That's right, you told me in the last session, I remember it perfectly" – he nodded.

"Yes... but I don't remember seeing you there since you received your last present" – my father nodded.

The truth is that, after a while, his parents realized his absence, but, even so, they did nothing, because according to Dr. Golan, Jacob still needed time to completely get over the death of his beloved grandfather and they should not be forced to do anything he did not want to do, so they left him alone.

"Well... I was a little sad and I didn't feel like being at the party, even so, thank you for trying to cheer me up" – I said.

I said it in a grateful tone, my parents can be this way, they may sometimes do things that offend me, some knowingly and some not, but at least they care about me and try to cheer me in every way they can think of, these days I have already received more family love than in all my previous life. So, in that sense, I'm grateful.

"You're welcome..." – my father said.

It seems that he noticed that i really thanked him because he smiled slightly, something that lately I never saw him do, although... I was locked up in my room most of the time, in fact, if it weren't for Jacob's memories and that I was already used to being locked up in a house... I would have gone completely crazy, this thing of not being able to go out is frustrating, but I hope it was worth it.

"You see, after entering my room Aunt Susie came. She gave me a box containing the photos that Grandpa used to show me when I was little and among those photos I saw something interesting" – I said.

"What did you see?" - asked Dr. Golan curiously.

"I saw a letter addressed to my grandfather where it basically written an address, apparently that letter was written by someone who lives in Cairnholm" – I explained.

"Cairnholm?" – Dr. Golan asked without understanding.

"It's a small island that had an orphanage where my father stayed for a while" - my father said.

Grandfather Abe basically narrowly escaped death when he was a child, but not only did he manage to escape the war, but he said that he also managed to escape from some monsters that chased him relentlessly and that, there, in that orphanage he was taken in by Miss Peregrine who saved his life and was raised there for a few years until he decided to leave to live his life.

"An orphanage?" . asked Dr. Golan again.

But this time he seemed to be very interested, which is quite impressive because I had never seen him so interested in something I had told him, this is the first time I see him like this.

At that moment, I felt something inside me that told me, "don't tell him more, you shouldn't reveal more information to that man", I didn't know why my inner voice was telling me that and I couldn't remember anything about this guy either, believe me, I already tried and it was impossible, just that little voice inside me that constantly told me what I had just mentioned, but... If I don't win this guy's favor, I won't be able to travel to the island, my parents would prevent me from doing so and if possible I don't want to run away from home, I don't want to have unnecessary problems.

"That's right, my father wasn't very lucky when he was a child and narrowly escaped the war, he almost died, but luckily he was taken into the orphanage and raised there until he could start fending for himself, then he left and never came back" – my father nodded.

"I understand, but... What does this orphanage have to do with all this conversation?" – Dr. Golan asked without understanding.

Something that happened infrequently because he always seemed to have an answer for everything, I must admit that this guy is quite intelligent, but he is also very cold and calculating, in short, he has the makings of a businessman and even a politician.

"I'll be frank, I want to visit the orphanage" – I said directly.

Beating around the bush would only complicate things more, it is better to address the subject directly, without holding back.

"Are you crazy, Jacob?" - my father asked immediately.

"I'm not crazy, why do you think that?" – I asked curiously.

"Well, why did you just lose your grandfather! Why do you want to go to that place, to punish yourself even more?! Nothing about that, I won't allow you to go to that place and even less as you are now, we are beginning to see the light and I don't plan to go back to the beginning!" – my father exclaimed.

I was surprised because for the first time since I came into this world, my father has lost his temper, he has always been calm and has never raised his voice to me until now, in fact, he practically never screamed at the previous Jacob, according to his memories, it was less than 10 times in 15 years, practically never.

"Sir, you must calm down first, shouting will not prove you right. Besides, Jacob has not yet finished explaining himself, I think you should sit down first and let his son finish talking before expressing your clear disagreement about it" – said Dr. Golan frowning.

It seemed that he had not liked how my father had screamed and had gotten a little angry, well, I did not know that this man could get angry, in fact, during the last sessions that is what I tried, to make him angry, the reason for this is because this person gives me a bad feeling, a person cannot be so calm, I don't know why but behind that façade something is hidden... That's why I tried to make him angry, but I didn't succeed in spite of my eloquence and my contemptuous hints.

"Sorry, I have let myself go, I apologize for losing my manners, it will not happen again" – said my father.

He was embarrassed, I could tell, mainly because he seemed to blush and sit up the instant he heard those words.

"Well, go on, Jacob, what are your real intentions? Why do you want to travel to that island when your loss is so recent?" - asked Dr. Golan.

"You see, I know you think I haven't progressed enough to face something like this, but... During all these days I have noticed something interesting, no matter how hard I try, I can't forget my grandfather, it's impossible and I don't think I will get better until I can say goodbye to him properly" – I said.

"I understand, and what does the orphanage have to do with all this?" – Doctor Golan asked again.

"Simple, a few days ago I was lost, desperate to find a way to forget him or at least overcome my problem, but I didn't know what to do until I saw that direction and at that moment I knew. The only way to overcome the death of my grandfather is to go back to his origins, to see where he grew up, where he was raised, where he spent his childhood and, hopefully, talk with an adult who was part of that orphanage. I think that way I could overcome his loss, get better and live my life normally, as it should have been from the beginning" – I said.

The truth is that this was not acted, it is what I really felt, apart from the system, its missions and my objectives, I felt that I could not overcome the death of my now grandfather, all due to the memories and feelings left by the old Jacob.

At first, I hated that feeling and I wanted to get away from it, forget it, but after reflecting a little, I realized that I should not be here because because of me, the real Jacob has died and I have supplanted him, I think I owe him at least that, I think I have to at least make his soul rest in peace wherever he is.

[His soul has been integrated with yours, you are one and the same being]

It doesn't matter, that's irrelevant, I know that that soul will not be able to rest in peace until it feels comfortable, until it gets over the death of his grandfather, I owe it to him for stealing his life and his body, for stealing his conscience and his future.

I don't remember the books or what I didn't like about them, but even so, Jacob didn't deserve to have his life stolen, so now that I'm here and I've taken it from him, he deserves at least that.

[…]

"Impressive, I think you have found the answer yourself" – said Dr. Golan.

"Those words have been very nice, but I still think that you should not go there, that you are not prepared and I am sure that Dr. Golan will agree with me" – said my father.

Fuck, how stubborn!

"I must disagree with you, Mr. Portman. I believe that Jacob has found himself what he needs to overcome the death of his grandfather" - said Dr. Golan.

Great, I managed to get him on my side!

"What, do you really think it's wise to take him there, doctor?" - my father asked incredulously.

"In fact I not only think it is prudent, I think it is rather necessary, I think you should take him to that island to say goodbye to his grandfather. I firmly believe that this way we will be able to save months of therapy, I am completely sure of it" – Dr. Golan agreed.

Fuck, he's super convinced!

"If you say so... although I am still not very convinced" – said my father.

"Dad, think about it another way, it will be like a father and son vacation and also, so you can observe native birds of the area to be able to include them in your future book" – I said.

"Well, I must admit that you are right there" – my father said.

"It's all advantages, we take a vacation, I overcome the trauma of the death of my grandfather and you observe birds that are not here and you would include them in your book, we all win" – I said with a smile.

Accept, I can't think of anything else to convince him!

"… Okay, we'll go there, but in return, I want you to talk to Dr. Golan if you feel anxiety or something like that and don't worry, I'll take care of convincing your mother, although it won't be an easy task..." – my father said.

And then, he let out a huge sigh.